Should you ask a coworker to have a drink after work?

[glad it’s night]

Or tea or whatever they're into?

I don't think it would be too awkward if they said no. Has anyone done this?

P.s just got my first job in years! Go me! Hopefully coming out of hermit mode.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

That's a great ice breaker, go for it. Nothing awkward about it. Well, unless you've never spoke to that person, I assume you've had at least one conversation with them. If they turn you down that doesn't necessary means they don't like you either, they might be genuinely busy after work (or just too shy to hang out alone after just meeting someone), so don't get discouraged!
Also, big "yay, well done!" about the job!

 

[glad it’s night]

If they turn you down that doesn't necessary means they don't like you either, they might be genuinely busy after work (or just too shy to hang out alone after just meeting someone), so don't get discouraged.

If that happened, is it better to say:
"How about another night? Are you free sometime this week?" Bc that way you know if they want to or not for sure.

Or wait and hope you have the same shift again and ask a different day?

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Just don't ask the guy wearing a turban to go for specifically an alcoolic drink and it'll be fine lol.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

If that happened, is it better to say:
"How about another night? Are you free sometime this week?" Bc that way you know if they want to or not for sure.

Or wait and hope you have the same shift again and ask a different day?

Fellow overthinker I see

Hmm...I'd say it depends on how long you've known the person. Either is totally fine, but I'd say if you're still in an area of sharing 1 or 2 shifts and having small talk here and there for a handful of times, I'd go for option 2 (wait it out) just to make sure you're not pressuring the person (in case they're shy). But if you actually had known the person a little longer, discovered some shared interests or generally feel more or less comfortable around each other, I'd go with option 1 (offering another night). But yeah, either way you'd figure out if they are not up to hanging out or genuinely are busy.
Don't worry, it's going to be alright

 

[Smart No More]

If that happened, is it better to say:
"How about another night? Are you free sometime this week?" Bc that way you know if they want to or not for sure.

Or wait and hope you have the same shift again and ask a different day?

Either option is fine. Sometimes it's a case of reading the moment which is easier for some than others. The main thing is to avoid making them feel uncomfortable by pushing too hard but sometimes that's a little unavoidable and as long as you are seen to obviously respect the answer if it's not the one you hoped for a little awkwardness is fine. Some girls/guys warm to a bit of awkward vulnerability as it's a sign of honesty and strength.

So.... I'm saying go for it. Maybe ask what they like to do first and suggest doing something along those lines but a coffee/tea/drink is usually a safe bet a decent ice breaker. Maybe go along the lines of 'hey, what are your plans for the evening?' Listen to reply and follow up with 'the reason i' m asking is because I thought maybe we could meet up a for drink (or whatever) one of the nights'. If they say yes then you can suggest the current evening depending on what their reply to their plans for the evening were.

If they said they weren't doing much that evening but come up with a reason that they couldn't go for a drink then that's a fair sign that maybe they're not interested but it may just be that week/worknights are just a bit of a windown chill time for them and weekends would be more suited to them so it's okay to ask that but maybe save that for another day so you don't come across too pushy.

If there's some trepedation about the whole thing you can always drop a few hints and do a bit of seed planting to get a feel for whether it's worth asking at all. This does take a bit longer but it sometimes pays off. So for example saying something like "I like when we get shifts together" and see what the response is. Then depending on that, give it a little time and follow up by asking "what shifts do you have coming up - are we together much next week (or whatever the rotation is)" Guage their response. If its positive you could be like - "well maybe we should get together outside of work some time". Like I say, there's a lot of on the fly decisions to make so I think the best thing is to try to keep it simple and don't be over bearing. I get the impression from your post that you're not inclined to be too heavy so it seems like you might already instinctively know what to do. It's just a case of putting it out there. Hope it goes well. : )

EDIT I've actually just caught up on Nessies posts and think they say much of what I'm trying to say but in a more concise manner so please don't let my rambling over complicate matters. You got this. Nice one on the job too. : )

 

[glad it’s night]

Fellow overthinker I see

Lol. I guess we can spot our own kind. At training today I was thinking: am I making the right amount of eye contact? Do I have the right expression on my face?

Anyone know if overthinking is on the same continuum as autism? I've never been diagnosed but sometimes I feel a little different ; like other people just do some of these things automatically

 

[Smart No More]

I think overthinking is a side effect of inteligence and quite common. It probably does sit on the sliding scale of some mental health label but I wouldn't beat yourself up about overthinking unless it become detrimental to life. For example stopping you doing things. I can totally relate to being an overthinker but it's paid it's rent a few times over in many elements of my life. At some point I think you come to harness it although it will always be a prominent element of of your personality and will never go away. I guess it is a sliding scale though. As such there's no hard and fast answers.

 

[Foresight]

Hanging out with a coworker is perfectly fine. It's fine to say let's hang out sometime. If they seem interested then go forward and if they seem iffy I'd let it go.

 

[cooldude420]

If it is because of romantic interest, I'd say don't do it at all. No need to risk a job over it. Some people might consider it sexual harassment; it is stupid but that is how the world is today. They just need to go to HR and say, "I felt uncomfortable when they asked me to go out for a drink." If it is for purely friendship and you have zero interest beyond that, you need to make it explicitly clear that you just want to be friends and there other people nearby that can hear it is just friends thing. But, you can also just be friends at work.

And if you just started on your job, focus on becoming excellent on your job first. You can make friends many other places and find romantic interests in many other places. You can't make money in as many places though.

 

[MegaGordo]

Or tea or whatever they're into?

I don't think it would be too awkward if they said no. Has anyone done this?

P.s just got my first job in years! Go me! Hopefully coming out of hermit mode.

Maybe a 2 for I Nembutal happy hour?