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richardpinkhammer

New Member
Feb 23, 2024
2
Has anyone ever purchased a firearm for the express purpose of CBT but failed to pull the trigger at the moment of truth? I have easy access to purchasing a firearm and have decided on the caliber I'm going to use, but I don't want to shell out the money if I'm going to find myself unable to pull the trigger when it really counts. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
I think SI is going to be inherent in ANY method you choose. Just as you may be unable to "pull the trigger" with a firearm, you may, also, be unable to jump from a tall building, stick your neck down on the railroad track, drink the glass of Nembutal or SN, kick the chair out from under yourself while the noose is around your neck, enter into your tent that is filled with CO gas, etc, etc, etc. It's not the method causing the SI; it's about the result that the method may bring about. I really don't believe in "souls" per say, but I do separate the body from the "consciousness", which is you. The body doesn't want to die and has evolved it's own mechanisms of survival over thousands of years. You have to overcome the body's innate ability to protect itself. It's hard.

Just curious....what caliber gun did you decide on? Handgun?
 
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CasperDaGhost

CasperDaGhost

Only I Can Bring About The End.
Feb 17, 2024
35
Yes. I can't speak on the difficulty of other methods. But I know going by shotgun has some insane difficulty. During my last attempt I got the furthest I ever had. I had it loaded, safety off, and I was certain I was going to do it. In fact I was so sure, that I was congratulating myself for being able to do it. And as I'm sure you can tell, SI beat my ass.
 
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MyChoiceAlone

MyChoiceAlone

sleep deprived and/or drunk
Jul 23, 2023
1,212
i used to own a .44 mag. i think i'd definitely have si from that since even shooting it away from me always unnerved me a bit.
 
Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley

Just another lost soul
Jan 4, 2024
459
Yes. I can't speak on the difficulty of other methods. But I know going by shotgun has some insane difficulty. During my last attempt I got the furthest I ever had. I had it loaded, safety off, and I was certain I was going to do it. In fact I was so sure, that I was congratulating myself for being able to do it. And as I'm sure you can tell, SI beat my ass.

Just curious, but do you think a handgun would be easier for you? If so, what is it specifically about a shotgun (as opposed to a handgun) that is causing so much SI?
 
CasperDaGhost

CasperDaGhost

Only I Can Bring About The End.
Feb 17, 2024
35
Just curious, but do you think a handgun would be easier for you? If so, what is it specifically about a shotgun (as opposed to a handgun) that is causing so much SI?
Probably not. The mess that will come from using a shotgun definitely screws with me a bit. But with a handgun there's a lot more possibility for error and I'd be far more scared of just making myself a vegetable. With a shotgun, as long as you don't do it stupidly there's very little room for error.

As for what stopped me, it was mostly fear of pain and death. Even though I knew it's one of the fastest, and least painful ways to go, there was still a niggling thought in the back of my head telling me the pain could still be bad and death might be eternal torture, or something equally horrifying.

And well, you're putting a shotgun in your mouth. There's definitely some intrinsic fear that'll mess with you there.
 
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R

richardpinkhammer

New Member
Feb 23, 2024
2
I think SI is going to be inherent in ANY method you choose. Just as you may be unable to "pull the trigger" with a firearm, you may, also, be unable to jump from a tall building, stick your neck down on the railroad track, drink the glass of Nembutal or SN, kick the chair out from under yourself while the noose is around your neck, enter into your tent that is filled with CO gas, etc, etc, etc. It's not the method causing the SI; it's about the result that the method may bring about. I really don't believe in "souls" per say, but I do separate the body from the "consciousness", which is you. The body doesn't want to die and has evolved it's own mechanisms of survival over thousands of years. You have to overcome the body's innate ability to protect itself. It's hard.

Just curious....what caliber gun did you decide on? Handgun?
Handgun - .357 I know a shotgun in the mouth would be 100% effective, but I just can't wrap my brain around using one.
 
Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia

Student
Feb 17, 2024
171
Has anyone ever purchased a firearm for the express purpose of CBT but failed to pull the trigger at the moment of truth? I have easy access to purchasing a firearm and have decided on the caliber I'm going to use, but I don't want to shell out the money if I'm going to find myself unable to pull the trigger when it really counts. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

I have a .38, a 9mm and a .45 caliber pistol in my home. My husband loved guns. But I knew from the beginning that I could not blow my brains out. It's a lot easier for me to put on my SCUBA mask and breath in nitrogen. I'm at the end of everything in this existence. But I still could not put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. Guns pretty much needs to be your one and only possible route to freedom to do it. That or you're just one of THOSE people.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
Handgun - .357 I know a shotgun in the mouth would be 100% effective, but I just can't wrap my brain around using one.
I hear you, but I wouldn't even want the minuscule chance of surviving an attempt and then have to "live" with the aftermath. If using a firearm were my method, I'd definitely use a shotgun in the mouth. I'd just want it to be over with and be assured as I could possibly be that it would be. To hell with the mess. I know everyone's different in their thinking, and in what they can and can't do, and I respect that. A .357 should get the job done with no issues. Make sure your angle is correct. You only get the one shot.
 
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CasperDaGhost

CasperDaGhost

Only I Can Bring About The End.
Feb 17, 2024
35
I was just reading on Lost All Hope and found this. Definitely something to take into consideration. Screenshot 2024 03 01 at 113832PM
 
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Seasmoke

Seasmoke

Didn't choose to be here
Mar 1, 2024
13
This will be my method, I've had the gun in my mouth multiple times, all I had to do was pull the trigger, couldn't do it. Partially because I had range ammunition and not self defense ammunition. This time will be different, I'm going to do it next week. I plan on being a tad intoxicated but not so much I miss the brain stem. Also making sure I don't flinch.
 
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BrainShower

BrainShower

Tiny storm
Nov 7, 2023
253
I have known 3 people who failed using a pistol, and went on to live very horrible lives.(I worked in a brain injury rehab)

For me, shotgun is the only choice. Much much lower chance of failure, especially if you know what you are doing, which I also recommend.
 
JordanF

JordanF

Member
Sep 21, 2023
50
Handgun - .357 I know a shotgun in the mouth would be 100% effective, but I just can't wrap my brain around using one.
I have known 3 people who failed using a pistol, and went on to live very horrible lives.(I worked in a brain injury rehab)

For me, shotgun is the only choice. Much much lower chance of failure, especially if you know what you are doing, which I also recommend.
Just as a note, you can't aim too far forward if you have it in the mouth because you will miss the brain. I saw a horrifying picture of someone who shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun and it destroyed half his face but missed his brain. I felt absolutely terrible for him, and I hope he ended up getting the peace that he wanted. I couldn't imagine living a life like that.
 
BrainShower

BrainShower

Tiny storm
Nov 7, 2023
253
I have known 3 people who failed using a pistol, and went on to live very horrible lives.(I worked in a brain injury rehab)

For me, shotgun is the only choice. Much much lower chance of failure, especially if you know what you are doing, which I also recommend.
I will say that those people almost definitely used a .22 or a 9mm. Not good choices.

A .357 or .45 caliber would definitely be more effective.
 
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