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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
Related to my previous post a long time ago:

I'm ordering SN again. What would be a dosage that wouldn't leave kill me or leave me with permanent damage? I want to die, I just don't have the balls to actually do it.

What would be a dosage that would land me in the hospital (my friends/family) would call 1-5 minutes after ingestion, maybe even before. Ambulance would take 5-10 minutes to get here. I'd write in my arm the antidote (ANTIDOTE: METHYLENE BLUE). I do want to completely pass out though, I don't want to remember or see anything until I'm already laying in a hospital bed.

I was thinking 2-4g, but I need some input. I really need to do this call for help, nothing else is working.

Thanks a lot..
 
NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,746
DO NOT ingest SN unless you're 100% willing to die at the time. DO NOT.

There is no "safe dose" of SN.

 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,446
Also u doing this will call more attention to Sn as a suicide method which will allow them to Crack down and restrict Sn for everyone who is suffering extremely and unbearably .u r just helping them ban sn for everyone and u in the future if u may want to buy sn again in 10 years

there are people in extreme torture who have to kill themselves now . Banning sn is torturing millions that are suffering or will suffer a billion times worse torture than anyone can imagine

If u want to go to their prison hospital so badly just call 911 or emergency or a help line and tell them u want to kill yourself with another plan like jumping under a truck ( im not saying try this just lie and say u will so that they put u in a mental hospital which is what u say u want without banning sn for the world

It's very selfish of u to use everyone the hospital etc and take away sn for everyone
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
DO NOT ingest SN unless you're 100% willing to die at the time. DO NOT.

There is no "safe dose" of SN.

I already read the entirety of that thread. With my friends telling them the exact thing I ingested and the antidote, and them acting in 5 minutes, it should be a lot better than those other posts.
Also u doing this will call more attention to Sn as a suicide method which will allow them to Crack down and restrict Sn for everyone who is suffering extremely and unbearable.u r just helping them ban sn for everyone and u in the future if u may want to buy sn again
seems selfish to say this to someone who is also in pain. I don't want to slit my wrists, I don't have enough benzos for a partial attempt. I want to be dead, but I don't want to die.
 
pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,446
I already read the entirety of that thread. With my friends telling them the exact thing I ingested and the antidote, and them acting in 5 minutes, it should be a lot better than those other posts.

seems selfish to say this to someone who is also in pain. I don't want to slit my wrists, I don't have enough benzos for a partial attempt. I want to be dead, but I don't want to die.
It's very selfish of u to use everyone the hospital etc and take away sn for everyone

If u want to go to their prison hospital so badly just call 911 or emergency or a help line and tell them u want to kill yourself with another plan like jumping under a truck ( im not saying try this just lie and say u will so that they put u in a mental hospital which is what u say u want without banning sn for the world . That's still using the hospital etc on false pretenses but at least u won't help ban sn for the millions who are suffering extremely or will suffer extremely

Ur helping them ban sn for u too if u would want it in the future

There are millions of people suffering extreme torture and u r helping them ban SN
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
Else, please recommend any other partial attempt methods. I don't have access to fent or to heroin or to any opioid unfortunately, I already thought of that, I even have narcan myself.
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,723
but do understand that they'll confiscate the SN and you'll probably never be able to get your hands on it again?

getting committed isn't necessarily the help you think it might be. there's going to be eyes on you henceforth and life will get a lot harder.

don't expect sympathy and compassion from these Healthcare workers or professionals.to most of them it's just a job.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
453
If you're seriously thinking about ending your life, the safest and most direct step is to go to the emergency department and be completely honest. Tell them that you're planning to harm yourself, and that if you're sent home without help, you believe you'll follow through. You can also speak frankly with your psychiatrist or psychologist and let them know you're at risk and need urgent support.
It's the responsible and safest thing to do.
It ensures you get help before an attempt, rather than risking a method that could go very wrong, very fast. Substances like SN are unpredictable and lethal even in small amounts, and once it's done, there's no going back unless you do get that antidote in time and you can never calculate the response time for anything.

