So many people with BPD here

[R_N]

I am diagnosed BPD also. It seems everyone and their mother is diagnosed Borderline these days or we are oversensitive people who naturally ended up in this place. I noticed people kinda glorify it here which I dislike. And because of my bad experience with psychiatry I seriously don't even believe in mental illnesses.

What do you think?

 

[Ghost2211]

BPD has a high risk factor for suicidal ideation. I can only assume this is because of the suffering that BPD causes, as well as the social consequences that are often caused by it and the unpleasantness of medications and treatment.

 

[S1mpleme]

I think if you ask, every psychiatrist will find mental illness in everyone. Especially when someone died by suicide, they will find some mental issue 100%.

BPD has a high risk factor for suicidal ideation. I can only assume this is because of the suffering that BPD causes, as well as the social consequences that are often caused by it and the unpleasantness of medications and treatment.

In my opinion people suffer cause of other people, BPD or anything else - that's caused by people. Society sucks. Nobody cares about you, just ask that stupid question "How are you?" with fake smile on his face. Depression? Suicidal? You're crazy, must go to psych ward and be forced to take medicine that unhumanise. People hurt then force you to act like life is beautiful.

 

[memataporfavor]

I am diagnosed BPD also. It seems everyone and their mother is diagnosed Borderline these days or we are oversensitive people who naturally ended up in this place. I noticed people kinda glorify it here which I dislike. And because of my bad experience with psychiatry I seriously don't even believe in mental illnesses.

What do you think?

My mom def has bpd she's a crazy fucker. living with her can be pure hell. In consequence, maybe bc of growing up w her, maybe bc of genetics maybe and probably both, I have also bpd. I do believe in this shit, cause I remember feeling an angst so great I couldnt explain when I was like 5-7 that I cried myself to sleep, and I remember feeling empty for a long long time of my life... My first time wanting to die was at 11 yrs old... With 14 I used to steal my mom's valium and take lots of it idk why, just to escape reality I guess. I started self harming before I even knew what that was... When I look back I realize all those things and compare to my friend's behaviours when they were little and its so different.... I'm not saying I had a bad childhood... I had a great one. When my mom is fine, she can be the best! The problem is when she gets mad...
Who glorifies bpd probably has never lived with anyone who has it or has never really suffered from it. This disorder is pure hell, it hurts so bad, it ruins all your relationships if you don't get treatment. It's so easy to give in to it and just destroy yourself... not just by straight suicide, but by all the addictions and destructive behaviours we can engage when impulsive...
Anyways there's a high rate of suicidal and self-destructive behaviour among those with bpd, that's prolly why you find so many ppl diagnosed with it in here.

 

[BPD Barbie]

As someone else said, BPD has probably the highest suicide rate of mental health conditions. I'm also Bipolar and having both of them is just..... Shoot me now tbh. Because of the high rate of suicide there are going to be more of us in one place that discusses the topic. It's also becoming more common, as are personality disorders in general as more people are pushed to talk about mental health these days, meaning more diagnosis will be made.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I am diagnosed BPD also. It seems everyone and their mother is diagnosed Borderline these days or we are oversensitive people who naturally ended up in this place. I noticed people kinda glorify it here which I dislike. And because of my bad experience with psychiatry I seriously don't even believe in mental illnesses.

What do you think?

My perspective...

I was relieved when I had a diagnosis (on a different axis) that explained why I was suffering and gave hope that there were tools to ease or stop my suffering. I had been invalidated by others for my behaviors, which is isolating, so connecting with others who have the same issues is mutually validating and decreases isolation. I can see how that could seem to be glorifying the diagnosis, especially if one rejects it.

Psychiatry and psychology are controlling. Like traditional medicine, they attempt to identify an issue by listing a group of presentations, of symptoms, and then label it. They pathologize behaviors without organic causes, which seem to be responses to pathological conditions, that is, coping traits that developed from long-term unreasonable situations that could not be coped with reasonably.

