SN arrived, but I can’t leave yet.

[onceuponadec]

My SN arrived today and I have been anticipating this event for a long time, but I can't ctb yet.

I am waiting for my GPS to pass first, as I want to follow them, but waiting is hard. In addition on Monday my GM fell and broke her hip. She is ok, but will need rehab and someone to help her as she heals. My GD has mentally declined due to a stroke and needs care as well.

I feel so stressed from this and more. I don't know why God had dealt us this hand, but I just want them both to get better and peace

Sorry for venting, it's just too much right now and I can't use my bud ticket to escape.

 

[lost&lonely]

I feel for you, I looked after my dad who had Alzheimer's for two and a half years and I fought so hard with my internal demons to ensure I fulfilled my promise to him.
He has gone now, the only parent I had left, and I am in the process of finding ways to ctb after two previous attempts failed.
I feel as though I have lost any purpose now and just want it all end.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be extremely tiring having to deal with all that when you just want to be gone. At least you have the option of SN for when the time is right, I think that those who have SN right now are fortunate but I understand why you would feel so stressed. After all there is simply nothing fair about this life but anyway I wish you the best of luck.

 

[onceuponadec]

It must be extremely tiring having to deal with all that when you just want to be gone. At least you have the option of SN for when the time is right, I think that those who have SN right now are fortunate but I understand why you would feel so stressed. After all there is simply nothing fair about this life but anyway I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks, it's just a lot right now. It's a relief to know that I can leave one day

 

[riamu]

there's no rush, sn has an expiration date of around two years so you have time. better to spend a few more months alive than die with regrets, at least in my opinion. but i hope you can get peace soon

 

[sunsetting]

No need to worry at the moment it's ok. It's a relief that the key to exit the pain you've endured for so long finally arrived just have a bit more patience and it will all go well. Your grandparents must have given you so much love and it shows in your post.