Method SN protocol, final review

[nosoul]

Ok I was able to get Meto today so I will be using an AE. Here is planned protocol.

12pm begin fast
10pm 2mg klonopin, 600mg advil gel caps, no fluids from here on out
11:15pm 30mg Metoclopramide, 1 klonopin
11:59pm 10mg klonopin
12am, SN, 50ml water, 25grams, backup glass

Is it common for people to chicken out? I'm hoping not, but I'll be royally screwed if I wake up again after this attempt. And I'll be out of my only sleep providing meds klonopin.

I still fear death tbh, but I know my future is bleak, it's terrible now as I feel my mind and body slowly degrade.

Any comments on above would be appreciated, thank you. You will all finally see my frantic posts dissappear I hope.

What are the risks of failure? If I call for help after it? It seems as people follow their protocol it ends up building momentum to drink the SN, no?

Any advice is appreciated. I hope to find peace despite ruining my family's peace for their remaining time. I feel selfish but they don't know my particular suffering unfortunately.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Is it common for people to chicken out? I'm hoping not, but I'll be royally screwed if I wake up again after this attempt. And I'll be out of my only sleep providing meds klonopin.

That is definitely very common. To make an attempt requires that we seriously steel our will. Unfortunately SN because it isn't quick really puts our wills to the test.

If I call for help after it?

Well, yeah if you panicking and up calling 9-11 that's a guaranteed fail.

Maybe it would be easier to make the attempt after waking up or start the fast after that to make the time you have to wait shorter.

 

[Zegers]

I'll be royally screwed if I wake up again after this

Yeah, waking up in a hospital would be nerve-wracking, which is why i want to secure the process with a hgun. The benzos? are important for the SI.

 

[nosoul]

That is definitely very common. To make an attempt requires that we seriously steel our will. Unfortunately SN because it isn't quick really puts our wills to the test.


Well, yeah if you panicking and up calling 9-11 that's a guaranteed fail.

Maybe it would be easier to make the attempt after waking up or start the fast after that to make the time you have to wait shorter.

I had my last meal tonight I feel. I'm in hotel worried I'll be bothered. Getting a bit nervous but my time here is done sadly my own doing
Any issues that I'm not using proponol or something else?

 

[Letgo]

Wish you peace and rest. Hopefully evrything will go as planned. Thinking of you.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Fear is normal, but impermanent. Will you be making a post as you go?

 

[nosoul]

I'd like to, I use incognito mode but then after drinking I have a few minutes to close out? Most likely to succeed first to suicide I. Think

 

[depressedlover]

Any issues that I'm not using proponol or something else?

Propranolol is not considered very essential in the pph ,but it's used to help with tachycardia symptoms.I have also seen some members say it increases the time of death by reducing the tachycardia effects which speeds up death.I was initially planning to use it too but i decided not to because i would like a direct bus no delays.I think with enough benzos to calm my SI i won't consider it essential.

Is it common for people to chicken out? I

Considering how difficult suicide is,and the human body's ability to initiate different survival mechanisms and instincts,it's very common to chicken out and that's also normal.
Remember it's also ok to cancel,postpone whenever you feel like.I wish you luck in any decision you make.

 

[nosoul]

Propranolol is not considered very essential in the pph ,but it's used to help with tachycardia symptoms.I have also seen some members say it increases the time of death by reducing the tachycardia effects which speeds up death.I was initially planning to use it too but i decided not to because i would like a direct bus no delays.I think with enough benzos to calm my SI i won't consider it essential.

Considering how difficult suicide is,and the human body's ability to initiate different survival mechanisms and instincts,it's very common to chicken out and that's also normal.
Remember it's also ok to cancel,postpone whenever you feel like.I wish you luck in any decision you make.