The labels are damning, such as BPD and other labels on the same axis, an axis that says the issue is is difficult if not impossible to treat, and implies that the person is difficult, if not impossible to treat. Minimizing, invalidating, and isolating a person makes them more controllable. Each axis isolates a group, each more "hopeless" and isolating than the next. Neither psychiatry nor psychology gives a solution to the label, yet they insist they have power over the person by creating the label and getting the person to agree it is valid, sometimes even enforcing them to comply even if they do not by saying the diagnosis indicates one does not have the capacity to agree or disagree.

I eventually stopped believing in and rejected psychiatry, the labels, the axes, and the control. I invalidated psychiatry and psychology, their authority over me, and their ability to control me....as long as I am not in their domains; a failed cbt attempt could put me in one, which makes them judicial, and it's frightening that they have such power. Suicide is a reasonable response to the unbearable and the hopeless, it is not a symptom in a pahology, it indicates a human capacity to solve problems.

That's what I think, for now.

 

[issyishere]

There are a lot of people here with conditions that make them more likely to ctb. another group of people that might be more pronounced on this forum are those with body dysmorphia. I personally have neither but I believe the reason was already stated in another answer. I'm not sure if this forum glorifies the condition though. If it does I have yet to see it.

 

[R_N]

My perspective...

I was relieved when I had a diagnosis (on a different axis) that explained why I was suffering and gave hope that there were tools to ease or stop my suffering. I had been invalidated by others for my behaviors, which is isolating, so connecting with others who have the same issues is mutually validating and decreases isolation. I can see how that could seem to be glorifying the diagnosis, especially if one rejects it.

Psychiatry and psychology are controlling. Like traditional medicine, they attempt to identify an issue by listing a group of presentations, of symptoms, and then label it. They pathologize behaviors without organic causes, which seem to be responses to pathological conditions, that is, coping traits that developed from long-term unreasonable situations that could not be coped with reasonably.

The labels are damning, such as BPD and other labels on the same axis, an axis that says the issue is is difficult if not impossible to treat, and implies that the person is difficult, if not impossible to treat. Minimizing, invalidating, and isolating a person makes them more controllable. Each axis isolates a group, each more "hopeless" and isolating than the next. Neither psychiatry nor psychology gives a solution to the label, yet they insist they have power over the person by creating the label and getting the person to agree it is valid, sometimes even enforcing them to comply even if they do not by saying the diagnosis indicates one does not have the capacity to agree or disagree.

I eventually stopped believing in and rejected psychiatry, the labels, the axes, and the control. I invalidated psychiatry and psychology, their authority over me, and their ability to control me....as long as I am not in their domains; a failed cbt attempt could put me in one, which makes them judicial, and it's frightening that they have such power. Suicide is a reasonable response to the unbearable and the hopeless, it is not a symptom in a pahology, it indicates a human capacity to solve problems.

That's what I think, for now.

Did you manage to escape psychiatry without consequences? Meds ruined me so much I doubt I can recover enough to want to live.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Did you manage to escape psychiatry without consequences? Meds ruined me so much I doubt I can recover enough to want to live.

I am not aware of any long-term consequences, but I have seen them in many others. Antipsychotics provided no benefits, only problems. Other medicines eventually lost their effectiveness. Therapy did give me tools, and I did heal some PTSD. I had to make therapy serve me, not serve the modalities.

 

[porfin1234]

BPD here. I've spent thousands on psychiatrists, hospitalizations, and rehabilitation centers.

But according to my ex and everyone else I never really tried or listen.

They are right. I finally started to do what I needed to last year but then destroyed everything. I also got involved with someone I shouldn't have but other than that I was kicking ass. I was still overly sensitive however and cried at the drop of a hat.

So I'm worse off than I was before now that I'm at a job I'm pretty sure will be my last in my career. And am even considering cutting myself after all these years and drinking because I really need to just kill myself and be done with it.