By reaching out properly, you're also helping make sure that emergency services and medical resources are used in the best way possible. Getting help early means less crisis later, for you and for others. I know it's hard, and it might feel pointless, but asking for help directly gives you the best chance of getting the support you deserve.
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
If u want to go to their prison hospital so badly just call 911 or emergency or a help line and tell them u want to kill yourself with another plan like jumping under truck ( im not saying try this just lie and say u will so that they put u in a mental hospital which is what u say u want without banning sn for the world
I had an attempt a few days ago. I was completely conscient of what I did and they cannot commit me if I'm sane (don't talk about a plan, etc). They need a judge to approve that, and that's mostly for psychotic people who hurt themselves or others.
but do understand that they'll confiscate the SN and you'll probably never be able to get your hands on it again?

getting committed isn't necessarily the help you think it might be. there's going to be eyes on you henceforth and life will get a lot harder.

don't expect sympathy and compassion from these Healthcare workers or professionals.
I've gotten 500g of it already twice. It's stashed in around 30 bottles of 5 grams everywhere. My room, public places, buried in airtight bottles... Getting it isn't a problem. I got commited once, it was absolute torture. It's a call for help from my abusive parents, who keep telling me to kill myself just because I'm trans and because they just hate me.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
453
My room, public places, buried in airtight bottles...
PUBLIC PLACES? Could you please consider not involving innocent people in your plans? What if a child were to come across it? Jesus Christ...
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,746
PUBLIC PLACES? Could you please consider not involving innocent people in your plans? What if a child were to come across it? Jesus Christ...
Children, pets, wild animals.
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,723
I had an attempt a few days ago. I was completely conscient of what I did and they cannot commit me if I'm sane (don't talk about a plan, etc). They need a judge to approve that, and that's mostly for psychotic people who hurt themselves or others.

I've gotten 500g of it already twice. It's stashed in around 30 bottles of 5 grams everywhere. My room, public places, buried in airtight bottles... Getting it isn't a problem. I got commited once, it was absolute torture. It's a call for help from my abusive parents, who keep telling me to kill myself just because I'm trans and because they just hate me.


I don't think you can use SN for this. 1g can kill you. don't do it.
 
gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
I don't think you can use SN for this. 1g can kill you. don't do it.
so what should i do, what should I use. I want to use something chemical. I can't find a plug to sell me opioids, so this is kinda my only option.
so what should i do, what should I use. I want to use something chemical. I can't find a plug to sell me opioids, so this is kinda my only option.
I know benzos + ketamine or alcohol with any depressant could work, but I don't have access to too many benzos and I'm scared they'll remove them from my prescription (even though they help a lot)
I'mjust asking for any method, any method at all that I can make my friends make the ER call or me but not die, or at least not try to die. Please
I don't think you can use SN for this. 1g can kill you. don't do it.
I mean you need to be treated very slowly in order to die from 1g or have a preeexisting condition from what I've read.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
453
Children, pets, wild animals.
I'm pretty upset by their blatant disregard for their surroundings and willingness to risk many people and creatures just to seek attention.

There are roughly a hundred other ways to get help—this is definitely not one of them.
 
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bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,723
It's a call for help from my abusive parents, who keep telling me to kill myself just because I'm trans and because they just hate me.
those assholes. I get where you're coming from I suppose. you're trying to get them to back off.

I'm sorry about this.that's a terrible situation.

Also I hope all of your hidden SN isn't accessible to anyone else. I would suggest removing it from other places and just hiding a bit somewhere accessible to only you.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
453
OP, I see you're from Spain.
Spain has both voluntary and involuntary admission.

You'd just need to go to your GP or straight to A&E at a hospital. A psychiatrist would assess you there and, if they think it's needed, they can admit you to a psychiatric unit. This option does NOT need a judge as you claimed before.
If things are more serious (which they seem to be since you can't make decisions clearly), someone else can start an involuntary admission. But you'd need to call the police or something and just tell them you're going to do something to yourself. In that case, a psychiatrist would still assess you first, and then a judge has to approve it within 72 hours to make sure everything's done properly and legally.

