NSFW sighhhh

[cubibibibism]

i feel awful right now.

i'm dating a guy who is very nice and all, but i can't stop thinking about what it would be like to date a woman.

i was intimate (not sex but other things) with him the last time i saw him (fyi i did consent, so it's not his fault for any of this), but my heart was not in it at all and i was practically dissociated the whole time. whenever i remember it, i feel disgusted. i shouldn't have said yes. now he definitely expects more from me, which is something i can't give him. i'm not attracted to men sexually, and the idea of having sex with a man repulses me. all i can think about right now is how much better i would feel if i was dating a girl instead.

i feel like i might have to break up with him eventually, which sucks because he's a nice guy. the whole situation just makes me regret dating a guy again. am i a lesbian? i have no fucking idea anymore.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

i feel awful right now.

i'm dating a guy who is very nice and all, but i can't stop thinking about what it would be like to date a woman.

i was intimate (not sex but other things) with him the last time i saw him (fyi i did consent, so it's not his fault for any of this), but my heart was not in it at all and i was practically dissociated the whole time. whenever i remember it, i feel disgusted. i shouldn't have said yes. now he definitely expects more from me, which is something i can't give him. i'm not attracted to men sexually, and the idea of having sex with a man repulses me. all i can think about right now is how much better i would feel if i was dating a girl instead.

i feel like i might have to break up with him eventually, which sucks because he's a nice guy. the whole situation just makes me regret dating a guy again. am i a lesbian? i have no fucking idea anymore.

First off:

That's really not a nice experience and you should not put yourself through that again.
My advice would be just be honest with him.Tell him hey, listen.This is who I am, and I am not sexually interested in guys.

It's not nice for him to invest in something that you already know is not going to work out. But even more than that, you just dissociated. That's your body telling you that you're doing something really wrong and really feeling unsafe. Please don't put yourself through that?

As for being lesbian, just because you're not interested in sex with guys does not make you a lesbian. It makes you not interested in guys..
I mean, I don't mean to pry, but do you fantasies about women in that way?

It can be really hard to figure out. But I'm going to assume you're in no hurry? Take a step back. Heck, look at some porn. Try to figure out what gets your body going.
And just think about it? If you let go of all the "should be's" and "how it's supposed to be's" what is your mind actually telling you?

Because if you're already thinking I wish I was dating a girl. I think that's a pretty clear direction? And maybe you would date a girl and not like it either. And that's perfectly fine too!

 

[mangoastronaut]

I couldn't have said it better that UnrulyNightmare.

Just wanna emphasize to be honest with him. Not only will it be better for you, but it will be good for him too. It's respectful to cut things off instead of investing time and emotions into someone you're not interested in. He can find someone who wants him for who he is, and so can you.

 

[cubibibibism]

First off:

That's really not a nice experience and you should not put yourself through that again.
My advice would be just be honest with him.Tell him hey, listen.This is who I am, and I am not sexually interested in guys.

It's not nice for him to invest in something that you already know is not going to work out. But even more than that, you just dissociated. That's your body telling you that you're doing something really wrong and really feeling unsafe. Please don't put yourself through that?

As for being lesbian, just because you're not interested in sex with guys does not make you a lesbian. It makes you not interested in guys..
I mean, I don't mean to pry, but do you fantasies about women in that way?

It can be really hard to figure out. But I'm going to assume you're in no hurry? Take a step back. Heck, look at some porn. Try to figure out what gets your body going.
And just think about it? If you let go of all the "should be's" and "how it's supposed to be's" what is your mind actually telling you?

Because if you're already thinking I wish I was dating a girl. I think that's a pretty clear direction? And maybe you would date a girl and not like it either. And that's perfectly fine too!

Thank you!

I couldn't have said it better that UnrulyNightmare.

Just wanna emphasize to be honest with him. Not only will it be better for you, but it will be good for him too. It's respectful to cut things off instead of investing time and emotions into someone you're not interested in. He can find someone who wants him for who he is, and so can you.