SN's racing heart side effect seems to be ubiquitous among the users here who have had the courage to CTB with SN. I find this to be unacceptable.

[Chronicillness]

Anyone else here feel the same way?

One of the main reasons I want to CTB is because I have **horrific** dysautonomia symptoms that leave me bedridden for most of the day. A lot of these symptoms involve my heart. A racing heart isn't a foreign occurence for me, it's so common that I have become brutally sensitized to it. I fear my heart, and the lack of control I have over my heart. So despite SN being a viable method for most, it doesn't present itself that way for me.

I often wonder how some of the users here have had the courage to CTB with SN. Is it because I know the hells of an extremely high heart rate (that takes my breath away—literally) all too well? Or is it because I have yet to cross the line of true desperation?

I know the beggars can't be choosers, but this is our final arc in life. I want to have control over something in my life for once. I want to go peacefully, without fear or overwhelming survival instincts. I never want to feel my heart racing ever again if possible. My heart has tortured me enough in my life. I don't want to experience such a torturous symptom in my final moments.

I'm in a pinch right now with my myriad of medical conditions and need to start putting in the effort to source a peaceful CTB method.

 

[Carina]

I can see how that can be troubling to you. Obviously if you choose to ctb, you can choose different methods.


But from my perspective I'm fortunate to have a med that lower my pulse/bp given for migraines. I know what quantity of them leads me to be dizzy, falling into walls, not being able to feel a pulse, and medical professionals not being able to find a pulse (which is fun--had one place once say "we know you're not dead because you're talking" because no one could find it). But to me, I just have the thought of any possible discomfort at that point will be so temporary, so brief, and I won't even remember it. I'd probably be so far out of it, I wouldn't even notice, or even think of it.

And again, to me, choosing when, how, the date, etc is the control I want. Side effects of the method? that's not really a concern to me.

But like I said, I can totally get how when you have heart things that troubled you in life, you wouldn't want that to continue as you head toward your last moments.

From what I've read, seen, etc, there are very limited quick, painless methods. And fortunately (and yet unfortunately), there's no way to tell what happens once you lose consciousness.


Are you at the point though? Only you would know that.

You might want to research heart with other methods you've considered if any too.

 

[Chronicillness]

I can see how that can be troubling to you. Obviously if you choose to ctb, you can choose different methods.


But from my perspective I'm fortunate to have a med that lower my pulse/bp given for migraines. I know what quantity of them leads me to be dizzy, falling into walls, not being able to feel a pulse, and medical professionals not being able to find a pulse (which is fun--had one place once say "we know you're not dead because you're talking" because no one could find it). But to me, I just have the thought of any possible discomfort at that point will be so temporary, so brief, and I won't even remember it. I'd probably be so far out of it, I wouldn't even notice, or even think of it.

And again, to me, choosing when, how, the date, etc is the control I want. Side effects of the method? that's not really a concern to me.

But like I said, I can totally get how when you have heart things that troubled you in life, you wouldn't want that to continue as you head toward your last moments.

From what I've read, seen, etc, there are very limited quick, painless methods. And fortunately (and yet unfortunately), there's no way to tell what happens once you lose consciousness.


Are you at the point though? Only you would know that.

You might want to research heart with other methods you've considered if any too.

I think this might be a problem unique to me. The meat of the matter, is that I exeprience very robust tachycardia a couple dozen times a day and it lasts an unsettling amount of time each time it manifests itself. Racing heart may sound benign, especially when it comes to the other symtpoms I deal with, but the heart arrythmia stuff has tortured me in a way that has exhaustred my soul and drained me and everyone around me of their life forces. I have gone by ambulance a dozen times this year alone for heart issues. So that might give you a better picture to how this affects me. I hate the hospital deeply, but that hate turns into desperation when my heart really goes rogue on me. I deal with alien symptoms all day long that are intense and inhumane, but something about my heart going into arrythmia just puts me into a state of instant psychosis and fear (a reversible psychosis)

I guess, for me, it would be haphazardous to use something like SN, because I'd be an instant victim of my survival instincts and likely scream for help, even though my logical and rational mind is wanting to have one final sleep.

N seems to be a the holy grail for me. I'll stick withg pursuing that. My second option would be opioids+benzodiazpines.

 

[IWIKAW]

You can try to add propranolol to the mix. I take it to stop the physical symptoms of anxiety and it really helps slow my heart rate (from 120bpm to 65 bpm) during anxiety inducing situations.

 

[Carina]

I think this might be a problem unique to me. The meat of the matter, is that I exeprience very robust tachycardia a couple dozen times a day and it lasts an unsettling amount of time each time it manifests itself. Racing heart may sound benign, especially when it comes to the other symtpoms I deal with, but the heart arrythmia stuff has tortured me in a way that has exhaustred my soul and drained me and everyone around me of their life forces. I have gone by ambulance a dozen times this year alone for heart issues. So that might give you a better picture to how this affects me. I hate the hospital deeply, but that hate turns into desperation when my heart really goes rogue on me. I deal with alien symptoms all day long that are intense and inhumane, but something about my heart going into arrythmia just puts me into a state of instant psychosis and fear (a reversible psychosis)

I guess, for me, it would be haphazardous to use something like SN, because I'd be an instant victim of my survival instincts and likely scream for help, even though my logical and rational mind is wanting to have one final sleep.

N seems to be a the holy grail for me. I'll stick withg pursuing that. My second option would be opioids+benzodiazpines.

One of my co-workers in her 30s has been on heart monitors and things for a150 + bpm heart rate.

She can't even drink more than one cup of coffeea day as it can cause issues.

I was basically thinking of you like her and going with avoiding any heart racing things. But yeah if you've found what you think works for you that's great. Just wanted to make sure you checked all possible side effects just in case. I just hated for you to choose ctb and then discover your method had expected heart responses after you started

 

[Chronicillness]

You can try to add propranolol to the mix. I take it to stop the physical symptoms of anxiety and it really helps slow my heart rate (from 120bpm to 65 bpm) during anxiety inducing situations.

I ironically get paradoxical symptoms with beta blockers. My heart slows a bit, but it pounds much, much harder. This is good advice, but sadly most pharmaceuticals have unintended effects on me. (I was damaged badly by many pharmaceuticals; polydrugged as an adult and child. Now literally 99.99% of pharmaceuticals give me adverse events.)

One of my co-workers in her 30s has been on heart monitors and things for a150 + bpm heart rate.

She can't even drink more than one cup of coffeea day as it can cause issues.

I was basically thinking of you like her and going with avoiding any heart racing things. But yeah if you've found what you think works for you that's great. Just wanted to make sure you checked all possible side effects just in case. I just hated for you to choose ctb and then discover you method had expected heart responses

Your coworker and me have a lot in common. I absolutely detest even the thought of anything stimulating, with caffeine being a major no-no for me. I've also had so many damn holter monitors, echo's, stress tests, etc. Once your heart births a mind of its own, then you become a victim to the second mind inside you thatg's running the show now. It's funny because I objectively have symptoms I deal with daily that would likely be more of a concern for most people, but my heart has possesed me now and causes me to have full blown ego death dozens of times a day. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore because my personality keeps getting deleted multiple times a day and I have to reinvent myself every hour of the day because my heart has completely taken over. It has infantalized me; in fact I am lower than an infant now because of all this, I am the rawest and most sensitive being that I have ever known of or read about. To say I am in fear 24/7 would be an understatement. This is truly something else. I'm being tortured alive.