So sick and alone

[littleearthquakes]

My health is so bad and now I seem to be losing the ability to walk. I've already lost most basic human functions and I'm in horrible pain all the time. I won't go into detail, but I just lost a close friend in a dramatic way, and the partner I live with is emotionally abusive. Nobody can handle what I'm going through or hold any space for it or how hopeless and scared I feel. When I try to get support, it seems to just trigger fights and people lashing out at me and everything falling apart. I just want somebody to be there and listen that's all I want. Somebody who's not scared of me and doesn't punish me for having needs and doesn't push me away and doesn't make it about them. I want someone to understand how scary this is and how vulnerable I am and how bad this is and just be there for me. Or if not at least understand why I feel as hopeless as I do and want this to be over. I feel so alone. The pain is so bad I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to live like this or how to even relate to anybody anymore and I just seem to push everyone away.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer so much, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.