LucifersIntrovert

LucifersIntrovert

Buried Alive
Sep 10, 2023
53
For everyone that's sober… how's sobriety been? Whether it's been a day, a month, a year, it don't matter… And what's keeping you sober? Or why do you keep relapsing? Personally I'm 2 years sober from weed and about 2 months sober from SH, I'm just curious to see how yall are handling your selves and what battles you went through or are still going through.

(A stupid ass rant) Sobriety is a bitch I understand it, I went to a rehab center for 3 months and guess who the owner of the facility was… no other than my fucking father 😀 (I entered rehab at 17) and having all the other people there know my father and seeing them cuss his ass out was funny, but it was just so awkward and degrading because I know him seeing his son in there was shit and that's when my younger brother became the golden child as my parents still push me off knowing I'll commit one day because I've been placed on suicide watch in that facility and another occupational center in LA so im just a ticking time bomb to them at this point. I'm no longer a person to them I'm just a merely an object in the way I'm not trusted alone or with anyone anymore. Which has led me to pick up the blade in the past week and haven't had the courage to cut yet but I'm close because some other family issues 👍
 
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Reactions: reclaimedbynature and ForgottenTomb
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idonthaveanother

Member
Sep 13, 2023
52
Feeling your feelings is the worst part of sobriety. Unable to escape them with the medicine provided by doctors not helping enough. Being sober is a societal construct based on what's deemed acceptable by society as a whole. Why is it not okay for me to not be sober, if the alternative is suicide? Why can't I either dampen or escape the terrible feelings I have in a way that truly works vs what the doctors decide will work but really doesn't? Because society deemed it so, and lobbying by the pharmaceutical companies.

I've been sober for years in the past and recently for a number of months. The time I had with years was easy but this time it's actually a struggle because of what I'm going through in life. If I want to smoke a little weed vs ctb, what's the lesser evil?
 

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