Venting So awful

[willitpass]

My heart is racing and I can feel it beating in my chest and my stomach and even my back. I'm so weak and I've been unable to walk in a straight line. I'm having to work a bit harder to breathe. My mouth is so dry and I'm a bit nauseous despite having nothing in my stomach and even throwing up on an empty stomach middle of the night. The body aches are still there but honestly they're being covered up by all the other symptoms. My lips are white, my eyes are pale, my hands and feet and purple and cold. I think I'm extremely anemic and dehydrated. It feels so awful. I lost two pounds of water weight over night. Somehow I had a good pee this morning but I'm not even sure where my body got that much fluid from. I'm so shaky and weak. I feel like I could pass out at any moment.

 

[Ash]

On the one hand I totally get why you're doing what you're doing. On the other, from a completely selfish POV as I like the version of you that you are on this forum, given where you work, I'm furious with your colleagues for not seeing what's going on. I want someone to scoop you up and look after you. Even though that's totally against why you're on here. And it's not about me, anyway. But I absolutely hate that you're suffering. Even though you think you deserve it.

 

[willitpass]

On the one hand I totally get why you're doing what you're doing. On the other, from a completely selfish POV as I like the version of you that you are on this forum, given where you work, I'm furious with your colleagues for not seeing what's going on. I want someone to scoop you up and look after you. Even though that's totally against why you're on here. And it's not about me, anyway. But I absolutely hate that you're suffering. Even though you think you deserve it.

I could say the same about you. I hate how much you've been suffering as well.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. You don't deserve this. Life is often so unfair.

 

[Ash]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. You don't deserve this. Life is often so unfair.

Slightly off topic but for once my eyesight isn't blurry and I now know that what I thought was a mountain emoji is actually two blue people hugging. It makes a lot more sense now.

 

[soleil]

Saw your other post, is the staggered overdose or limited fluid causing this or are you doing that because of other health issues?

 

[willitpass]

Since my progress was set back today I'm determined to start again tomorrow. I'm still having many of the symptoms so hopefully it was just a bit of a metabolism boost and nothing much of a set back. I was so dehydrated and lost so much blood today anyway that hopefully the fluid intake is still not far from a net even and I can easily get back into a net negative. My back is in a ton of pain right now.