Since when did you start to feel like not wanting to live anymore?

[Zoya]

Every time I know more about the world, it seems more horrible to me. We are indecipherable phenomena.

I think I've reached my limit, I hate humans, even myself. We are just destructive beings, we say that we always improve but it is not true. The one who created existence really should have done something better because we are as indefinite as our life purpose. I apologize if I offend someone, but my anger is so great when I see my reality. Too bad I still don't have the courage for Ctb; (

If your life were different, would you still want to end it?

Since when did you stop feeling the love of others?

If you had the power to change humanity, what would it be like?

 

[WornOutLife]

Since I was 12 but somehow, I managed to "face" life thanks to my parents and friends. I have many regrets but also had great experiences.
Now, I'm 33, and I think I've had more than enough.

I think I can still love, but I don't want to, just in case.

If life was different I might be interested in keeping on living.

If I had the power to change humanity, I'd just make suicide legal all over the world and try to help economically to everyone, no poverty. That's enough.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Title
A - 14. (you know when i was 16 that didnt seem so bad but now that im 21.....wow id feel horrible if i meet a 14yo that felt as bad as i did......)

If your life were different, would you still want to end it?

A - different how? externally my life isnt too bad, certainly nothing to kill myself over so no need to change that. if my past was different......maybe....probably not. difficult to say. im fairly confident i was born with some of my disorders but for the most part i was a happy child, of course being born with my disorders its hard to say what could have possibly set me off in the future or maybe nothing at all. but..really.....i dont think i want to change anything, not even the abuse (although i wish the people that did it handled it differently, like my mom admitting and saying "yeah ive got problems", i would have been accepting, understanding, not in the mental state i am today. she could have been ok we could still be a family but noooooooo) i just feel that if things changed to much then i wouldnt be me and.....i kinda like my diverse personality

Since when did you stop feeling the love of others?

A - yes and no......with the disorders i have sometimes im more confident they hate me but sometimes i know they love me

If you had the power to change humanity, what would it be like?

A - less judgmental and more understanding. (at least i think thats what you meant by "change humanity" lol)

 

[watereyes]

I never felt like wanting to live. ever. Oh shit. why am i still alive then?

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Humanity needs to be less self-centered, cruel, and materialistic. Maybe then I'd stay alive...

 

[Zoya]

Title
A - 14. (you know when i was 16 that didnt seem so bad but now that im 21.....wow id feel horrible if i meet a 14yo that felt as bad as i did......)

I think you are not far from finding them

diferente como? externamente mi vida no es tan mala, ciertamente no hay nada por lo que suicidarme, así que no hay necesidad de cambiar eso. si mi pasado fue diferente ... quizás ... probablemente no. dificil de decir. Estoy bastante seguro de que nací con algunos de mis trastornos, pero en su mayor parte era un niño feliz, por supuesto que nací con mis trastornos, es difícil decir qué podría haberme desencadenado en el futuro o tal vez nada en absoluto. pero ... realmente ... no creo que quiera cambiar nada, ni siquiera el abuso (aunque deseo que las personas que lo hicieron lo manejen de manera diferente, como mi mamá admitiendo y diciendo "sí, tengo problemas", he estado aceptando , entendiendo, no en el estado mental que tengo hoy. Ella podría haber estado bien, podríamos seguir siendo una familia, pero noooooooo) Solo siento que si las cosas cambiaran mucho, entonces no sería yo y .....

Sorry for the abuse
I'm glad you came to the conclusion that you don't need to change anything

menos crítico y más comprensivo. (al menos creo que eso es lo que quisiste decir con "cambiar la humanidad" jajaja)

If that was what I meant by changing humanity

 

[Frauw]

Whatever date I fell out of my maternal unit was

 

[Zoya]

Desde que tenía 12 años pero de alguna manera logré "afrontar" la vida gracias a mis padres y amigos. Me arrepiento de muchas cosas pero también tuve grandes experiencias.
Ahora, tengo 33 años y creo que he tenido más que suficiente.

Creo que todavía puedo amar, pero no quiero, por si acaso.

Si la vida fuera diferente, me interesaría seguir viviendo.

Si tuviera el poder de cambiar a la humanidad, simplemente legalizaría el suicidio en todo el mundo y trataría de ayudar económicamente a todos, no a la pobreza. Eso es suficiente.

I get it. And here I will be supporting your way to tranquility <3 They are good wishes to change humanity

 

[nicetomeetu]

Since when did you stop feeling the love of others?

Well, its hard to tell, but being unable to give love helps with not wanting it from other people.
Which can be good, Ive found that, by not loving and not expecting love back, everyday relationships become easier and simpler.
The truth is, its easy to say you love someone but its really hard to actually get to care about another human being.
Also really hard to get people care for you, even if they know about your issues, they will just act worried because thats the natural thing to do and any other reaction looks really bad for them.
Thanks for reading...

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

1. Most likely so. Even without pain and illness I'd still be a slave to the system. Much of life will still be a pointless pursuit of trying keep up with the Joneses.

"You are free to do as we tell you." -Bill Hicks.

2. During the months of unrelenting joint pain. My amour-propre reached an all-time low, to start. Scrolling through forums filled with empty rhetoric, self-righteous bigotry and religious proselytization did NOT help. I decided that I was done with people, or 'normies' as they put it.

