SN Attempt: April 12 at 1 AM EST *UPDATE*

[elfonashelf]

Hey everyone! Now that I'm in a better state of mind, I thought I'd give a thorough update (This was too long to put as a status update, sorry!). I took everything up to the actual SN (30mg Metoclopramide, 800mg Tagamet), but right before I was supposed to take it, I had a mini panic attack and scarfed down an entire leftover pizza. I tend to eat uncontrollably when stressed. I decided against taking the SN because I was already nauseous from the pizza and I didn't want to risk puking it all up. I am happy to say that I feel like I will be less anxious the next time I attempt because I was terrified of getting seizures from the meto, but I did not have any reaction from it other than a bit of a stomachache (but that was also from the anxiety and nothing new). The reason I haven't responded until now is because I was ashamed and didn't want to face you all. Thank you for all your kind words. I do not think live-chatting the process was good for my mind and contributed to my stress, so I will probably not doing it when I attempt again in the next few days. I apologize for letting you all down and/or confusing you in any way. If I'm not on after Easter, then I'm definitely dead.

 

[Psilo]

Aaaahhhh those damn italians and their delicious pizzas. I think I would have done the same thing....

 

[NextSummer]

Thanks for letting us know that you are fine.

 

[Zeus]

Thank you for this elfonashelf - I am sure everyone appreciates your honesty. I wish you luck for next time.

 

[littlelady774]

Absolutely no shame @elfonashelf
Glad to see you back and are fine

 

[Raggas]

Welcome back, thanks for letting us know about your status.

 

[Final Escape]

Glad u are ok. You don't have to be ashamed. We are all a little wacked on this site lol! Ok sorry not to insult other people here. I think I'm definitely not completely altogether there. Or suffer with insane thinking, maybe black n white thinking it's called. It's tough to try to take yourself out, and many people don't plan well bc it's often not completely thought through. It's tough to actually plan and execute your own demise. U really gotta be in right frame of mind, or maybe the wrong frame of mind lol!

 

[Jessica-]

Hey @elfonashelf, suicides are hard, that SI bitch never leave us alone. Don't be ashamed, you should be proud of yourself for coming back and updating us which is much more responsible and admirable than those ( there are many I have noticed despite being here for a relatively short time) who fake their deaths and register a new account making everyone thinks they are dead.

Please take rest, regroup and take your time. I sincerely wish you the best !

 

[TAW122]

Thanks for letting us know that you are still around. We will be around here when you need us for support, whether it is to recover or go through with your (future) attempts. Survival instinct is definitely a bitch and it's not uncommon to fail or hesitate even at the last moment. I'm glad that nothing serious such as being found out, locked up, or permanent damage resulted from your attempt and I wish you the best in whatever you decide around Easter or the future.