Discussion "Showing them all"

[LastDay]

My method is SN and DMSO and I was thinking of a way to do it to make it look like an accident in case it fails. As I was playing out the scenario in my head I realized, to my surprise, that part of the appeal to CTB was making them question what hand they may have played in my demise. Which is weird because in my letter I was planning to emphasize not blaming themselves or each other.

Anyone else feel this? Who would you wanna make feel bad with your suicide if anyone? Or would you want it to look like an accident? Why?

I mean the main reason is because I'm in pain and tired of fighting. I'm just having mixed feelings about having such a sinister thought. Especially since I know they'll be sad regardless so there's no need to "twist the knife" so to speak. I guess the thing is I've always felt very neglected by everyone in my life yet have had trouble asking for what I wanted so how were they supposed to even know.

Ugh, I don't know, shit is fucked.

 

[creationisdeath]

I don't want to be found at all. Ideally eaten by bears and wolves. But if I can't do that and I have to kill myself at home due to whatever reason then everyone should know. That is, at least the government since I don't have anyone else anyway.