I just want to sleep for good sadly. Yeah will be interesting I'm so tired, no real sleep since March 21

 

[depressedlover]

I just want to sleep for good sadly. Yeah will be interesting I'm so tired, no real sleep since March 21

I'm so sorry for that.I wish you the best and hope you'll find peace in all you're seeking.You're in my thoughts nosoul.

 

[Valky]

I am so sorry that life has brought you to this point.

Whatever decision you make, it is totally valid and we will be here for you.

I wish you all the Best, no matter what you decide to do <3

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Im sorry it had to come to this man. I wish you peace in whatever comes next.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much so I hope that you find the freedom you wish for. Permanent sleep certainly sounds so ideal to me.

 

[aimless_arrow]

What are the risks of failure? If I call for help after it?

If you can get to the ER in time, you can be administered methylene blue. It gives you a shot at survival depending on how much SN you took.

 

[nosoul]

If you can get to the ER in time, you can be administered methylene blue. It gives you a shot at survival depending on how much SN you took.

I don't want to survive, thus will trigger a psych ward stay and honestly am in no condition for it. Coming of 4 hours Total brainsleep past 2 days, I have to euthanize myself, I have no energy to do anything, my sleep and eating been non existent, crazy. I just lay down but brain doesn't ever shut off

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Don't call for help if you actually want to die, man, that's like common sense

 

[nosoul]

Don't call for help if you actually want to die, man, that's like common sense

Yeah and ill be using all my benzos which are the only thing that let me sleep. I just can't survive, but it's a deathbsentencr I put on myself. Thus sucks so bad, because I wanted to live long life, but I triggered something very bad. No sleep at all but a few hours for 6 weeks and I'm almost skin and bones, so tired

I don't want to survive, thus will trigger a psych ward stay and honestly am in no condition for it. Coming of 4 hours Total brainsleep past 2 days, I have to euthanize myself, I have no energy to do anything, my sleep and eating been non existent, crazy. I just lay down but brain doesn't ever shut off

My insomnia gives me no choice I feel.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

I'm so sorry that you've reached this point, I read some of your threads, I'm glad that you were able to finally get meto and I also hope that you are making this decision because you are really ready and not because of fear of checkups, if so I hope you find the tranquility and peace you need ♡

 

[aimless_arrow]

I don't want to survive, thus will trigger a psych ward stay and honestly am in no condition for it. Coming of 4 hours Total brainsleep past 2 days, I have to euthanize myself, I have no energy to do anything, my sleep and eating been non existent, crazy. I just lay down but brain doesn't ever shut off

It sounds rough what you're going through, I want to die too but can't imagine also dealing with not being able to eat and sleep

 

[nosoul]

I'm so sorry that you've reached this point, I read some of your threads, I'm glad that you were able to finally get meto and I also hope that you are making this decision because you are really ready and not because of fear of checkups, if so I hope you find the tranquility and peace you need ♡

I feel stuck because I'm failing quickly. I hope it works, I want to try to live but then I think what can I do with such little sleep and food, fatal insomnia, they won't even believe me, can't get tested until late may, I should try to rent an apt go to hospital but then I will just be stuck there. Because they will drug me but won't believe I can't sleep. It's not manic, I'm anything but manic, usually u sleep when depressed, don't when your manic, I'm just devastated. Finding an apt I can probably do but then to just SN there? God damn you dmt and my addictive personality, I never wanted to fry my brain, I had very good brain before month of no sleep at all.

I worry about SI a little, I worry if I take a klonopin ill just pass out, need to take SN sadly is how I feel to end this.

It sounds rough what you're going through, I want to die too but can't imagine also dealing with not being able to eat and sleep

Exactly thank you, my mind is so slow. I can't even wait for diagnosis, prob lost another 10lbs in past few days, I'll miss the world. I have no energy to even move my bags, I don't know it's such a sad ending too.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

I feel stuck because I'm failing quickly. I hope it works, I want to try to live but then I think what can I do with such little sleep and food, fatal insomnia, they won't even believe me, can't get tested until late may, I should try to rent an apt go to hospital but then I will just be stuck there. Because they will drug me but won't believe I can't sleep. It's not manic, I'm anything but manic, usually u sleep when depressed, don't when your manic, I'm just devastated. Finding an apt I can probably do but then to just SN there? God damn you dmt and my addictive personality, I never wanted to fry my brain, I had very good brain before month of no sleep at all.

