Discussion Social Anxiety Poll

[CrazyDiamond04]

Social anxiety is the main reason why I feel like ending it all. I'm curious to see if it is for others as well.

 

[jellie]

Social anxiety has caused me to not be able to seek out friendships and relationships. This has caused me to feel a profound sense of loneliness which is a large contributing factor to my desire to CTB.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Social anxiety has caused me to not be able to seek out friendships and relationships. This has caused me to feel a profound sense of loneliness which is a large contributing factor to my desire to CTB.

I agree. It's made me completely useless in life. I'm effectively a subhuman because of it. Any sense of normalcy feels completely unobtainable to me; all I feel is the want for this to end.

 

[jellie]

I agree. It's made me completely useless in life. I'm effectively a subhuman because of it. Any sense of normalcy feels completely unobtainable to me; all I feel is the want for this to end.

I feel the same. I am just entering my sophomore year of university and have begun to realize that I feel most alone with I am surrounded by people who I used to be able to call my friends. they sat with me at dinner tonight and i was filled with this awful feeling of nervousness that they'd hate me even more than they already did.
I used to feel like if i could just make friends, maybe this wouldn't be so awful. but connection has not saved me. I feel more at peace when I am alone, i guess the feeling of loneliness is better than the feeling of anxiety.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I feel the same. I am just entering my sophomore year of university and have begun to realize that I feel most alone with I am surrounded by people who I used to be able to call my friends. they sat with me at dinner tonight and i was filled with this awful feeling of nervousness that they'd hate me even more than they already did.
I used to feel like if i could just make friends, maybe this wouldn't be so awful. but connection has not saved me. I feel more at peace when I am alone, i guess the feeling of loneliness is better than the feeling of anxiety.

I'm a university sophomore too lol. I don't really have any friends at Uni. I tried joining a club but it didn't really work out. I agree with the loneliness part too. Being lonely is killing me but the anxiety is too much.

 

[jellie]

I'm a university sophomore too lol. I don't really have any friends at Uni. I tried joining a club but it didn't really work out. I agree with the loneliness part too. Being lonely is killing me but the anxiety is too much.

we are very similar then arent we-
loneliness is killing us but we seem to be physically unable to make the connections to cure that loneliness

if you ever need someone to reach out to, id be happy to chat with you more, even if it is just about random day-to-day stuff :)

 

[FadingSunshine]

I hate the feeling of wanting to talk but nothing will come out. I wish I could just talk as smoothly as everyone else. I feel like I'm fucking chatGPT the way I come up with sentences, I have to go one word after the other, instead of knowing what I'm going to say before I even say it.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

we are very similar then arent we-
loneliness is killing us but we seem to be physically unable to make the connections to cure that loneliness

if you ever need someone to reach out to, id be happy to chat with you more, even if it is just about random day-to-day stuff :)

Aww, that's really sweet of you! My day to day is fairly boring but I would love to talk about pretty much whatever. Speaking of which, what's your major?

I hate the feeling of wanting to talk but nothing will come out. I wish I could just talk as smoothly as everyone else. I feel like I'm fucking chatGPT the way I come up with sentences, I have to go one word after the other, instead of knowing what I'm going to say before I even say it.

I understand what you mean. I often find myself struggling to know what to say so I usually just end up awkwardly spitting something out.

 

[AbsurdCapybara]

I have terrible social anxiety. It's why I have no friends and suffer from soul-crushing loneliness. I'm well on my way to being one of those weird shut-ins. Btw, CrazyDiamond, one of my fave songs is Mayonaise.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I have terrible social anxiety. It's why I have no friends and suffer from soul-crushing loneliness. I'm well on my way to being one of those weird shut-ins. Btw, CrazyDiamond, one of my fave songs is Mayonaise.

I feel you :( social anxiety really does just rob the life of whoever it affects. It's terrible, and I'm terrified of becoming a shut-in. I'm determined to hopefully CTB before that happens. Mayonaise is also a great song! My favorites from Siamese Dream have always been Rocket and Hummer.

 

[BlazingBob]

I'm an old fart, having grown up in the 70s and 80s. I just don't remember seeing such a prevalence of social anxiety back then. Maybe I didn't notice. It sounds like a very painful and difficult thing to live with. I'm so sorry you're struggling with it. While I can't understand it, what I can understand is painful loneliness. It's one of many reasons I'm planning on ctb.

