Discussion So what WOULD you want someone to say to you?

[LeGuitarist]

Alright, so let's summarize why suicide hotlines and Reddit forums don't work for us: because pro-lifers tend to give cliche advice like "talking about it will help" or "just wait a week, you'll feel better then". I'll be the first to admit it: at one point in time, things like that used to actually help me. But alas, by this point in time, I've identified what those cliche phrases really are: meaningless words that people automatically spit out. Sure, it may help some people who aren't as suicidal as you or me, but needless to say, those things are nothing more than background noise to us now.

But that begs the question: what would you want someone to say to you? What words would be able to shake you out of your miserable existence enough to give life one more try? I'm aware there's no real answer to this question, otherwise therapists and hotlines would've discovered it long ago, but I'm just curious to see what some of the most suicidal people in this world would say. And if there's no words that would be able to convince you to live, what would you think would constitute as something not meaningless and cliche?

 

[$nowLeopard]

I truly don't know. Sometimes words really help me, but I have no idea they would've helped me beforehand
Like they say something that was out of the box for me. Maybe I'm just a really strict person (when it comes to thinking), probably complicated by brainfog

 

[LeGuitarist]

Sometimes words really help me, but I have no idea they would've helped me beforehand

Like what words?

Like they say something that was out of the box for me

Yeah, definitely. Anything abnormal and unorthodox tends to help me

 

[Romeo1984]

"Your wife is alive! Come pick her up at the hospital."

 

[$nowLeopard]

Like what words?

Personal experience with suicidality (from the person I'm talking with). It's one thing to hear online, completely different irl.
Esp from someone who's overcome it, and for me also it's much more meaningful if it comes from someone who's my own gender.

 

[newave3]

The only words I want to hear are from a medical professional telling me I had an incurable disease and I had one month to live. My reply to them would be "Thank you, I love you."

 

[Toonloon]

Tell me more.

That's fucked up funny.

You have an interesting story.

Can you explain that more?

 

[FuneralCry]

Nothing. No amount of words could make me feel better. There is nothing I want to hear. At this point, nothing would make me want to live.

To answer the second question, something that would not be meaningless/cliche, would be someone not saying pointless platitudes and trying to understand the situation.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

"Come back home. We miss you and need you here..."

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I do not really want anybody to say anything. No one can truly solve any issues that I have, and I do not want or expect them to try and solve them either. The only thing that I want others to do is listen; not to accuse, or shout, or belittle, or dismiss, but to just listen. I will not expect everybody to agree with my desire to end my life, at the same time though they could at least try to understand - constructively.

 

[Zzzzz]

There are no words that would make me feel better. Suicide hotlines are the same mentality of "I'll pray for you." It might give a tiny bit of temporary comfort but it'll never fix the problem.

 

[FreeZebra]

Nothing... Or take this Time Machine or you will dead now !

 

[forgotten15]

No words or actions could ever repair me or make me feel better. No one can help me, I am who I am. All I want is to dissappear.

 

[TheHatedOne]

My ex best friend telling me: ''I'm back, let's start it over'' ...

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

The perfect words are like a perfect dream during sleep; I don't know what it is or how it will be, but I will recognize it once I have it.

Best of luck.

 

[tardis]

I think the current system where they just listen non-judgmentally (supposedly) and let you talk is the best one. That's really all I can ask for.

Otherwise I don't want words. I want my real problems fixed but that would require a miracle.

The problem isn't with the hotlines themselves. It's the way they are used socially. For example, reddit has a bot that will look for keywords about suicide, and post a link and numbers to suicide hotlines. I find it insulting and it probably does more harm than good to suicidal people, but it makes normies feel good about themselves.