Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I basically slept off and on all day until about 5 PM… as I do now everyday… Its the closest thing to nonexistence…
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
What time did you go "to sleep"?? With only knowing what time you woke up, I have no time frame to reference how long you were asleep. How many hours did you sleep/were you in bed?
 
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asadghostgirl

asadghostgirl

Member
Oct 11, 2022
10
I basically slept off and on all day until about 5 PM… as I do now everyday… Its the closest thing to nonexistence…
Do you feel like it's a fatigue, or just an avoidance of the day? It's hard to tell- I feel like one or the other and sometimes both. I just wondered what your main sleep motivation was.
 
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L

lonelyflyinginsect

Member
Mar 23, 2022
34
Yeah same here. I always had trouble sleeping. No matter at what time I go to bed, I actually sleep only after an hour or two.

Most of the year, I stay alone in my room, doing a bit of work-from-home. Hardly go outside, like 20-25 times a year including the mandatory family functions/weddings.

I cry a lot seeing myself become a loser, waste of resources. This year (since the time I started thinking of CTB), I started sleeping late (forcing myself to watch anything on TV or play video game) and waking up late because if I try to go to bed early, I end up crying for good 20-30 minutes.
Also, if I sleep early (I mean, earlier than I was supposed to) then I also wake-up early, leaving me alone with more lonely time and hence starting a day with tears, not a great start to any day.

It's a strange cycle.

So, now I just try to give myself as less lonley times as possible by sleeping and waking at odd hours.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
What time did you go "to sleep"?? With only knowing what time you woke up, I have no time frame to reference how long you were asleep. How many hours did you sleep/were you in bed?
Went to sleep midnight the night before
Do you feel like it's a fatigue, or just an avoidance of the day? It's hard to tell- I feel like one or the other and sometimes both. I just wondered what your main sleep motivation was.
Existential fatigue
 
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almaranthine

almaranthine

Wizard
Nov 28, 2019
616
Sleep is my only real comfort anymore. I'm lucky to not have dreams about myself or nightmares about all the mistakes I've made in this life. Usually, it's just black nothingness for me and I covet it. Hopefully, death is just like that but permanent.
 
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PressEnterToExit

PressEnterToExit

How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
I wish I could sleep the whole day, sleeping is the only thing that makes sense to me. When I can't keep dealing with reality I smoke a joint take lorazepam and go to sleep again. I think since I am a teenager, sleeping is the only thing I am really interested in. When I was younger I could sleep even more than now.. I always found that this is the better state for suicidal people.
I love sleeping listening to rain sounds. I just imagine am in the woods and stay quiet awake or sleeping but far away from my reality.
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
Im Sorry, yes I went to sleep at around 5am, woke at like 10pm, so I can understand. Is sleeping 16-18h something you do often or not so much? I personally think I do it because of severe depression and wanting to avoid a truly miserable existence. like sleep gives me a break from suffering.
the best break I can get. Seems like normal people just sleep a few hours.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,187
I envy those who are able to spend a large amount of their life sleeping, I wish I could sleep more, as sleeping can be like a relief from ourselves and our thoughts in a way and is the best way to pass time but temporary sleep where we experience dreams is not enough of a relief for me, I mean how could it be when the chance of waking up is always there. Only permanent eternal sleep could ever be ideal as it's freedom from this world filled with endless cruelty.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Im Sorry, yes I went to sleep at around 5am, woke at like 10pm, so I can understand. Is sleeping 16-18h something you do often or not so much? I personally think I do it because of severe depression and wanting to avoid a truly miserable existence. like sleep gives me a break from suffering.
the best break I can get. Seems like normal people just sleep a few hours.
I sleep as much as possible… The ultimate form of infantilization… back to the womb
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,537
I wish I could sleep a lot---but in the daytime can't do it anymore--Tried 4 times yesterday
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,006
true
sleeping is like dying
 
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toasterbath

toasterbath

.
Jun 26, 2022
254
just hoping that one day i don't wake up
 
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Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
I wish I could sleep all day like that, though my anxiety prevents it. Even if I take sleeping pills, I still wake up an hour or two later. Sleeping is the easiest way to escape from it all. The only thing that can make it better is if I master lucid dreaming.
 
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R

RUPA

Student
Oct 19, 2022
106
That's what I have been doing for a week. But it feels so terrible and terrifying when waking up. I dearly wish I died during sleep. For a week, I almost haven't eaten anything, just sleeping and between sleep and awake with no appetite at all. but as a week passed, my effing stomach started to feel hungry and growl. I despise this hunger. I have no hunger/appetite for life at all!!! Why I still feel this hunger. I loathe the human bodily form that I am trapped in.
 
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W

Why Me?

Experienced
Apr 5, 2022
270
I can sleep alot, but not too much because I'll start feeling sick. If it wasn't for the weather, and some other things, I would CTB right now, because I really want to. I want to make sure the right time will guarantee my success.
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
I have really been sleeping away most all my time. I'm sometimes awake less than 12h per day. I can sleep a lot and once sleeping I'll wake occasionally and fall right back to sleep. But waking up is NEVER pleasant. I always feel horrible when I wake up, plus life sucks so much that sleeping is preferable, so when I have to wake... its not pretty.
 
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