Sick of being told I'm not trying hard enough to get better

[Veronica Sawyer]

Like people won't often say it in those exact words. But like, my parents keep telling me that they thought I was doing better when I was doing ketamine therapy, even though I keep telling them that I did not feel any noticeable improvement in mental health. But, apparently they feel like I was doing better when I was doing that treatment, so therefore the fact that I'm not doing it anymore is me being irrational and equivalent to going off my meds as soon as I start to feel better. Guess my point of view on whether or not it was helping doesn't matter.

It feels like it's rampant in any conversations about mental health. If you're not trying new medications constantly, if you're not doing literally everything you can to not be mentally ill (which is often a very arbitrary and un-provable standard, it usually just means continuing to be mentally ill) then clearly you're not trying hard enough and your complaining should be ignored. I'm really really sick of it. idk why I keep trying to talk to my parents about this stuff, I guess they're just the easiest people to contact in my life and I keep hoping that I'll be understood.

I'm trying my best to get better, I'm trying to improve my life, I'm better than I was from January-March when I was barely getting out of bed, but I'm still having trouble with social anxiety, depression, feeling anxious dread whenever I think about trying to work full time again, and just general hopelessness. But I'm at least taking steps towards getting better. I just needed to vent about this, I appreciate anybody who read through this.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

That sounds really frustrating. A lot of people don't seem to know or care about what it's like to try and recover from mental health issues. There are so many complicated and difficult decisions to make including dealing with side effects or medication that just isn't helping. Ironically, I think your parents being dismissive of the work on your health you've done already is affecting your symptoms.

Treatment-resistant depression is often a sign your environment is still bad, not that you aren't trying hard enough. I'm sorry you've had to deal with people who treat you like you aren't doing enough or that you're being irrational and causing your own issues. That's ridiculous and healing from mental health issues is far from a simple straight line from bad to good.

If you have anyone that seems to be more supportive or understanding than your parents, I'd recommend trying to reach out to them. Having kind people around you telling you that they see you're working hard is important. sometimes more than the medication or therapy itself. Best of luck on the healing journey, it's unfair and it sucks, and people telling you it's your fault around you makes everything worse.

 

[SpiderLink]

Like people won't often say it in those exact words. But like, my parents keep telling me that they thought I was doing better when I was doing ketamine therapy, even though I keep telling them that I did not feel any noticeable improvement in mental health. But, apparently they feel like I was doing better when I was doing that treatment, so therefore the fact that I'm not doing it anymore is me being irrational and equivalent to going off my meds as soon as I start to feel better. Guess my point of view on whether or not it was helping doesn't matter.

It feels like it's rampant in any conversations about mental health. If you're not trying new medications constantly, if you're not doing literally everything you can to not be mentally ill (which is often a very arbitrary and un-provable standard, it usually just means continuing to be mentally ill) then clearly you're not trying hard enough and your complaining should be ignored. I'm really really sick of it. idk why I keep trying to talk to my parents about this stuff, I guess they're just the easiest people to contact in my life and I keep hoping that I'll be understood.

I'm trying my best to get better, I'm trying to improve my life, I'm better than I was from January-March when I was barely getting out of bed, but I'm still having trouble with social anxiety, depression, feeling anxious dread whenever I think about trying to work full time again, and just general hopelessness. But I'm at least taking steps towards getting better. I just needed to vent about this, I appreciate anybody who read through this.

I know what u mean, it's so invalidating saying "your not trying hard enough" I feel u, sending virtual hugs

 

[Veronica Sawyer]

If you have anyone that seems to be more supportive or understanding than your parents, I'd recommend trying to reach out to them. Having kind people around you telling you that they see you're working hard is important. sometimes more than the medication or therapy itself. Best of luck on the healing journey, it's unfair and it sucks, and people telling you it's your fault around you makes everything worse.

I do luckily have a couple people in my life I can talk to about this sort of thing openly. I was just having a bad day overall, my therapist had to cancel our appointment, and since I've been really anxious and overwhelmed by a lot of other stuff in my life, was hoping to talk about it a bit. When it got canceled I tried to talk to my parents about it, and it didn't go well. I need to learn not to reach out to them first about these sorts of things, it's just that they're usually the easiest people to call up since I have a lot of social anxiety with others in my life. But yeah I ended up talking to my partner afterwards and I was able to calm down my emotions a lot and process things a little bit better. It's just so frustrating that a conversation about how I'm nervous about moving and my ability to find a new job turned into how I'm apparently not addressing my mental health enough for their standards.

I appreciate the kind words and reassurance, it really does help <3

 

[hwaiting]

I think the worst part about it is the mindset that it's somehow your fault. If you haven't gotten better, then you just weren't trying hard enough, you weren't fixing bad habits, etc. It gets to me, in that the idea that everything's been my fault is pretty ingrained in my mind at this point. Even though I'm no longer in a bad situation, it's really discouraging when it's been years and I'm still roughly the same or worse, like I've perpetuated it all instead of getting better.

It's really great that you have people you can talk to, that are willing to listen and be supportive. And you are trying and you are getting better, and honestly, you're doing everything right. You've come so far and that's something to be really proud of. Hope you've been doing alright, be kind to yourself

 

[LaVieEnRose]

People will always launch that accusation at you since it's so easy to make. Trust that you are doing the best you can within your limits, which can vary from one day to the next.