Venting SN - My Best Christmas Present, Ever.

[darksideofthebright]

After over two weeks of waiting, my SN from the Ukrainian seller has finally arrived this morning, to my surprise. With how hard it has been to acquire SN in the UK, I decided to not keep my hopes up and thought that I would take the more difficult way out - caffeine OD. When the mailman arrived this morning with the package of SN, I was shaking, literally.

Now that my SN is with me, oddly, I just don't know how to feel. I cannot tell whether I'm excited or saddened, happy or depressed, relieved or burdened. Is it weird that my urge to disappear from this world just suddenly decreased? I know that my suicidal thoughts will still be lingering around the back of my mind, but it's not overpowering anymore, because now I have the exit button ready and available whenever. So much has happened recently that up until this morning, I was desperate to leave; that's why I'm surprised that when my SN arrived, I just don't know how to feel or what to do. At the moment, I'm just waiting for the decision on my PhD degree application and composing myself enough for my Twitch streams until Christmas; but part of me is feeling like a storm is coming, not for myself, but for others. Also, I'm gonna continue to enjoy my last days by supporting and being there for so many wonderful beans I've made acquaintances with on SS.

Now, I'm hoping that I will not get any visits from the police. If any of you knows:

Can you please tell me the expiration period of SN once it's opened?​

I think I'll have to open the package up and store half of it in a jar with the other half in the package for when the police come knocking on my door (if they even do). I also have no antiemetic or antacid, so if I were to take the SN, I just hope that it will be going down with no major issues.

Still shaking, thoughts are overwhelming and I'm trying to compose myself because I'm speaking to my psychiatrist in 13 minutes. They're no psychic, but I hope I won't slip off while being anxious and expose my plan.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

If the SN made its way to your door i would think the police are off your back. Is possession of the substance a crime in the UK or is it just kept under regulations for selling? Even if its illegal law enforcement has bigger fish to fry than you. There are people in every country who get away with massive crimes for decades, like capital murder until they are caught even though law enforcement was often warned repeatedly. You're too small a fish

 

[darksideofthebright]

If the SN made its way to your door i would think the police are off your back. Is possession of the substance a crime in the UK or is it just kept under regulations for selling? Even if its illegal law enforcement has bigger fish to fry than you. There are people in every country who get away with massive crimes for decades, like capital murder until they are caught even though law enforcement was often warned repeatedly. You're too small a fish

Oh I know I'm nothing significant, but there have been other users on SS who got visits from the police after receiving the SN, and as someone who suffers a lot from anxiety attacks, I'm terrified just by the thoughts of the police coming over.

The possession of SN without a license is illegal in the UK, yes.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Oh I know I'm nothing significant, but there have been other users on SS who got visits from the police after receiving the SN, and as someone who suffers a lot from anxiety attacks, I'm terrified just by the thoughts of the police coming over.

The possession of SN without a license is illegal in the UK, yes.

Then maybe you would be good to prepare it for disposal. However i have a feeling especially during this time of CV19 the police are not gonna wanna harass for such a low level offense. Now if you hard ordered enough to set up distribution you may be in trouble

 

[Pookie]

Do you feel relieved now that you have it? I would imagine having a way out would feel like a safety net if things got too overwhelming.

 

[0siris]

The expiration period is really hard to tell. If stored properly (even if it was opened to transfer it), it should be good for at least 3 years, but there are many variables.

What you could do is to put 10g in a third container and use it to test it every few months to see if it's still good/ the quality declines.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Do you feel relieved now that you have it? I would imagine having a way out would feel like a safety net if things got too overwhelming.

I'm not certain about how I feel really. But prior to acquiring SN, I always thought to myself what you said right there. I think, for now, I'm just a bit worried about losing my SN so I'm just preparing for when unexpected things happen.

 

[sadworld]

Congrats on receiving your SN!

Is it weird that my urge to disappear from this world just suddenly decreased?

No, it's definitely not weird. When I joined this forum I was about to do something on impulse and once I received my SN, knowing that there is always a way out when things get too much my urge to ctb decreased a bit.

I'm sorry for your anxiety with the police. I know how that feels and it sucks... You should store your SN in closed containers at room temperature and not in moist places like your bathroom. It's good for about to 3 years if stored correctly.

Wishing you all the best! and

 

[x~Sophia~x]

The possession of SN without a license is illegal in the UK, yes.

It isn't illegal at all. It used to be very easy to purchase it, but now Internet sellers in UK are asking for proof that they're part of a business that uses SN in the manufacture of their products. This is due to increasing use of SN to Suicide.

