SN arrived. The deliberating begins.

[zephenix]

IC arrived 2 days ago. Just got back from a trip to say goodbye to the one person I will miss the most, and now the deliberating begins. I'm tired of taking all these pills every day to feel level-minded. I'm tired of all the brutality this life has thrown at me and all the tragedies and deaths I've faced the past couple of years. I've told my therapist that life feels so nihilistic, and it's true. I already take prescribed quetiapine for sleep (not that it works), so I've got that taken care of. Now the notes and deliberations begin.

I wonder if my friend who CTBed mid Jan was here. I miss him a lot.

 

[Hystearical]

Well, take your time. Reflect carefully and don't pressure yourself into anything. Luckily SN keeps for a while so there's no urgency in that sense.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least with having the SN you now have a reliable way to exit for when the time is right, you aren't so trapped here anymore. I can imagine it must be a relief to have a way to escape this cruel world that is filled with endless suffering.

 

[GasMonkey]

I wonder if my friend who CTBed mid Jan was here

What method did he use?

 

[zephenix]

What method did he use?

I don't even know. I haven't had the bandwidth to ask but i'm thinking gun