Discussion ¿single?

[O_oreo.]

Sometimes I don't understand or can't understand, I'm 20, I'm supposed to have had a partner by now, but no one talks to me, it's frustrating, or they only talk to me for one thing.
It's sad to see that my value to society is represented in my body, although I'm not pretty, I admit my face is a 3/10, I know I'm too young to say it, but all my acquaintances, family, friends have already had that, and believe me even if I don't want to, I feel "backward".
maybe it's paranoia, but i feel that men look at me with dislike, or those who approach me i don't like, i'm not attracted to them and they harass me.
I have also fallen in love but only with men who love me as a friend, and no one has been able to help me solve or give meaning to what is happening, only with the phrase "you don't love yourself, what's the hurry?
but they don't notice that I don't see myself as a potential partner, I would be ashamed to be with me, it's sometimes the loneliness...although it hurts to admit it.

I know this thread is embarrassing but I just wanted to hear some valid commentary, not with things like "the law of attraction" or "energies".
greetings to all.

 

[CassieHoward]

Relationships are seldom easy, especially when, and sorry to be generic, you aren't in the best headspace. I can understand where you're coming from, of course - it's a bit nervous to enter relationships when you're not quite trustworthy of people and because of whatever past experiences you may have had with relationships and men/women. It's disheartening to break down relationships with the ones you love because of your mental illness, and it's even worse not to have those feelings reciprocated when you are finally feeling brave enough to admit them to yourself.

I hope you are feeling alright.

 

[O_oreo.]

by state of mind do you mean my low self-esteem and depression?
by state of mind do you mean my low self-esteem and depression?
I just want to experience at least once that someone loves me and reciprocates that.

 

[CassieHoward]

by state of mind do you mean my low self-esteem and depression?
by state of mind do you mean my low self-esteem and depression?
I just want to experience at least once that someone loves me and reciprocates that.

Sure, that's one thing - could also reference a lack of trust, a lack of interest in relationships, etc. I would never assume how you're feeling / what you're thinking.

I like to believe that there's someone out there for everyone. Some may say this is a bit naive, but I don't think it's anything worse than hopeful.

 

[PurpleMonkey]

I'm supposed to have had a partner by now

I'm not privy to your cultural/legal surroundings but know that you are not "meant" to be anything you don't want to be. If, without any personal pressures, you'd be comfortable being single then that's a commendable status. If you want a partner then take your time and seek him out but not to achieve some supposedly required milestone but to acquire a loving partner who respects you as you.

The world isn't a caliphate. The value of your life shouldn't rest on your relationship status.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Similar boat. Honestly I'm just very jaded about the whole game that we all partake in, involuntarily. Everyone chases the prettiest the richest the funniest whatever it may be. The majority go after a minority who enjoy some kind of top position. That's how it feels to me. It doesn't feel like a fair game where everyone has someone perfect for them and we all have an equal standing. I participate in the same game admiring a 'top' woman and I think it's so lame of me. I don't know how to escape it though. It's another bothersome aspect of existence which I would enjoy leaving behind through death.

 

[O_oreo.]

it's hard to believe comments like: wait until you have a partner.
when you are aware that if someone was with you it would be because that person had no other choice.