So Fucking Desperate I Feel Bad For Myself

[Fly🦋]

With all my mental illness's there's no other places where I can be supported like on here. I am somewhat young so I still live with my parents. They know all about the 'I want to die' shit so they're careful not to buy stuff like rope I can hang myself with or anything. I need SN because that's how I want to kill myself. It's somehow seemingly a beautiful death. I don't know exactly how i am going to get the SN but I got some really fucked up ideas:
Steal from a store (and risk getting caught and get in trouble for shoplifting)
Ask my birth mom who has bipolar depression and ask if she has any SN (and risk her snitching to my mom about it)
Ask my friends who's parents are depressed if they have any SN they can steal for me (and risk them getting caught or them snitching to the guidance counselor)
Wow, I am desperate. I literally have no shame though.
Anyone else have any better ideas?

 

[2211264]

Just Send it to your local post office. "your name", "Care of" "Post office name" then address of post office.

 

[Fly🦋]

Just Send it to your local post office. "your name", "Care of" "Post office name" then address of post office.

My parents literally won't let me go anywhere by myself. I'm in a prison.

 

[Schadenfreude]

My parents literally won't let me go anywhere by myself. I'm in a prison.

Yo, same here. Although they have every reason to and not to. Sick of my mother's suffocating, controlling demeanor and being caged up.

 

[charlottewilts]

i'm not very familiar with US laws, but shouldn't you be able to buy it at 18? if you have to wait until 21 like you do for alcohol, maybe just ask someone else to buy it for you? if not a friend, just ask someone else in the store, i highly doubt they'd steal it from you. or as has been mentioned above, ask about poste restante at your post office.

but i dunno i read a few of your posts and i was in almost the same situation when i was your age (being FtM, eating disorder, BPD, depression), i think these are all things that can be resolved with the right mindset and a support system, the latter of which you seem to have and the former which you can acquire with some work. i obviously don't and can't know the entire story, but you should really get counselling first, or talk with your friends if you can't do that, or pray if you're religious. if you've been feeling depressed for under a year, don't rush into it. there will always be a way out, so why not try to enjoy life if you still can?

 

[Despondent]

I've shoplifted before and I think it may be your best bet? If they don't have alarms

 

[PwincessStepford]

i'm not very familiar with US laws, but shouldn't you be able to buy it at 18? if you have to wait until 21 like you do for alcohol, maybe just ask someone else to buy it for you? if not a friend, just ask someone else in the store, i highly doubt they'd steal it from you. or as has been mentioned above, ask about poste restante at your post office.

but i dunno i read a few of your posts and i was in almost the same situation when i was your age (being FtM, eating disorder, BPD, depression), i think these are all things that can be resolved with the right mindset and a support system, the latter of which you seem to have and the former which you can acquire with some work. i obviously don't and can't know the entire story, but you should really get counselling first, or talk with your friends if you can't do that, or pray if you're religious. if you've been feeling depressed for under a year, don't rush into it. there will always be a way out, so why not try to enjoy life if you still can?

I bought mine off of Etsy, and there was no proof of age required.