Spains public healthcare covers psychiatric care.
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
PUBLIC PLACES? Could you please consider not involving innocent people in your plans? What if a child were to come across it? Jesus Christ...
I think you didn't understand what you meant by public places. I meant for example in my university locker, not in the middle of a park, jesus christ... With public places i meant outside my home.

Could you please help me, please? I'm convinced. SN is dangerous. I can still cancel the order, but I need alternatives. I don't want to call any hotline, I want to get picked up at my home.
 
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,723
mean you need to be treated very slowly in order to die from 1g or have a preeexisting condition from what I've read.
I know that if they treat you then you'll be fine even from much larger doses. I just wouldn't trust these guys in general. there are some doctors in my family and I have the craziest horror stories about hospitals.


Edit:wait why are you ordering SN again when you hid away so much of it?
 
gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
OP, I see you're from Spain.
Spain has both voluntary and involuntary admission.

You'd just need to go to your GP or straight to A&E at a hospital. A psychiatrist would assess you there and, if they think it's needed, they can admit you to a psychiatric unit. This option does NOT need a judge as you claimed before.
If things are more serious (which they seem to be since you can't make decisions clearly), someone else can start an involuntary admission. But you'd need to call the police or something and just tell them you're going to do something to yourself. In that case, a psychiatrist would still assess you first, and then a judge has to approve it within 72 hours to make sure everything's done properly and legally.

Spains public healthcare covers psychiatric care.
Yes, they could, if I showed a plan, a date, and the medium to do it. This would be impulsive, I wouldn't get involuntarily admitted, I've read all of my past psych records, I just have BPD, PDD, and last attempt was just an "autolitic act" without any planning. Also, no, GPs aren't available on-call here. Everything is done by the hospital. GPs and hospitals are completely different things.

I'm just looking for alternatives or for a relatively safe dose. I wouldn't let anyone else touch the SN, of course, it'd be extremely hidden and stashed. I could even print a label with my label printer that says poison. I have a pet but I doubt it can reach a 2 meter bookcase, also the bottles are childproof and plastic -- they wouldn't break if they fell
I know that if they treat you then you'll be fine even from much larger doses. I just wouldn't trust these guys in general. there are some doctors in my family and I have the craziest horror stories about hospitals.


Edit:wait why are you ordering SN again when you hid away so much of it?
I hid it so well I couldn't find it again. Stupid mistake, this time I'm noting every single vial, the big bottle, everything.
But this is why I say if my friends tell them the antidote and what I injected they could have it ready at the ambulance, and I'd be pretty fine in 1-2g dosages. Ambulances are fast here. I just don't want to keep ODing on my benzos bc i'll get taken off them and I kinda need them to be normal some times, and I cannot stash it bc my GP fucked up. I don't plan on taking any antiemetic either, so if I just throw up even better
But this is why I say if my friends tell them the antidote and what I injected they could have it ready at the ambulance, and I'd be pretty fine in 1-2g dosages. Ambulances are fast here. I just don't want to keep ODing on my benzos bc i'll get taken off them and I kinda need them to be normal some times, and I cannot stash it bc my GP fucked up. I don't plan on taking any antiemetic either, so if I just throw up even better
If I could I'd do opiate ODs, I have narcan with me in case I panic, my friends have narcan with them, and they do have that in ambulances
 
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Dqope

Dqope

Member
Aug 21, 2023
43
Related to my previous post a long time ago:

I'm ordering SN again. What would be a dosage that wouldn't leave kill me or leave me with permanent damage? I want to die, I just don't have the balls to actually do it.

What would be a dosage that would land me in the hospital (my friends/family) would call 1-5 minutes after ingestion, maybe even before. Ambulance would take 5-10 minutes to get here. I'd write in my arm the antidote (ANTIDOTE: METHYLENE BLUE). I do want to completely pass out though, I don't want to remember or see anything until I'm already laying in a hospital bed.

