T

tothemoon

Member
Aug 5, 2019
76
How many on here, at the end of the day, don't think you'll actually go through with it? I was thinking about that the other day and thought the same. But then realized I've had two uncles do it, both with different methods. And I realized, it's in my blood. I'll be able to 'pull the plug' if and when that time comes.
 
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mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
190
That is a good question. I think some just talk about it, but won't actually do it, due to their circumstances. I could be one of them or not.
It might be mostly SI and fear.
 
T

tothemoon

Member
Aug 5, 2019
76
That is a good question. I think some just talk about it, but won't actually do it, due to their circumstances. I could be one of them or not.
It might be mostly SI and fear.
I think a huge issues with this forum is it's the worlds worst echo chamber. When someone is no longer suicidal or things DO improve, they stop coming here. We don't get that perspective.
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
I think a huge issues with this forum is it's the worlds worst echo chamber. When someone is no longer suicidal or things DO improve, they stop coming here. We don't get that perspective.
Go to the recovery section
 
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Blue Starz

Blue Starz

Shining Through Darkness
Apr 4, 2020
34
I think a huge issues with this forum is it's the worlds worst echo chamber. When someone is no longer suicidal or things DO improve, they stop coming here. We don't get that perspective.

maybe that's true for most... but not me... i'm not suicidal (anymore) or at least for now... i decided to come back. :halo:

There are surely a few others on here that were suicidal, who i won't name out of respect... & i've already had many ctb's over the years, God keeps sabotaging it, LOL

There's nothing inherently wrong with si stopping you or anyone; it's very difficult to overcome. I hope you find whatever gives you comfort & peace. :heart:
 
Last edited:
schopenh

schopenh

Specialist
Oct 21, 2019
385
Me. I'm afraid SI will prevent me. Unlike many (most?) people here I don't suffer from a chronic mental health problem as a reason for wanting to end my life. I suffer from seemingly intractible severe neuropathic pain. I just want to end the physical pain. To be honest I really want to live, just not with the pain, which makes life mostly completely joyless. If that neuropathic pain spontaneously resolved I'd not want to commit suicide, even though I've also always been a somewhat nihilstic person. I'm just hoping there comes a day where I finally accept it's not getting better and I've had enough and I can go through with the suicide.
 
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T

tothemoon

Member
Aug 5, 2019
76
Me. I'm afraid SI will prevent me. Unlike many (most?) people here I don't suffer from a chronic mental health problem as a reason for wanting to end my life. I suffer from seemingly intractible severe neuropathic pain. I just want to end the physical pain. To be honest I really want to live, just not with the pain, which makes life mostly completely joyless. If that neuropathic pain spontaneously resolved I'd not want to commit suicide, even though I've also always been a somewhat nihilstic person. I'm just hoping there comes a day where I finally accept it's not getting better and I've had enough and I can go through with the suicide.
Chronic pain is a huge killer. I think you and I fall into the second category. Mentally I'm...ok. I just have some external influences that make living near impossible, Like you said "mostly completely joyless". Better external circumstances I'd be just fine. How long have you had the pain for?
 
G

GrowingPains

Member
Feb 25, 2020
12
Me. I'm afraid SI will prevent me. Unlike many (most?) people here I don't suffer from a chronic mental health problem as a reason for wanting to end my life. I suffer from seemingly intractible severe neuropathic pain. I just want to end the physical pain. To be honest I really want to live, just not with the pain, which makes life mostly completely joyless. If that neuropathic pain spontaneously resolved I'd not want to commit suicide, even though I've also always been a somewhat nihilstic person. I'm just hoping there comes a day where I finally accept it's not getting better and I've had enough and I can go through with the suicide.
I feel you. I'm in my mid twenties and while I'm also quite nihilistic, I was dealt a pretty good hand in life, until I lost my physical health. It's a bummer to know I'm probably going to have to wait until the pain pushes me over the edge.
 
autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
That is a good question. I think some just talk about it, but won't actually do it, due to their circumstances. I could be one of them or not.
It might be mostly SI and fear.

I keep seeing it and meaning to ask you, what does the empty table in your signature mean?
 
schopenh

schopenh

Specialist
Oct 21, 2019
385
Chronic pain is a huge killer. I think you and I fall into the second category. Mentally I'm...ok. I just have some external influences that make living near impossible, Like you said "mostly completely joyless". Better external circumstances I'd be just fine. How long have you had the pain for?
I've been in very severe pain for 2.5 years. I was in manageable pain for about a year before that.

I feel you. I'm in my mid twenties and while I'm also quite nihilistic, I was dealt a pretty good hand in life, until I lost my physical health. It's a bummer to know I'm probably going to have to wait until the pain pushes me over the edge.
yea, I'm only 28 :-/
 
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mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
190
I keep seeing it and meaning to ask you, what does the empty table in your signature mean?
What do you mean by "empty table" ? I'm not very familiar with the term in this concept.

Hugs.
 
L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
I keep seeing it and meaning to ask you, what does the empty table in your signature mean?
I think it's accidental. I've seen this in some people's postings in between their words even sometimes. Computer glitch?
 
muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
I don't know. I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 11 years old (I'm 23 now). They hit with a vengeance and then they go away and I feel renewed vigor again. Then, the overwhelming pain returns and I'm back to wanting to ctb. On and on. The rollercoaster itself makes me want to die, yet I don't know if I actually want to DIE or if I just want the pain to stop.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
What do you mean by "empty table" ? I'm not very familiar with the term in this concept.

Hugs.

See below. It appears in your signature section, beneath the 'Hugs'.

Ss empty table sig

I think it's accidental. I've seen this in some people's postings in between their words even sometimes. Computer glitch?

OK strange. To be fair, I'm only assuming it was @mpnf's signature I've seen it in multiple times before. It might have been a different user each time and caused by a more general glitch.
 
mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
190
I'm on my phone when I read the forum and thanks to you I've seen it for the first time on the desktop mode of my browser. No idea of why it appears. Tried to edit it, but nothing seems out of the regular.

Thanks for telling me even though I don't know how to delete it.
Again. No idea why it shows up like that.
 
OhItsZemblanity

OhItsZemblanity

Member
Apr 12, 2020
22
Honestly, I can't say for certain. The one time I went to attempt it, I had to keep a promise to my cousin to call her and allow her to try and prevent me from doing it at least once. She was successful (obviously). The urges have been strong these past couple months, but I don't have my chosen method. If I did...I dunno. I could very well decide not to after thinking for awhile.
 

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