BarnabasCollins

BarnabasCollins

Member
Nov 16, 2023
78
Hi, everyone.

First, I want to thank everyone here and say I'm grateful for this site. I only recently started posting, but was lurking for a while before. I feel like I've gotten to know the community.

My divorce is killing me on top of childhood rape, abuse, neglect, and a generally miserable past. I've tried so hard to succeed with everything and things always fall apart worse than before.

To clarify, I never cheated or abused my wife. I got depressed, she freaked out, and kicked me out. Her family are strict Southern Baptist and don't believe mental health issues are real. They view them as failures and signs you aren't "saved," because God would just make you happy. She's used my mental health in court to state I am an unfit father, among other things. It's costing me all my money and will to live.

She and her family will raise my son to hate me. They view me as an ungodly and demonic influence and see it as their religious duty. All because I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
I got SN a couple of months ago before the wretched pro-lifers got the source taken down. I've been storing it and waiting for the right time. I think December 31 is my last day.

I'll have a few more visits with my son, who is 16 months old. My ex is doing all she can to keep me from him and is going to make my life as miserable as she can. He won't remember me and maybe that's for the best.

Also, I'm her third divorce, and she wants vengeance for that.

Here's my plan:

December 31, 2023

2:00 am

6:00 pm - absolute beginning of fast, will shoot for longer

12:00 am - no more fluids

1:00 am - 1000 mg acetomenaphine

1:20 am - 30-40 mg antiemetic

1:30 am - 300 mg quietiapine

2:00 am - 30 g SN


Critiques are welcome. If there are any flaws or things I should do differently, please let me know.

I'll plan on doing a thread here as I go to help anyone else thinking of this method to know what to expect. I'll post for as long as I'm able.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate any feedback.
 
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flightless bird

flightless bird

somewhere over the rainbow
Aug 18, 2022
216
i'm really sorry, i hope things work out with your son and you turn away from this path while you still can, for your son.

300 mg quetiapine should have fairly strong antiemetic effects. maybe you shouldn't take antiemetics together with that, i'm not absolutely sure but it might mess things up, the brain works in mysterious ways. i took meto while on quetiapine once (100 mg/day) and experienced abdominal spasms for 3 days, just FYI.
 
D

DreamEnd

Enlightened
Aug 4, 2022
1,892
i'm really sorry, i hope things work out with your son and you turn away from this path while you still can, for your son.

300 mg quetiapine should have fairly strong antiemetic effects. maybe you shouldn't take antiemetics together with that, i'm not absolutely sure but it might mess things up, the brain works in mysterious ways. i took meto while on quetiapine once (100 mg/day) and experienced abdominal spasms for 3 days, just FYI.
Mixing anti psychotics and anti emetics isn't a good idea you think? I was thinking of doing that before sn
 
flightless bird

flightless bird

somewhere over the rainbow
Aug 18, 2022
216
Mixing anti psychotics and anti emetics isn't a good idea you think? I was thinking of doing that before sn

based on my experience it doesn't look that bright of an idea. needs a proper research though.
 
D

DreamEnd

Enlightened
Aug 4, 2022
1,892
based on my experience it doesn't look that bright of an idea. needs a proper research though.
Yeah I looked it up on drug interaction checker and it's not recommended
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,212
Im sorry this happened to you. You are not alone. I am going through something similar. :(
 
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LeperGnome

LeperGnome

Member
Nov 14, 2023
57
Doesn't Christianity teach love and compassion? Goes to show what a bunch of hypocrites most "Christians" are. Anyway, really sorry you have to go through all that, hope everything works out for you.
 
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J

juliejulie95

Member
Dec 4, 2023
6
Hi, everyone.

First, I want to thank everyone here and say I'm grateful for this site. I only recently started posting, but was lurking for a while before. I feel like I've gotten to know the community.

My divorce is killing me on top of childhood rape, abuse, neglect, and a generally miserable past. I've tried so hard to succeed with everything and things always fall apart worse than before.

To clarify, I never cheated or abused my wife. I got depressed, she freaked out, and kicked me out. Her family are strict Southern Baptist and don't believe mental health issues are real. They view them as failures and signs you aren't "saved," because God would just make you happy. She's used my mental health in court to state I am an unfit father, among other things. It's costing me all my money and will to live.