I was thinking 2-4g, but I need some input. I really need to do this call for help, nothing else is working.

Thanks a lot..
Why tf would you do that? This whole thread looks like rage bait and your replies just validate that.

Are you just so selfish and such a attention whore? Sorry if this comes off a bit strong but why would you put everyone under more stress (life nowadays is stressful enough). You dont have an ounce of compassion? I really dont understand people like you and I never will. Or get help or don't or go though it or just be alive. Think about it and make a wise decision. But I guess that isn't your one of your strengths...
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,746
The way to get help is not to fake a suicide attempt which could easily kill you when you wanted help instead.

All of this is selfish and idiotic. At best, you're wasting emergency resources. At worst, you die.
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
Because I'm seriously suffering and nobody takes me seriously. Nobody takes my pain seriously. I feel like this is the only way to snap back to reality, After the first attempt, my mother started calling me by fem pronouns, which is nice, I'm just curious if it'd be possible to do a partial attempt with SN. I plan on comitting, maybe some day, but I'm too scared now.
The way to get help is not to fake a suicide attempt which could easily kill you when you wanted help instead.

All of this is selfish and idiotic. At best, you're wasting emergency resources. At worst, you die.
I think if I died I'd be well with it too. I just need to do BPD impulsive shit. I wish I could control it. I just want to be as safe as I can so when I go into an episode I don't kill myself on accident by taking idk 10 grams
Because I'm seriously suffering and nobody takes me seriously. Nobody takes my pain seriously. I feel like this is the only way to snap back to reality, After the first attempt, my mother started calling me by fem pronouns, which is nice, I'm just curious if it'd be possible to do a partial attempt with SN. I plan on comitting, maybe some day, but I'm too scared now.

I think if I died I'd be well with it too. I just need to do BPD impulsive shit. I wish I could control it. I just want to be as safe as I can so when I go into an episode I don't kill myself on accident by taking idk 10 grams
I'm just asking for alternatives for partial attempts, I know it's attention seeking, but I feel like I need it right now. I feel suicidal but I don't want to die.
Because I'm seriously suffering and nobody takes me seriously. Nobody takes my pain seriously. I feel like this is the only way to snap back to reality, After the first attempt, my mother started calling me by fem pronouns, which is nice, I'm just curious if it'd be possible to do a partial attempt with SN. I plan on comitting, maybe some day, but I'm too scared now.

I think if I died I'd be well with it too. I just need to do BPD impulsive shit. I wish I could control it. I just want to be as safe as I can so when I go into an episode I don't kill myself on accident by taking idk 10 grams

I'm just asking for alternatives for partial attempts, I know it's attention seeking, but I feel like I need it right now. I feel suicidal but I don't want to die.
I just think it's the only way my friends and family will take me seriously. They think all my problems comes from being trans. They're not, I want to show them that my mother telling me to kill myself has consecuences, even if it's just a scare. I know I waste valuable resources, and I'm really sorry, but I truly need help right now.
 
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ObsidianEnigma

ObsidianEnigma

Member
Jun 27, 2025
16
I'm just curious if it'd be possible to do a partial attempt with SN.
No, this is *not* possible.

I am not sure if there is any thread here with more resources about partial attempts, but there is *no* save way to partially kill yourself. You always risk your life. Please bear in mind that some 'fake' attempts can have long term health consequences / make you disabled.

Try to find the courage to make the call.
 
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gvmi

gvmi

Losing my sanity, and scared
Nov 9, 2023
49
I am already decided on doing it, just wanted to know how safe it is if you survive compared to other methods on a low dose and fast er time
 
S

SeekingSerenity

Just another lost soul looking for answers
May 20, 2020
73
Why tf would you do that? This whole thread looks like rage bait and your replies just validate that.