I worry about SI a little, I worry if I take a klonopin ill just pass out, need to take SN sadly is how I feel to end this.

Exactly thank you, my mind is so slow. I can't even wait for diagnosis, prob lost another 10lbs in past few days, I'll miss the world. I have no energy to even move my bags, I don't know it's such a sad ending too.

I am totally pro choice. And you are expressing that you want to live even a little longer and try. Why do you think they won't believe you about your insomnia? I don't know what country you live in but yes, in many it is difficult for you to be prescribed benzos. Did the klonopin help you sleep either or did you just get it and haven't tried to take it? You haven't gone to check on your insomnia so from what I understand, maybe it's a good idea for you to try it, I'm telling you this only from what I read that maybe you're not ready and maybe insomnia and lack of food is what is affecting you At this moment I totally understand you, that is why I have also spent many days without sleeping or eating and they have been one of the worst moments I have ever experienced, but when I managed to sleep thanks to the benzos and ate well I felt better and I can think everything more clearly. In the end it's your decision and I respect it, but if you want to talk I'm here for you

 

[nosoul]

That is definitely very common. To make an attempt requires that we seriously steel our will. Unfortunately SN because it isn't quick really puts our wills to the test.


Well, yeah if you panicking and up calling 9-11 that's a guaranteed fail.

Maybe it would be easier to make the attempt after waking up or start the fast after that to make the time you have to wait shorter.

I didn't even sleep last night, pretty fasted my Metoclopramide getting delivered to me soon.

I am totally pro choice. And you are expressing that you want to live even a little longer and try. Why do you think they won't believe you about your insomnia? I don't know what country you live in but yes, in many it is difficult for you to be prescribed benzos. Did the klonopin help you sleep either or did you just get it and haven't tried to take it? You haven't gone to check on your insomnia so from what I understand, maybe it's a good idea for you to try it, I'm telling you this only from what I read that maybe you're not ready and maybe insomnia and lack of food is what is affecting you At this moment I totally understand you, that is why I have also spent many days without sleeping or eating and they have been one of the worst moments I have ever experienced, but when I managed to sleep thanks to the benzos and ate well I felt better and I can think everything more clearly. In the end it's your decision and I respect it, but if you want to talk I'm here for you

The klonopin has been providing me of the only sleep I've had. Literally the only sleep I get while on klonopin, and my natural appetite is gone, I have been forcing myself to eat but it's nothing compared to what I ate.

If I go to the hospital they will keep me until a social worker can provide an apartment, but they will see my mental decline.

If I get diagnosed with fatal insomnia which they don't believe in. The destruction of my key brain functions to eat and sleep are gone, I feel trapped. I need medical attention but then it will get worse while I'm in there because of my sleep issue. If I get sick, the body should be able to sleep on its own, I can't at all. Everyday is torture. I wish I could see my dogs again and take care of them but can't without sleep and food, that hurts me greatly as 1 dog I was his only Master and trained him so well. In my attempt I'll be using all my klonopin as well, so if I wake up I'm screwed as they only provide me the only sleep i get, but not guaranteed, have gone many days without any sleep and when I do get sleep again it is only for a few hours. My body is destroyed right now. I can't even figure out how to extend my days even if I wanted to, only to keep wasting away not eating and sleeping.

Like invisible illness, people think of yeah when I'm sad I don't eat or sleep, I'm saying there is no feedback from body.

If you can get to the ER in time, you can be administered methylene blue. It gives you a shot at survival depending on how much SN you took.