I see now the error of my ways of thinking and reacting. My hobbies, meditation, and spirituality helped. But I don't want to do it anymore because I no career to me is no future worth living.

Now I understand that I've been selfish and so caught up in my head and emotions that I've been blind to reality.

 

[S1mpleme]

Just googled BPD symptoms - basically all the emotions that humans have. So why this is illness? Like if I'm sad or angry then I have mental problem?

 

[homebound]

people with BPD have high suicide risks so it makes sense that quite a bit of people with it would be found here. i think *certain* mental illnesses are DEFINITELY over diagnosed, or others misdiagnosed. i haven't been here long so I can't say anything about it being glorified, but I usually see people online demonize those with BPD (stigmatizing them as abusive, manipulative, etc).

Just googled BPD symptoms - basically all the emotions that humans have. So why this is illness? Like if I'm sad or angry then I have mental problem?

BPD is more than being "sad" or "angry", and it definitely deals with a lot more than just emotions

 

[S1mpleme]

people with BPD have high suicide risks so it makes sense that quite a bit of people with it would be found here. i think *certain* mental illnesses are DEFINITELY over diagnosed, or others misdiagnosed. i haven't been here long so I can't say anything about it being glorified, but I usually see people online demonize those with BPD (stigmatizing them as abusive, manipulative, etc).



BPD is more than being "sad" or "angry", and it definitely deals with a lot more than just emotions

Can you tell me more please?

 

[Secrets1]

Can you tell me more please?

To sum it up in 1 word: dramatic. There seems to be a subconscious need for constant stimulation followed by burnout. Rapidly cycling bipolar feels like an appropriate clinical description.

I can get swept away by the best or worst circumstances and vacillate between them multiple times per day. A literal emotional rollercoaster without brakes. The smallest thing can turn my day around, only to be turned around a few more times. Lack of trust in others has lead to the development of a perceptive intuition that's created opportunities and great, unique experiences in my life. Rifts in important relationships make my whole world crumble. As do my own imperfections when not living up to self imposed unrealistic expectations. The end result is cycling self sabotage, disappointment, deep self hatred and desire to escape the fuck up that you are, the destruction and pain you've created.

Everyone always tells me my potential is through the roof. They're right. What they don't understand is how debilitating it is to know that's true yet shoot yourself in the foot repeatedly as if it were an addiction. Eventually you lose hope

 

[porfin1234]

Can you tell me more please?

My experience which isnt same as everyone's...

intense emotions over smallest things, can feel it in body like rush,crying over smallest things, obsessing over people's intentions If they like you or not, being easily offended and hurt even just by facial expressions (gotten better at it), extreme fits of rage, any time I feel slighted or attacked I often have knee jerk reaction and turn into megabitch, having moments of feeling extremely empty and numb and wanting to fill void somehow ..
I used to self mutilare but don't anymore because of extreme emotions and needed release plus always feel like I need to be punished for being evil, etc

one moment idealizing someone and the next demonizing them or being unsure of them

black white thinking
I wonder if my delusions and magical thinking is part of it too
I just feel like Child in grown ass woman's body.

tendency to personalize everything make it about me...

I honestly don't know how real personality disorders are as for me anyway. Maybe I just need to "grow up"

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

BPD is also hereditary a lot of the time, high rate of suicide? I believe 1 in 10, so decent chance a parent will, leading you (daughter/son) down the rabbit hole with BPD rearing it's head and now being with your parent again is all you want.

 

[Squiddy]

As someone else said, BPD has probably the highest suicide rate of mental health conditions. I'm also Bipolar and having both of them is just..... Shoot me now tbh. Because of the high rate of suicide there are going to be more of us in one place that discusses the topic. It's also becoming more common, as are personality disorders in general as more people are pushed to talk about mental health these days, meaning more diagnosis will be made.