 

[front of me]

I think it is self-evident that there is anxiety, nothing is guaranteed

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I'm an old fart, having grown up in the 70s and 80s. I just don't remember seeing such a prevalence of social anxiety back then. Maybe I didn't notice. It sounds like a very painful and difficult thing to live with. I'm so sorry you're struggling with it. While I can't understand it, what I can understand is painful loneliness. It's one of many reasons I'm planning on ctb.

It's not fun at all. I would guess that lack of the internet in the 70s and 80s along with other technology made kids more likely to socialize and do things together. Loneliness is such a terrible thing, especially for the older folk :(. My mother told me about how much my great grandmother struggled with it after my great grandfather passed away, and now my grandparents are also dealing with it as well. It's very hard for the older generation. Thanks for your comment, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

 

[corazon]

The cruel joke is that to get professional help for social anxiety... you have to face your social anxiety. Unless there's some way you can overcome it without any human interaction (which is no doubt counterintuitive). Although it's not my main reason for CTB, social anxiety has just really fucked me over plain and simple.

 

[SolomonKado]

My social anxiety is my main reason and being around others for me is dangerous. Because of other people I've been hurt physically and emotionally so much to where I've had to seek lots of medical help.

I used to want to be around others and do what I can to help anyone. Not anymore. Other people are dangerous and it sucks that I go through all this effort to get help and they refuse to for themselves. Causing others to get hurt also. It's not only because of coworkers, but also the leadership is no safer. Fuck what that place did to me and how it left me like this…

 

[sserafim]

Social anxiety is the main reason why I feel like ending it all. I'm curious to see if it is for others as well.

It's a factor but it's not the main one. My main reason is Asperger's/autism, then ADHD, then social anxiety.

 

[dazed_dreamer]

I'm a university sophomore too lol. I don't really have any friends at Uni. I tried joining a club but it didn't really work out. I agree with the loneliness part too. Being lonely is killing me but the anxiety is too much.

I've also struggled badly with social anxiety, but I've actually learned how to manage it pretty well. I was literally in your shoes this time last year--a college sophomore with crippling social anxiety that was one of the biggest reasons I was miserable. I would have one social (sometimes even more "professional" but still nerve-wracking) plan for the week, and I would be an anxious mess for days ahead, ultimately flaking out a good amount of the time. I was painfully lonely.
I think my first step in facing it was talking to a therapist. Obviously terrifying at first, it took me years to do it, but after one session I'd wish I'd done it years ago. The fact you can talk about (some of) your problems and social fears in a relatively judgement-free zone where it stays between you and the therapist was so freeing. I'd look and see if your Uni offers free counseling; that's how I started. Even if it's not as high-quality as a "more legit" paid source, I honestly think just having that environment to rant is the main thing.
After that, I started a process of recognizing that fear within me, acknowledging it and letting it be, but not letting it hold me back. For example, I'd think "I'm feeling really anxious about this meeting later. My heart is pounding, mind is racing, my blood feels hot and I'm restless. It's okay that this fear is here, and I'll give it space." Then I wait a moment before saying something like "It's okay that this fear is here, but I choose to still go to this meeting anyway, even if I feel uncomfortable at first." Obviously easier said than done, and there was a lot of trial-and-error with this, and many nights were the fear still held me back partially or entirely. But this genuinely began to work for me over many months. I eventually got to a point where I would look forward to social events and relaxing with friends, with only a small moment of fear. Of course, certain situations still make it flair up, and I feel nowhere close to my old, fearless, extroverted self, but I've definitely made progress.
Sorry if this advice is unwarranted, but I really wanted to say something, especially when I saw you were a uni sophomore, because that was legit me this time last year. This is an issue I genuinely feel there is hope at helping! Regardless, I wish you peace and comfort and relief, wherever that may be and whatever that means to you. <3

 

[real human being]

