so drunk rn. gonna ctb tonight

[bunnii]

Well, this is my goodbye, hopefully. I'm pretty drunk off ciroc rn. gonna hang myself lol
its my bday today (happy fucking 19th to me) and I really don't want to do this anymore. there's nothing you can say to stop me. had a wonderful month spending time with those I love but now it's time to go. gonna try full suspension tonight. I am pretty confident about where my carotids are. gonna use the staircase or a door, depending on which works better. I love you all so much. this forum is honestly godsent. If my attempt doesn't work, ill be replying tmr. see you on the other side my friends!

 

[hunterthompson]

I know I'm a stranger but maybe this is a choice you should make when you're not really drunk. If you come to that decision again with a clear mind then so be it.

I wouldn't want anyone to make a mistake because of alcohol.

We'll be here for you regardless. If you do decide to do it tonight I hope your pain is no longer.

 

[leeloosnow]

I am so sorry life has been this cruel to you. Glad you got to spend some time with friends and enjoying yourself. I've read some of ur other posts and very sorry for your struggles, hurts my heart. All the best for a safe journey no matter your destination. Big hugs and much love <3

 

[Outandproud]

Theres no going back from full suspension kid. Hope you are 100 % sure.

 

[missingpeace]

Please be weary that anchor and knots need to be secure, no one should be around to save you or you just might fail.. are you sure you want to do it in this state? All the best to you if you do, may have a peaceful transition.

 

[bunnii]

Well, I'm still here. I was seriously drunk last night and made too much noise getting things ready. I woke up my boyfriend rustling around and puking everywhere. I thought if I got really drunk it would help with the SI, but I could barely even tie my knots. He's, of course, upset with me, but he doesn't want me getting locked up so he didn't call the cops. Thank god. Next time I'm gonna hold off on the alcohol and weed, and wait for the snow to thaw so I can do this shit outside and not be interrupted. I'm just so frustrated that I'm now past my planned expiry date. Gonna drink some more and maybe cut too. Still love you guys xx

 

[HerculePoirot]

In which timezone are you?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well, I'm still here. I was seriously drunk last night and made too much noise getting things ready. I woke up my boyfriend rustling around and puking everywhere. I thought if I got really drunk it would help with the SI, but I could barely even tie my knots. He's, of course, upset with me, but he doesn't want me getting locked up so he didn't call the cops. Thank god. Next time I'm gonna hold off on the alcohol and weed, and wait for the snow to thaw so I can do this shit outside and not be interrupted. I'm just so frustrated that I'm now past my planned expiry date. Gonna drink some more and maybe cut too. Still love you guys xx

I'm sorry your birthday wasn't apparently a good one. Would you like to share some kore about what you have been struggling with?

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel so frustrated that you are still here but at least you didn't end up in some kind of awful psych ward. I certainly do believe that it's for the best to plan to ctb somewhere where there is no chance of being interrupted, as to me it sounds so horrific being found too early and failing ctb as such a thing would only lead to more suffering. That is exactly what I fear.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

My first attempt was while very Very drunk. Never a good idea, especially when you wake up with a killer hangover, feeling like death but very much alive and trying to remember what you did/said thinking it doesn't matter because you won't have to face anyone you insulted ever again...