I also have bipolar and it's hell having both conditions

 

[homebound]

Can you tell me more please?

derealization, dissociation, impulsive behaviors, unstable relationships, splitting, these are just to name a few

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Curious thought... my suicidal thoughts/actions I've taken and hesitation for kids, honestly has been me thinking if giving my child BPD or me succumbing to the stress of parental responsibilities is worth it. My father went the OD route so I feel there would just be a possibility of creating another "me". Don't pass the torch for once possibly. Anyone else?

 

[LegaliseIt!]

My experience which isnt same as everyone's...

intense emotions over smallest things, can feel it in body like rush,crying over smallest things, obsessing over people's intentions If they like you or not, being easily offended and hurt even just by facial expressions (gotten better at it), extreme fits of rage, any time I feel slighted or attacked I often have knee jerk reaction and turn into megabitch, having moments of feeling extremely empty and numb and wanting to fill void somehow ..
I used to self mutilare but don't anymore because of extreme emotions and needed release plus always feel like I need to be punished for being evil, etc

one moment idealizing someone and the next demonizing them or being unsure of them

black white thinking
I wonder if my delusions and magical thinking is part of it too
I just feel like Child in grown ass woman's body.

tendency to personalize everything make it about me...

I honestly don't know how real personality disorders are as for me anyway. Maybe I just need to "grow up"

I have known since I was a child that I am "not quite right".
Your description of your experience completely nailed it!
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 55 years old, and I have generated chaos for at least 50 of those years.
Do I glorify my diagnosis? No.
But I absolutely know that I don't want to live like this beyond the loose ends that I have to tie up.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

My experience which isnt same as everyone's...

intense emotions over smallest things, can feel it in body like rush,crying over smallest things, obsessing over people's intentions If they like you or not, being easily offended and hurt even just by facial expressions (gotten better at it), extreme fits of rage, any time I feel slighted or attacked I often have knee jerk reaction and turn into megabitch, having moments of feeling extremely empty and numb and wanting to fill void somehow ..
I used to self mutilare but don't anymore because of extreme emotions and needed release plus always feel like I need to be punished for being evil, etc

one moment idealizing someone and the next demonizing them or being unsure of them

black white thinking
I wonder if my delusions and magical thinking is part of it too
I just feel like Child in grown ass woman's body.

tendency to personalize everything make it about me...

I honestly don't know how real personality disorders are as for me anyway. Maybe I just need to "grow up"

It's scary that I didn't type that (besides me being a dude), hit the nail on the head...

I have a question though because I wonder myself... can we help it?? I feel horrible about things at times, especially toward my gf, but to me "I can't help it" the emotions come on so intense. I just feel like it's either me or people who can't relate are the only ones that may call that a crutch.

 

[porfin1234]

It's scary that I didn't type that (besides me being a dude), hit the nail on the head...

I have a question though because I wonder myself... can we help it?? I feel horrible about things at times, especially toward my gf, but to me "I can't help it" the emotions come on so intense. I just feel like it's either me or people who can't relate are the only ones that may call that a crutch.

You know, I think the emotions themselves being intense could maybe just be how it is- it's a matter of how we manage it. I think it takes a ton of practice and inner work to do which I didn't really commit to until last year.. And it wasn't enough. It takes time and I've heard of people no longer matching the criteria. I mean with facial expressions and taking things personally now I just ask or I my head say "ok I am interpreting this face as aggressive /angry.. check in with person"
Or "I notice I'm making this about me" ..
It's the rationalizing of destructive behavior that I need to watch for.
thing is now I have the "well I destroyed everything anyway and willkill my self for real this time" mentality which, scares me because I don't know if I can actually do it and will have to now live with consequences

in the past I've been given tons of tools (DBT) but didn't use them consistently until last year (and even then failed to many times) so... yea.

 

[S1mpleme]

But all these things have almost everyone, including me. I am impulsive, sad, angry, today I'm crying and tomorrow laughing, and many many other things happen to me. Is that mean I'm crazy? I have mental problem? Just because of that I have to numb my feelings with psych meds? If so, then who is completely healthy men? Unemotional iron-wood human?