It is one of reasons, but far from the only one. If the poll was just about anxiety in general I might have answered that it's the main reason.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I've also struggled badly with social anxiety, but I've actually learned how to manage it pretty well. I was literally in your shoes this time last year--a college sophomore with crippling social anxiety that was one of the biggest reasons I was miserable. I would have one social (sometimes even more "professional" but still nerve-wracking) plan for the week, and I would be an anxious mess for days ahead, ultimately flaking out a good amount of the time. I was painfully lonely.
I think my first step in facing it was talking to a therapist. Obviously terrifying at first, it took me years to do it, but after one session I'd wish I'd done it years ago. The fact you can talk about (some of) your problems and social fears in a relatively judgement-free zone where it stays between you and the therapist was so freeing. I'd look and see if your Uni offers free counseling; that's how I started. Even if it's not as high-quality as a "more legit" paid source, I honestly think just having that environment to rant is the main thing.
After that, I started a process of recognizing that fear within me, acknowledging it and letting it be, but not letting it hold me back. For example, I'd think "I'm feeling really anxious about this meeting later. My heart is pounding, mind is racing, my blood feels hot and I'm restless. It's okay that this fear is here, and I'll give it space." Then I wait a moment before saying something like "It's okay that this fear is here, but I choose to still go to this meeting anyway, even if I feel uncomfortable at first." Obviously easier said than done, and there was a lot of trial-and-error with this, and many nights were the fear still held me back partially or entirely. But this genuinely began to work for me over many months. I eventually got to a point where I would look forward to social events and relaxing with friends, with only a small moment of fear. Of course, certain situations still make it flair up, and I feel nowhere close to my old, fearless, extroverted self, but I've definitely made progress.
Sorry if this advice is unwarranted, but I really wanted to say something, especially when I saw you were a uni sophomore, because that was legit me this time last year. This is an issue I genuinely feel there is hope at helping! Regardless, I wish you peace and comfort and relief, wherever that may be and whatever that means to you. <3

You're completely right and the worst part is that I know you're right lol. I seriously need to break out of my comfort zone but it's damn hard! I've been able to help mitigate some of my anxiety through exposure but I always doubt myself when taking the next step. Worst part is I keep putting it off. I think I'm gonna have to start trying harder though as it's quite literally do or die.

 

[dazed_dreamer]

You're completely right and the worst part is that I know you're right lol. I seriously need to break out of my comfort zone but it's damn hard! I've been able to help mitigate some of my anxiety through exposure but I always doubt myself when taking the next step. Worst part is I keep putting it off. I think I'm gonna have to start trying harder though as it's quite literally do or die.

That's completely fair! It took that same realization within myself/hitting rock bottom with it to push me to make a change. It's hard to start for sure, but not so bad once you get momentum. But yeah you're right with the taking the next step part, I'm still guilty of procrastinating between bigger steps. I'm rooting for you!

 

[lachrymost]

It goes beyond social anxiety at this point. After years of damaging "treatment", in some ways it's worse than ever. Every moment is humiliation. I constantly struggle with which is worse: the terror of being known, or the terror of not being known.

 

[sserafim]

It goes beyond social anxiety at this point. After years of damaging "treatment", in some ways it's worse than ever. Every moment is humiliation. I constantly struggle with which is worse: the terror of being known, or the terror of not being known.

Wdym by "terror of not being known"? I would love to not be known. I like fading into the background and drawing as little attention to myself as possible. I would hate to be the center of attention or in the spotlight. I honestly wish I could be a ghost and that I didn't have to exist. I feel like a ghost enough already…

 

[TheSuicidalLlama]

i have vitiligo and has always made me feel so anxious in social situations even though it's not my fault. it has made me withdraw and has caused me a lot of self-steem issues. I wouldn't say social anxiety is the main reason i want to ctb but it's one of many.

 

[SketchedOut]

For me personally, I feel like a big reason why I have social anxiety is the fact that I lived in a really fucking shitty town where everyone treated each other like shit. And as I was a naive autistic child, I thought that if I treated everyone nicely, they'd somehow magically just think "hey you're a good person i should have some mercy towards you" and.. oh how fucking wrong i was...

Unsurprisingly, it just made me an easier target, and so I had to put up with 7 years of bullying and having no friends whatsoever, all while not really understanding why. Eventually I tried to take life into my own hands, and ended up transferring, which helped me a fuckton, but I still have a defacto phobia of going outside, no matter where I am.

