So boring and unlovable

[Bleak]

I wish I at least had interesting things to say to give some sense of worth amidst unceasing pain and loathing. I can't connect to people at all, can't feel interested in them or if I am then I don't want to inflict my awfulness on them. My mind is growing completely dull due to physical problems but I remain aware enough to be distressed by it. I have no point to make in writing this and sorry to whoever wasted time reading it. I just have no other way to distract from pain sitting here sleepless at midnight.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've grown incredibly dull.

 

[lonewolf22]

At least there is consolation to be had from knowing your aren't alone in feeling this way. Kinda strange how we derive comfort from knowing someone is just as miserable as we are. Your post describes me to a T OP. No time wasted in reading your thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am extremely boring, I have nothing to say and I cannot relate to others at all, I understand. I live an very empty existence like I have already died. In my case I want nothing to do with life and I cannot stand people. I'm sorry you are going through this. Life is very horrible.. I wish you the best.

 

[HappyPotato]

I'm really boring. all I do is lay in bed and go on my phone. no hobbies. I just wanna be gone. i don't relate to others. I don't understand people and socializing. no one talks to me. I'm a terrible person that no one likes. never really had close friends growing up.

 

[meloku]

When I was younger I always felt boring and had friends telling me that because I didn't talk that much. I hated it but when I got older I realized they are kinda boring themself, they just have more confidence and a bigger ego.

 

[Marktheghost]

You don't need to apologize. It wasn't a waste of time reading it.

 

[Painless_end]

You are absolutely not alone as you can see. Reading this wasn't boring.

Take care of yourself and if you don't want to interact with anyone, try writing your thoughts here like the rest of us do.

 

[Harriet]

I wish I at least had interesting things to say to give some sense of worth amidst unceasing pain and loathing. I can't connect to people at all, can't feel interested in them or if I am then I don't want to inflict my awfulness on them. My mind is growing completely dull due to physical problems but I remain aware enough to be distressed by it. I have no point to make in writing this and sorry to whoever wasted time reading it. I just have no other way to distract from pain sitting here sleepless at midnight.

Please don't underestimate yourself or your contribution to people here. You've shown your value even just by posting that, and making others who feel the same way you do less alone.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I wish I at least had interesting things to say to give some sense of worth amidst unceasing pain and loathing. I can't connect to people at all, can't feel interested in them or if I am then I don't want to inflict my awfulness on them. My mind is growing completely dull due to physical problems but I remain aware enough to be distressed by it. I have no point to make in writing this and sorry to whoever wasted time reading it. I just have no other way to distract from pain sitting here sleepless at midnight.

I feel this way quite often and much of it has to do with my own isolation. My logic is 'if I'm alone...it must be because I am repulsive.'

I'm trying to warp it as the opposite. Maybe we have not found the right people? Maybe they are repulsive to us. Perhaps on a subconscious level if we are not aware.

 

[cambrai33]

I wish I at least had interesting things to say to give some sense of worth amidst unceasing pain and loathing. I can't connect to people at all, can't feel interested in them or if I am then I don't want to inflict my awfulness on them. My mind is growing completely dull due to physical problems but I remain aware enough to be distressed by it. I have no point to make in writing this and sorry to whoever wasted time reading it. I just have no other way to distract from pain sitting here sleepless at midnight.

Yes I am really annoyed reading this!

Because clearly you are a good caring person who has found them self in a pretty shit place and blames themselves for it. Stop apologising for being who you are. The emotionally dominant part of your mind is calling all of the shots right now but the logical side is still there somewhere.

If you haven't asked for help then please do it. It's everyone's right to ctb but the absolute finality of it means you owe it to yourself to try and get fixed where logic dominates negative emotion. Of course you might never be totally fixed but you could get to a place where life is tolerable and you start to like yourself again even if it's just a little bit.

Always keep talking and don't apologise, most of us are in a similar place

 

[Snake of Eden]

No one is willing to validate those who are unable to find love. It is so much unfair to admit that some people are going to come to this world alone, stay alone and leave alone. It is a big slap in the face to get told by people who once you loved that there is someone else waiting for you and it is just not "them". I hate existing like this. Are we just supposed to throw ourselves around just for somebody to take us wether we like them or not? People who have no problem finding partners feel guilty for their luck and want to lie to themselves and others that everyone has some kind of a soul mate. Preposterous

 

[ikadasui]

No one is willing to validate those who are unable to find love. It is so much unfair to admit that some people are going to come to this world alone, stay alone and leave alone. It is a big slap in the face to get told by people who once you loved that there is someone else waiting for you and it is just not "them". I hate existing like this. Are we just supposed to throw ourselves around just for somebody to take us wether we like them or not? People who have no problem finding partners feel guilty for their luck and want to lie to themselves and others that everyone has some kind of a soul mate. Preposterous

Exactly. It's a special kind of agony knowing you'll be alone and most people just "tolerate you", but don't mind at all when you're gone and probably like it better that way. I've been living this kind of thing all my life and now it's completely broke me. I can't deal with the fact my gf is gone and has already moved on, we are still friends but I see her with others having a wonderful time and even though I'm happy she's doing well I feel like I'm being ripped apart with ice picks

 

[Julgran]

This is very relatable. The question is: how do we get to not feel unloveable or bad if we never get the change to love or be loved? Various successes in life built upon previous successes, so it's hard to catch up with other people who may have accomlished things that you wish for.

 

[Snake of Eden]

how do we get to not feel unloveable or bad if we never get the change to love or be loved?

it seems for some of us we just have to settle for the fact that we are unloveable maybe it is what we are after all. Just t
He way we and our circumstances make us unattractive. I realize for people who find it easy to find partners they dont want to believe that such a thing exists. It will make them feel too uncomfortable with the fact that what makes them attractive is sheer luck. Good health, good genes/looks not born with mental or social limitations that deem them awkward. For these people ultimately they are loved for what they have and not for their essence because we are all equal in that and it is too painful to know you are not essentially better or more deserving of love than any ugly awkward person out there

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I know how you feel, and I'm sorry you're feeling it. I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain. I hope you'll find more ways to distract yourself

 

[smikey23]

hmmm. sounds like possible clinical depression. i am not an expert - but it does exist you know. although not a big fan of psychiatry, you might consider talking with an MP and getting on something that will help you feel more "attached" to this world - i have taken them, and they do help; although this is not an answer to your existential dilemma (nothing is). another alternative would be finding a cause that you are passionate about, joining it, and helping with whatever gifts you have been blessed with (we all have something to offer). you might just meet other's that share your passion. i have made several friends this way without even trying, and i don't consider myself that fascinating of person either, but people like others that share similar passions. you sound like you need a friend. they are out there - go find them!

 

[FadingSunshine]

I'm dull, but I don't think of it as a fault. It's who I am, and I accept it about myself. Others can take it or leave it, I don't care what their opinions are (at least I try not to care).