The nonconformist in me is unable to connect with a society that abhors death, and is intent on shoving down its pro-life agenda down the throats of the masses to keep the wheels turning.

3. I don't know. I'd start with closing the rich-poor divide for good, and guaranteeing food security for all. However, it won't necessarily put an end to man's pursuit of material goods, or his tendency to compete with his own.

I'd just make suicide legal all over the world

Ditto.

 

[Zoya]

Well, its hard to tell, but being unable to give love helps with not wanting it from other people.
Which can be good, Ive found that, by not loving and not expecting love back, everyday relationships become easier and simpler.
The truth is, its easy to say you love someone but its really hard to actually get to care another human being.
Also really hard to get people care for you, even if they know about your issues, they will just act worried because thats the natural thing to do and any other reaction looks really bad for them.
Thanks for reading...

I understand what you say I like what you said and you are very right

 

[sadworld]

When I was 15 or 14. I knew I didn't want to live till I'm old. And everything kept getting worse...

If your life were different, would you still want to end it?

Mhh... I mean, if my life would be different in a positive way I would probably want to live. I'll still hate humanity but I think it would make things a lot easier.

Since when did you stop feeling the love of others?

I never felt the love of others.

If you had the power to change humanity, what would it be like?

I wish I knew... I think I would make suicide legal and do some other good shit for the world but in my opinion they don't even deserve it. The best thing to happen for the world and universe would probably be human extinction.

 

[AutoTap]

For three years maybe more

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I don't think I've ever really had any drive to live.

 

[Zoya]

Cuando tenía 15 o 14 años, supe que no quería vivir hasta que fuera mayor. Y todo seguía empeorando ...: aw:

Mhh ... Quiero decir, si mi vida fuera diferente de una manera positiva probablemente querría vivir. Todavía odiaré a la humanidad, pero creo que haría las cosas mucho más fáciles.

Nunca sentí el amor de los demás.

Realmente me disculpo por las veces que el mundo no fue bueno contigo, Though I know this is of no consolation. the world the world can or is a shit

Ojalá supiera ... Creo que legalizaría el suicidio y haría otras cosas buenas por el mundo, pero en mi opinión, ni siquiera lo merecen. Lo mejor que le podría pasar al mundo y al universo probablemente sería la extinción humana.

Estoy de acuerdo y me gusta tu punto sobre la extinción de la especie humana. human beings are like plagues.

When I was 15 or 14. I knew I didn't want to live till I'm old. And everything kept getting worse...

Mhh... I mean, if my life would be different in a positive way I would probably want to live. I'll still hate humanity but I think it would make things a lot easier.

I never felt the love of others.

I really do apologize for the times the world was not good to you, even though I know this is of no consolation. the world the world can or is shit

I wish I knew... I think I would make suicide legal and do some other good shit for the world but in my opinion they don't even deserve it. The best thing to happen for the world and universe would probably be human extinction.

I agree and I like your point about the extinction of the human species. human beings are like pests.

 

[Ardesevent]

12. I was shunned by everyone, my mother just died, and all I had left were some internet friends that didn't care about me at all. I started attempting when I turned 14.
If I had the power to change humanity, I don't know what I'd do. I'd feel like I was brainwashing everyone if I did something.

 

[Fehler]

Every time I know more about the world, it seems more horrible to me. We are indecipherable phenomena.

I think I've reached my limit, I hate humans, even myself. We are just destructive beings, we say that we always improve but it is not true. The one who created existence really should have done something better because we are as indefinite as our life purpose. I apologize if I offend someone, but my anger is so great when I see my reality. Too bad I still don't have the courage for Ctb; (

Relatable...
I think that changing some aspects of my life could be more bearable.
I'm lucky to still get love from my mom, but I'm too greedy and want more.

On changing humanity ... I would need a lot of power, too much (it would end up corrupting me haha). I think it would be like a dictator, but nice, I mean, what I say will be done but that will always be for the common good :D. I would need advisers from every possible field (sociologists, lawyers, engineers, biologists, physicists ...).
And the final idea would be to end up all under a flag, as if we were a colony of ants but intelligent
It would also much simpler for people to be a bit like you. You showed me that you were a great person when you supported me

 

[Nymph]

I stopped wanting to live probably since I hit puberty and actively getting stuff to ctb since I joined here. I've thought about suicide since around 13. Since 13 I realized that suicide is probably gonna be my way of going. I was only hopeful and full of love when I was a small child. Later on everything got fucked

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Difficult question since my understanding of my own thoughts wasn't always great and it took me a while to realize that the thoughts I was having were suicidal and not normal. Probably around 10 based on things I know I said and thought. I had very negative opinions on life and always used to fantasize about escaping having to live longer, but I didn't really understand how I could escape it. When I was 14 these thoughts turned into a realization that I could actually kill myself, and at around 16 I started forming real plans to kill myself.

 

[wanttodie]

for about 25 years

 

[jerusalen]

my first attempt was when i were 5 lol, now i know it has a deep meaning. I feel the same about life and humans rn, specially when u are from 3rd world country ( im from peru, btw my english may be bad and i haven't seen comments in spanish so trying my best) where everything it's fuck up, and it's so frustrating knowing that i cannot change anything important, and also who the hell am i to know if something is good or not. Im a just a mix of thoughts and emotions so i guess i'll ctb to not suffer in this world or not add more shit to humanity