She and her family will raise my son to hate me. They view me as an ungodly and demonic influence and see it as their religious duty. All because I have PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
I got SN a couple of months ago before the wretched pro-lifers got the source taken down. I've been storing it and waiting for the right time. I think December 31 is my last day.

I'll have a few more visits with my son, who is 16 months old. My ex is doing all she can to keep me from him and is going to make my life as miserable as she can. He won't remember me and maybe that's for the best.

Also, I'm her third divorce, and she wants vengeance for that.

Here's my plan:

December 31, 2023

2:00 am

6:00 pm - absolute beginning of fast, will shoot for longer

12:00 am - no more fluids

1:00 am - 1000 mg acetomenaphine

1:20 am - 30-40 mg antiemetic

1:30 am - 300 mg quietiapine

2:00 am - 30 g SN


Critiques are welcome. If there are any flaws or things I should do differently, please let me know.

I'll plan on doing a thread here as I go to help anyone else thinking of this method to know what to expect. I'll post for as long as I'm able.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate any feedback.
So sorry to hear about the pain you are going through.
 
D

Deleted member 65988

Guest
Her family are strict Southern Baptist and don't believe mental health issues are real. They view them as failures and signs you aren't "saved," because God would just make you happy. She's used my mental health in court to state I am an unfit father, among other things. It's costing me all my money and will to live
Religion never fails to disappoint, that's one of the things I dislike about Christianity, that you aren't good enough on your own and need a savior in your life because without him, you are nothing but sinful scum who deserves every bit of punishment coming your way. The fact she used your mental state to take advantage over you to say you are an unfit father is fucking low, so fucking disgustingly low because it's causing so much pain on top of what you already deal with, it's absolutely insane how these people, these Christians who think they are paragons of love and compassion can be so senile and two-faced.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,231
I think I may leave on the same day. If not, January will be. Wishing you the best on your decisions.
 
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D

Deleted member 65988

Guest
Here's my plan:

December 31, 2023

2:00 am

6:00 pm - absolute beginning of fast, will shoot for longer

12:00 am - no more fluids

1:00 am - 1000 mg acetomenaphine

1:20 am - 30-40 mg antiemetic

1:30 am - 300 mg quietiapine

2:00 am - 30 g SN
Is there any possibility of getting a benzo at all because otherwise, for what you have access to, this regimen is pretty solid.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,892
That sounds really horrible what you've been through, it's cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best of luck with your plans.
 
BarnabasCollins

BarnabasCollins

Member
Nov 16, 2023
78
Yeah I looked it up on drug interaction checker and it's not recommended

i'm really sorry, i hope things work out with your son and you turn away from this path while you still can, for your son.

300 mg quetiapine should have fairly strong antiemetic effects. maybe you shouldn't take antiemetics together with that, i'm not absolutely sure but it might mess things up, the brain works in mysterious ways. i took meto while on quetiapine once (100 mg/day) and experienced abdominal spasms for 3 days, just FYI.
I didn't realize that. I'll just stick with quetiapine, then. Thanks so much for the info.
Is there any possibility of getting a benzo at all because otherwise, for what you have access to, this regimen is pretty solid.
Unfortunately, no. Quetiapine has strong anti-anxiety effects on me, though.
Why 30g? Have you calculated according to your body weight?
I'm 6'2, 195 lbs, so I thought I should go a bit higher than the recommended 25 g.

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words. I really appreciate it. You all are proof there is kindness in this world. It means a lot to me. Thank you all so, so much.
 
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BarnabasCollins

BarnabasCollins

Member
Nov 16, 2023
78
I think I may leave on the same day. If not, January will be. Wishing you the best on your decisions.

Thanks for your kind words. I wish you the best as well. May you find peace. Feel free to PM me, if you'd like to talk.

Again, I wanted to thank each and every one of you. May you all find the peace you deserve. Thank you, thank you!
 
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BarnabasCollins

BarnabasCollins

Member
Nov 16, 2023
78
Yeh, I decided to hold on bit longer. I had false hope. Things have just gotten worse and worse since December 31. I have mediation set in my divorce tomorrow and she's been messaging me terrible things. The mediation isn't going to work and will just cost me a ton of money. I don't know why I gave into false hope. I'm rethinking when to ctb now.
 

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