sn taken away

[kelimackie]

I slipped that I had it, I'm such a dumbass. my psychologist asked me to bring it to him, of course he's never giving it back to me. what a fucking dumbass I am, I need to stop try trying to get better, it just never does.

I'm trying to order it again, but God I have no money, I hate that I have to plan even this, I wish a meteor or a car crash would put an end to my misery without any effort.

 

[iloverachel]

I am so sorry that happened

 

[silence ends]

When you seriously plan to ctb you dont tell exact plans to close ones or therapist or doctors. No one of them will not courage you to do it.

Sometimes ppl need to express their bad feelings somehow, sometimes form of planning ctb.

I get a feeling you are still quite young, maybe ask your self are you really on the end of your journey or is there still something to explore(and deep inside you wanting to explore)?

Sorry if im wrong. Losing SN sucks if youre determined to ctb. And its getting harder to obtain.

 

[kelimackie]

I managed to get some money borrowed, I bought it, its going to arrive possibly in May 22nd. I can't take this anymore I need to die.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I slipped that I had it, I'm such a dumbass. my psychologist asked me to bring it to him, of course he's never giving it back to me. what a fucking dumbass I am, I need to stop try trying to get better, it just never does.

I'm trying to order it again, but God I have no money, I hate that I have to plan even this, I wish a meteor or a car crash would put an end to my misery without any effort.

Why on Earth did you give it to him? My psychologist found out about my SN too and told me to get rid of it. In politer terms, I told him it's my property and he can get lost!

 

[crystal_meth97]

Damn, that sucks. Lesson learned for you, I guess. You should've expected that from a mental health professional, they see it as their duty to prevent you from CTB. Be more careful if you intend to do this again, don't let other people know. I can only imagine how frustrating that felt, but I'm glad you managed to purchase it again. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do :)

 

[locked*n*loaded]

At least you didn't get locked up. You're still free to pursue the way you see fit to get to the peace you deserve.

 

[Ww42]

Im shocked they didn't EOD you. What'd the therapist say after seeing the SN?

 

[onbekend]

It's pretty terrible how these people manipulate others to just take things that rightfully belong to them. It's even worse how in this case they think that taking SN away would be doing someone a favor. On the bright side, at least you're free to post on here and that you haven't been locked up.

 

[DeathOfKane]

It's pretty terrible how these people manipulate others to just take things that rightfully belong to them. It's even worse how in this case they think that taking SN away would be doing someone a favor. On the bright side, at least you're free to post on here and that you haven't been locked up.

I really doubt this is manipulation. This person said they let slip that they had it and their care provider requested it. They didn't have to actually hand anything over. They can tell you to but if you don't want to, then don't.

 

[Timothy7dff]

It's pretty terrible how these people manipulate others to just take things that rightfully belong to them. It's even worse how in this case they think that taking SN away would be doing someone a favor. On the bright side, at least you're free to post on here and that you haven't been locked up.

They may have some legal responsibility to act. If you're an immediate threat to yourself or others, they can do things they otherwise couldn't.

 

[Dusk till dawn]

Why would you even trust a therapist in the first place? If anything this "therapist" is trying to gather as much information as possible on you and whenever he senses the slightest bit of you giving up on life he would just report you and you will get involuntarily detained, i suggest you just directly cut all ties with your "therapist" because this guy is going to sabotage all your plans, that's what pro-lifers do when they grasp a suicidal person, just make his life even more miserable than it is, he won't even help you with your mental state, this "therapist" is just going to spread toxic positivity to you, he's not going to help you, he will just keep saying bullshit like "it gets better" "life is a gift" and and that bullshit, that's what pro-lifers do once they just get a grasp on a suicidal person, they will just try to sabotage their plans and ruin their lives furthermore, you should immediately cut contact with this "therapist"

On the brighter side, you at least know where to buy SN again so it's not all dark and black, there's many suicide methods here and there's a good possibility one might be available to you already, I suggest you be extremely secretive about your plans to commit suicide, don't trust anyone with it, don't even think about telling someone that you want to commit suicide, they will just report you and you'll get involuntarily detained in a psych ward, it's not worth the risk, you at least this community where people will understand you and won't interfere against your will, you can vent here safely knowing that nobody is going to invalidate your feelings and tell you "it will eventually get better"

I understand your pain, i myself was there once when my antiemetics was taken away and trashed by my parents without my knowledge, i know how traumatizing this is, just know you have this community, you can always vent safely here

 

[secondaryinfertiliy]

The inability to seriously talk to people about ctb is what makes this whole journey the hardest. I understand, from a legal standpoint, that therapists and Drs etc have to intervene, but I wish the taboo on these conversations was gone so we didn't have to slink around in the fringes of the internet like mangy animals


The good thing is you got sn before, so you will be able to get it again! Locating sn send to be the biggest challenge-i myself have no idea how to find it in the US, which sucks immensely. At least you got that supply chain!

 

[kelimackie]

Im shocked they didn't EOD you. What'd the therapist say after seeing the SN?

he didn't say much, he just took it. I felt I had no choice but to give it to him, otherwise he would tell my entire family to be careful, and that would be horrendous.

It's even worse how in this case they think that taking SN away would be doing someone a favor. On the bright side, at least you're free to post on here and that you haven't been locked up.

yeah, taking my sn away just made things worse. In my country they don't lock people up, it's against the law to lock insane people just cause they insane, there were a lot of those in the 60s so they banned it.

I'm having panic attacks 24/7, I'm definitely in the worst possible state of mind, I'm shaking while writing, I can't trust nobody, I'm not alone any moment and my mind is torturing me. Thinking about dying fills me with anxiety, and living too. I don't even know how I'll be able to prepare the sn drinks because I'm so fucking crazy rn, and I'm never alone to drink it anyway. I'm going insane, by the very definition.