How long to passout? Yuen I can't call for help. But there should be no waking up right?

 

[storeboughtisfine]

How are you feeling friend? Thinking of you.

 

[nosoul]

How are you feeling friend? Thinking of you.

Nervous, but I'm so tired I'm laying down before doing it for good. Odd to think these are my final hours I don't know. It will devastate my family, but I don't know how to go on. I'm totally sleep deprived food deprived, not a great state to be in. I got money today so you think I should do something fun. Or try to restart life again but can do it with this insomnia and lack of food reward, life feels so bland. Thx for checking. It's an all or nothing attempt, so thinking about that.

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Nervous, but I'm so tired I'm laying down before doing it for good. Odd to think these are my final hours I don't know. It will devastate my family, but I don't know how to go on. I'm totally sleep deprived food deprived, not a great state to be in. I got money today so you think I should do something fun. Or try to restart life again but can do it with this insomnia and lack of food reward, life feels so bland. Thx for checking. It's an all or nothing attempt, so thinking about that.

I hope they can come to peace with your choice one day.

Are you listening to any music? Watching anything on tv?

 

[Deleted member 31858]

do you have any other way to get klonopin? I don't know how strict they are in your country but if you could get it and sleep well every day it would be perfect, even being able to see your dogs, I'm very sorry, maybe all this can be interpreted as trying to convince you not to do it. I'm sorry if I make you feel that way, it's not my intention. For me, benzos take away my hunger, although depression also doesn't help you much right now to eat. If you want to continue with your plan, I would not recommend fasting for many hours, it may cause more nausea. In my failed attempt, I also had days without sleeping or eating, although I suppose they were not as many days as you have.

 

[nosoul]

I hope they can come to peace with your choice one day.

Are you listening to any music? Watching anything on tv?

No, all the things I used to love now irritatebme be cause I've not slept in over month, I'm sitting in quiet room will be quiet when I go, I haven't watched TV in a month now because stimulation bothers me. Going to hospital would be much worse, i sound crazy I know than death? I should have gone to hospital a while ago but avoiding. Even to get diagnosed with brain scan I feel I can't go on. They don't understand I burned my brain with dmt:( no sleep no hunger, it is driving me slowly crazy and then they will keep me.

do you have any other way to get klonopin? I don't know how strict they are in your country but if you could get it and sleep well every day it would be perfect, even being able to see your dogs, I'm very sorry, maybe all this can be interpreted as trying to convince you not to do it. I'm sorry if I make you feel that way, it's not my intention. For me, benzos take away my hunger, although depression also doesn't help you much right now to eat. If you want to continue with your plan, I would not recommend fasting for many hours, it may cause more nausea. In my failed attempt, I also had days without sleeping or eating, although I suppose they were not as many days as you have.

I have klonopin, but doesn't help onlybfor few hours. Others here make it seem so easy to go

 

[storeboughtisfine]

Are you sure that this is your only way? It just seems like you're aprehensive. Maybe there are other options and the sleep deprivation is simply keeping you from seeing things properly.

I apologize if this seems dismissive, I promise it isn't, it just seems like you don't want to do this, rather that you feel like you need to. Maybe there are options you can use. I dunno.

Whatever choice you make, I hope you feel at peace with it.

 

[nosoul]

Are you sure that this is your only way? It just seems like you're aprehensive. Maybe there are other options and the sleep deprivation is simply keeping you from seeing things properly.

I apologize if this seems dismissive, I promise it isn't, it just seems like you don't want to do this, rather that you feel like you need to. Maybe there are options you can use. I dunno.

Whatever choice you make, I hope you feel at peace with it.

yes I feel I need to, my mind is gone, I'm 6wks sleep deprived. I can't do mental institutions I will die there

 

[storeboughtisfine]

yes I feel I need to, my mind is gone, I'm 6wks sleep deprived. I can't do mental institutions I will die there

I understand. Do you have a timeline?