With that said, while it is one of the reasons why I want to CTB, it's still nowhere near as major as some other things such as the fact that I was a victim of child neglect, my father practically pretended that neither me nor my mother existed, and so my mother had to take care of the whole house by herself. And the fact that my mother is still very emotionally immature, and I now live with her without my father, doesn't help either. I don't get why this happened, but it feels like she is just off the hook now that we moved out, constantly yelling at me for the smallest things while I'm already having a breakdown because I'm not able to function as a normal human being in society. This used to happen back when we lived with my father too, but not to this degree.

Oh fucking well... Tomorrow is gonna be my last attempt at taking my life into my own hands, because I have no idea what else I could do to get better and recover. And if my plan fails, then I'll just give up and start saving up for tickets.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd say it definitely plays a part for me. It has in many ways tainted how my life has turned out. There are jobs I would have gone for and jobs I would have been better at if I wasn't so socially anxious. That said- I don't have the desire to be around people. I don't actually feel lonely that much. If I could get by continuing to work and live at home on my own, that would go a fair way to stop me wanting to CTB. Part of the motivation to CTB is being forced back into the world to do another job that I'll likely hate.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't suffer from social anxiety although I spend most of my time at home and I'm not very active. My personal reasons / problems are different to this one.

 

[AlouA]

Same! just gonna share a piece of my story here.. I've always been socially anxious since as long as i can remember a kid.. but it got to a point where it's affecting my studies and fast forward at the present.. I've repeated year 12 because of it.. i hate myself, my parents are saying they're doing their best to help me out become "normal" again... I've always been like this but it was only this year that i had been diagnosed and was put on med (escitalopram).. ngl it helped me a bit but still i can't handle a lot of people that quickly!.. just imagine we're a group of 52 students in a single classroom and i had to find my own group within those people! since they already are close with each other given I'm a transferee and i had to take an absence for a month... I hate myself, i hate myself, I'm not even externally beautiful or that i have a good personality.. I couldn't even tend to myself because i have a lot of worries...

Social anxiety is the main reason why I feel like ending it all. I'm curious to see if it is for others as well.

 

[lachrymost]

Wdym by "terror of not being known"? I would love to not be known. I like fading into the background and drawing as little attention to myself as possible. I would hate to be the center of attention or in the spotlight. I honestly wish I could be a ghost and that I didn't have to exist. I feel like a ghost enough already…

Extremely valid and I understand, which is why I waffle about it all the time. I often feel like I have valuable shit to say (about the right to die, for instance), or at least that people should hear me out, and if I have to be alive then I would at least like to be appreciated. But then it's as you say—I don't want the spotlight, and even if I receive appreciation, all publicity is bad publicity. I almost always regret it eventually. How stupid of me! How narcissistic that I thought I had something to contribute, as if my mid intellect is worth jack shit. It isn't worth the ridicule I risk every time, especially when I have to steel myself for even so much as constructive criticism. I am far too sensitive for existence, and existing louder than necessary ends in heartbreak.

But I have to exist anyway, and I've already been embarrassed so thoroughly in the past, and I'm a sucker for the sunk cost fallacy. The government already knows too much about me. Hideously embarrassing medical records, photographs, emails, etc. exist and are associated with my sorry ass. I cannot unbirth myself, as much as I wish that were possible. And now someone is wrong on the internet (!), or I have a clever joke I can't help but want to air, and that siren song of possible validation fucking gets to me again. I must redeem myself somehow, it says. Not too long ago I never would have even considered posting on this or any other forum out of shyness. So I'm getting worse in this regard as I get closer to death and blissful obscurity.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm shy but most people don't notice that or simply misunderstand me. I have a hard time maintaining my gaze into people's eyes I'm talking to. It probably looks like I'm shady when actually it's shyness.

I am not socially anxious at all in spite of shyness. I've been successful in groups and done public speaking and had a lot of acceptance and I also have a don't care attitude towards the opinions of others. People don't believe me when I say I'm shy, aside from a few very aware individuals. I told my shrink I am shy and he was amazed.

 

[sensenmann]

I'm tired of trying to be nice to everyone and getting screwed over, I'm getting more and more hostile.