Are you just so selfish and such a attention whore? Sorry if this comes off a bit strong but why would you put everyone under more stress (life nowadays is stressful enough). You dont have an ounce of compassion? I really dont understand people like you and I never will. Or get help or don't or go though it or just be alive. Think about it and make a wise decision. But I guess that isn't your one of your strengths...
I agree. The way OP worded the initial post and subsequent responses makes me think this is either rage bait or just a bad attempt at getting attention. There are two many inconsistencies throughout the thread, for example, why do you need to order more if you have various stockpiles? I don't buy it honestly. OP I'm truly sorry for the pain you are in, but this isn't the right way to go about dealing with it.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,349
U r obvs v v v despr8 bt ppl cnnt tll u wht u shld d/ or sggest methds fr slf sabtge

Also fr thse ppl talking abt riskng frum & sourcs whle slf undrstnd th/ anxty arnd tht OP lfe = mre importnt thn a frum imo

OP hve u evr tld psychs tht u hve an actul pln tht u intnd on carryng out - tht wll oftn caus psychs t/ tke thngs sersly - u cld cll EMS & tll thm tht u hve SN thre wth u tht u r plannng on takng & thy wll snd sme1 arnd

Evn if u r nt follwng thru wth an attmpt u hve stll shwn tht u hve mde plannng & prepratns & sourcd mterials etc


Perhps thre r sme trnsgendr rsourcs in ur cntry lke famlies wh/ tke in abusd trnsgendr ppl etc - serch thru chartis or ask ppl in netwrk & perhps sme1 cn hlp u

 
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claracatchingthebus

Member
Jun 22, 2025
24
Because I'm seriously suffering and nobody takes me seriously. Nobody takes my pain seriously. I feel like this is the only way to snap back to reality, After the first attempt, my mother started calling me by fem pronouns, which is nice, I'm just curious if it'd be possible to do a partial attempt with SN. I plan on comitting, maybe some day, but I'm too scared now.

I think if I died I'd be well with it too. I just need to do BPD impulsive shit. I wish I could control it. I just want to be as safe as I can so when I go into an episode I don't kill myself on accident by taking idk 10 grams

I'm just asking for alternatives for partial attempts, I know it's attention seeking, but I feel like I need it right now. I feel suicidal but I don't want to die.

I just think it's the only way my friends and family will take me seriously. They think all my problems comes from being trans. They're not, I want to show them that my mother telling me to kill myself has consecuences, even if it's just a scare. I know I waste valuable resources, and I'm really sorry, but I truly need help right now.
You seem to be vastly overestimating how easy it is to be involuntarily or voluntarily committed.

I feel like if I talked to a psychiatrist and sneezed the wrong way they would hold me, which is why I avoid psychiatrists.

Involuntary hospitals are horrible places that often do not help people. They are extremely boring and limit your ways of communicating or having entertainment.


Can you find a trans support group or something that doesn't involve being involuntarily drugged so you wind up with uncontrollable facial movements?

If you really want to tango with an exploitative den of rattle snakes, why the fuck don't you just call emergency services and say you're considering slitting your throat, then when they talk to you say they should NOT send emergency services, then tell them "I shouldn't have called. I've decided to do it. Please don't send anyone, I'll already be dead." Then hang up.

You don't have to actually even break the skin, just hold a knife to your throat or wrist so it looks like you've started a wait for them to break in.

Or say your plan is to hang yourself and let them find you in the noose.

"Hi emergency services. I am considering hanging myself and would like to know of services... Actually never mind I shouldn't have called, I am just going to do it. Don't send anyone, it will be too late." hang up

Both of these things honestly seem dramatic. I could walk into an emergency room, say I'm sad and need to see psych, and complain of a headache and get locked up for years.

I would not fuck with psych. Death is OK, life is OK, but psych is not. It's by far the worst option.
 
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razor543

razor543

quetiapine <3
Dec 23, 2024
44
as someone who survived a sn attempt. please don't do it. It doesn't take a lot of sn to die and if you do end up surviving, you'll have possible permanent health issues.
 
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