And I don't like some of my classmates
This exactly. I did not mind the curriculum much, it's just that my classmates made the environment more toxic than it should have! They are secretive with information, form cliques, and competitive in recitations. Competition could be a healthy thing, but it wasn't, and it was draining to deal with mean people all day every day, it felt like I was back in fucking high school with how immature they could be, and I was stuck thinking "I'd rather be dead than here." i don't understand what made me stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd there, i know i am intensely introverted and the fault might be mine, but i didn't feel so isolated in college even if i was myself. I teach college biochem and histology now. I'm not as stressed out as I was in there and my coworkers are actually nice chill people. I still study the human body, focusing on two lessons a week rather than 5+ a week like back in medschool. Still, the grass is not greener here. I still think of what I just let go and have to fight to distract myself to not spiral in regret. So...some parts are better, some are not.
Thanks for the well wishes and this nice conversation. I am trying to love myself despite my failures. I wish you success with your journey, I am glad to hear that you're at least not so miserable that you're cursing medschool every second, like I was. nothing but respect to people who go through there. But more than success, happiness.