 

[Thanatonaut]

After over two weeks of waiting, my SN from the Ukrainian seller has finally arrived this morning, to my surprise. With how hard it has been to acquire SN in the UK, I decided to not keep my hopes up and thought that I would take the more difficult way out - caffeine OD. When the mailman arrived this morning with the package of SN, I was shaking, literally.

Now that my SN is with me, oddly, I just don't know how to feel. I cannot tell whether I'm excited or saddened, happy or depressed, relieved or burdened. Is it weird that my urge to disappear from this world just suddenly decreased? I know that my suicidal thoughts will still be lingering around the back of my mind, but it's not overpowering anymore, because now I have the exit button ready and available whenever. So much has happened recently that up until this morning, I was desperate to leave; that's why I'm surprised that when my SN arrived, I just don't know how to feel or what to do. At the moment, I'm just waiting for the decision on my PhD degree application and composing myself enough for my Twitch streams until Christmas; but part of me is feeling like a storm is coming, not for myself, but for others. Also, I'm gonna continue to enjoy my last days by supporting and being there for so many wonderful beans I've made acquaintances with on SS.

Now, I'm hoping that I will not get any visits from the police. If any of you knows:

Can you please tell me the expiration period of SN once it's opened?​

I think I'll have to open the package up and store half of it in a jar with the other half in the package for when the police come knocking on my door (if they even do). I also have no antiemetic or antacid, so if I were to take the SN, I just hope that it will be going down with no major issues.

Still shaking, thoughts are overwhelming and I'm trying to compose myself because I'm speaking to my psychiatrist in 13 minutes. They're no psychic, but I hope I won't slip off while being anxious and expose my plan.

Have you thought about going somewhere local and buying some sodium nitrate? Since it's not regulated, it should be easy to find some. If/when the cops come knocking, just give them the nitrate. Hell, lots of people on this forum can't tell them apart, and you know some random cop is just going to assume it's a typo.

 

[Ghost2211]

It doesn't expire. The expiration date is for sales purposes due to yellowing and clumping. It's salt, It last forever as long as you keep it dry. Also, grats on receiving your cozy xmas security blankie. It's awesome and cozy. I love mine and think about it daily.

 

[Thanatonaut]

It doesn't expire. The expiration date is for sales purposes due to yellowing and clumping. It's salt, It last forever as long as you keep it dry. Also, grats on receiving your cozy xmas security blankie. It's awesome and cozy. I love mine and think about it daily.

There's something comforting about a security blanket. I had my exit bag rig set up when I was here 2 years ago, then I found that doctor who rescued me from my pain. But during the entire 2 years I got to enjoy life, the knowledge that sooner or later the federal government would come for my doctor, just like they're doing to all pain doctors, was always in the back of my mind. And past the dread of losing my meds and the life I've rebuilt, there was the knowledge I have an eject button. And now, here I am. I'm sad, I'm angry that I'm back in this position for no good reason, but at the same time, I feel like I've come back around to the inevitable. And unlike last time, I don't think there will be a last-minute reprieve this time.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

I'm pleased you got your order. I had order cancelled by supplier in Ukraine, can't find any that ships to UK. Looks like you got it just in time.

 

[justanotherstar]

Congrats on getting your SN. I imagine you are so relieved but I hear your worries about the police. I have the same worries as I'm waiting on my SN package. Walking around terrified I will get a knock at the door any moment - as thanatonaut suggested I have also ordered some nitrate to hand over if anyone does come knocking. Wishing you the best

 

[Disco Biscuit]

Oh I know I'm nothing significant, but there have been other users on SS who got visits from the police after receiving the SN, and as someone who suffers a lot from anxiety attacks, I'm terrified just by the thoughts of the police coming over.

The possession of SN without a license is illegal in the UK, yes.

Mine arrived in the UK from Russia a couple of months ago. It has NaNO2 written on the label and the website address of the chemical distributor. It never occurred to me that I might get a police visit so I never worried about it. I'm even less worried now.

The chances of it happening are so tiny that it's not worth your energy. If you were to tell someone you had it in your possession and what your plans are, then you might have something to worry about. Even then though, they're not to arrest you for it.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Mine arrived in the UK from Russia a couple of months ago. It has NaNO written on the label and the website address of the chemical distributor. It never occurred to me that I might get a police visit so I never worried about it. I'm even less worried now.

The chances of it happening are so tiny that it's not worth your energy. If you were to tell someone you had it in your possession and what your plans are, then you might have something to worry about. Even then though, they're not to arrest you for it.

What this poster said is more or less good advice if you are in your average western / "free" country. The standard MO of law enforcement on recreational drug use is to leave alone small users as long as they don't become a problem for the community or broadcast what they are doing to the whole world. What good does it do to throw you in prison if you are using behind closed doors? unless someone is out to get you then you'll be left alone . Now of course SN isn't a recreational drug but it will be treated the same way.