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

You know, I think the emotions themselves being intense could maybe just be how it is- it's a matter of how we manage it. I think it takes a ton of practice and inner work to do which I didn't really commit to until last year.. And it wasn't enough. It takes time and I've heard of people no longer matching the criteria. I mean with facial expressions and taking things personally now I just ask or I my head say "ok I am interpreting this face as aggressive /angry.. check in with person"
Or "I notice I'm making this about me" ..
It's the rationalizing of destructive behavior that I need to watch for.
thing is now I have the "well I destroyed everything anyway and willkill my self for real this time" mentality which, scares me because I don't know if I can actually do it and will have to now live with consequences

in the past I've been given tons of tools (DBT) but didn't use them consistently until last year (and even then failed to many times) so... yea.

Yeah, I mean I have gotten better overall, but it's still there. Haldol helped me a lot, made me not so paranoid and suspicious of people, but the sides were not very good. I'm about to start some therapy though actually, I've resented the VA and doctors because they get tired of me and hand me off a lot lol I'm so special, I know :) plus I about had a stroke tapering off of benzos there all because they wanted to do was speed up the process a bit and then assumed drug seeking behavior, so I was forgotten about pretty much.

 

[porfin1234]

But all these things have almost everyone, including me. I am impulsive, sad, angry, today I'm crying and tomorrow laughing, and many many other things happen to me. Is that mean I'm crazy? I have mental problem? Just because of that I have to numb my feelings with psych meds? If so, then who is completely healthy men? Unemotional iron-wood human?

I mean...when you crash your car head on into a tree out of anger, drink on the side of the road in an attempt to jump in front of semi to die, tear pictures of your mom who died because you're angry, scream at the top of your lungs at your psychiatrist because she did not tell you the appointment was via zoom and not in person, tell friends to fuck off and insult them just to run back to them because they were worried about a suicide note you wrote, and cut yourself with a razor because you're so upset.. yea then you need help (personal examples)

It's not just about having emotions. It's how you cope with them and the stories in your head that you tell yourself that then cause you to behave in certain ways.

Although my psychiatrist said she felt it wasn't so much BPD but ADD that was my problem. Lol. Who that hell knows. Labels smables. It's all about emotion, thought, action. If it's destructive- something has to change, or your life will suck ass and it will affect those around you.

 

[S1mpleme]

I mean...when you crash your car head on into a tree out of anger, drink on the side of the road in an attempt to jump in front of semi to die, tear pictures of your mom who died because you're angry, scream at the top of your lungs at your psychiatrist because she did not tell you the appointment was via zoom and not in person, tell friends to fuck off and insult them just to run back to them because they were worried about a suicide note you wrote, and cut yourself with a razor because you're so upset.. yea then you need help (personal examples)

It's not just about having emotions. It's how you cope with them and the stories in your head that you tell yourself that then cause you to behave in certain ways.

Well, I do have something, but not exactly everything you wrote. I think it just different to everyone. I do have pics in my head about bad and good things, sometimes when I talk to a dump ass he makes me mad so I want to crash everything around me. Sometimes I feel good emotions, that I want to hug or kiss someone, I don't care who's that, even if my enemy. But these are my emotions, this is all I have. I would never go to psychiatrist and take meds because of this. I don't want to be a robot.

 

[Final Escape]

Borderline personality disorder is basically just another way to say u had been mistreated in your early development. You were traumatized, it's basically complex ptsd. It's more common because we no longer care how kids are treated. When there was focus on marriage before kids and encouragement to put the child's needs ahead of the parents it was far less common. When most women had to be married prior to pregnancy they knew there was a provider so they could stay home and focus on caring for the child. Once they encouraged women into careers and working it made it so kids now are raised by other people more.

