Neogoloid, I am so sorry that you feel so isolated and that people might not care. Here there are people who care - for most of us, we share a part of our lives here that we are unable to share elsewhere. I don't really know much about methods and also do not feel comfortable talking about something that I am 100% confident. All I know is that I want you to know that I care, as do so many people on the forum, about you and each other. You have clearly suffered a lot in life to get to where you are and I am so sorry that you have suffered so much. I hope that you find the peace that you desperately seek. And I am sorry if my wordings feel like mere, empty words that you do not want to hear - perhaps I am writting this to make myself feel better (I hope this is not the case) as I feel sad and uncomfortable that someone wants to leave feeling alone - but where there is share pain, there is usually shared empathy, live, respect and care as well. Take care. Best wishes.