This causes attachment problems and more stress for the infant if they are separated too much from mom in the first few years of life. So yea if your mother sees u as an inconvenience and can't attach or care for u properly in those first few years it's catastrophic to your development in your ability to form secure attachments later on. The government began to subsidize single mothers, marriage breakup, for the last 50 years and this is why there is so much more mental illness and increase in risk of abuse on kids. Also around this time they legalized abortion which if a woman has an abortion and then gets pregnant again it harms her ability to bond future children. My mother had an abortion before I was conceived which probably brought up the trauma of that first abortion making it harder to bond.

 

[Alec]

Have it too. I don't think people glorify it here thought. I do believe in mental illnesses. And no I don't think I'm being too sensitive. Although I gotta admit sometimes I doubt myself and hate myself so much that I just think "maybe I'm just overreacting, or being too sensitive" but the truth is, I'm not. Because we are all different as human beings and we feel in different ways towards things. I feel differently towards things, differently from most people it seems, but it doesn't mean it's less valid! My pain, no matter how deep it is, or if it is about something that somebody else would be ok with, it's STILL VALID! I'm ok with things that other might not be, others feel ok with things I don't feel ok with. We are all different, and some of us feel very deeply. It's still valid, just because others feel differently doesn't mean we should force ourselves to feel the same way, or pretend we are like them. We are who we are, and we feel what we feel!❤

Borderline personality disorder is basically just another way to say u had been mistreated in your early development. You were traumatized, it's basically complex ptsd. It's more common because we no longer care how kids are treated. When there was focus on marriage before kids and encouragement to put the child's needs ahead of the parents it was far less common. When most women had to be married prior to pregnancy they knew there was a provider so they could stay home and focus on caring for the child. Once they encouraged women into careers and working it made it so kids now are raised by other people more.

This causes attachment problems and more stress for the infant if they are separated too much from mom in the first few years of life. So yea if your mother sees u as an inconvenience and can't attach or care for u properly in those first few years it's catastrophic to your development in your ability to form secure attachments later on. The government began to subsidize single mothers, marriage breakup, for the last 50 years and this is why there is so much more mental illness and increase in risk of abuse on kids. Also around this time they legalized abortion which if a woman has an abortion and then gets pregnant again it harms her ability to bond future children. My mother had an abortion before I was conceived which probably brought up the trauma of that first abortion making it harder to bond.

I think you are wrong and went into a sexist place with this one. I think people in general care about treatment of kids way more now than they did before. They definitely do! Are you kidding? There's even more attention on mental health of kids now.
plus funny how you said that it's bad that women are encouraged to work so they don't spend enough time with kids so it causes relationship issues. What about fathers? They always worked and it was socially excepted for a father not be involved in upbringing of a child almost at all, that didn't cause any relationship problems for a child?
I'm not trying to jump at your throat here, I don't know you enough to call you a sexist, but what you said has a lot of things wrong with it, in a sexist way as well. And I can't even write every single way that wrong about it cuz I have a splitting headache and am barely writing this right now.
Edit: I also wanted to add that it sounds like you are trying to say that people should stay married even if they are miserable together and nobody should encourage divorce and the government shouldn't help divorced parents because it encourages divorce too. Which is insane in itself. But also, children of parents who force themselves to stay together, especially when they do it for the child, get damaged even more than children of divorced parents ever could. Because then children start blaming themselves for their parents misery and they see their parents fighting and being unhappy every single day, it's a horrible environment to grow up in. It also sounded like you are trying to say that abortion should be illegal, which is just sickening. Having an abortion doesn't prevent a person from bonding with their future kids, personal trauma that comes from people that say that abortion is murder is what can cause it happen. Or it just depends on a person, don't try to make illegal abortion for everyone because it went a certain way for you and your mother, everyone else are not you and your mother they should have the right to make that decision for themselves!

 

[BPD Barbie]

Can you tell me more please?

 

[porfin1234]

View attachment 25485

So good. Spot on. Sometimes in a day lol.