Should I try tonight or wait to get SN ?

[Saddaisy]

I'm thinking about trying tonight. Stupid partner is mad at me for the DUMBEST crap. He had a bad day at work yesterday and got mad at me because I had found the perfect Christmas gift for him and I "was babbling like I always do when I'm excited". I forget I'm not allowed to be happy or show any emotion around him. There's more reasons besides him that I want to end it. Student loan debt is killing me (or will be next year), I have a chronic condition that's only going to get worse... I've signed up with dignitis in Switzerland but since America fails at corona it's going to be a long time before I can use them and I don't want to wait a year.

My options are hanging, taking all my sleeping pills, cutting my wrists, or that's basically it. I wish I had access to more stuff because I don't want to wake up to another day of this pain.

 

[ecmnesia]

I'd wait, but that's because I like to have as much control as possible in any situation, reducing chances of failure.

I think it be best for you to have a controlled environment with reliable and fully understood methods. If you are not familiar with the particularities of hanging or do not have the correct structure to do it, chances are you won't succeed, will be found and end up in a worst place than you are right now, this applies to all of the other methods you mentioned before.
otherwise I am sorry that you've been in such pain. I know it's sounds unbearable, but it you will, hang in there a little bit (no pun intended), it might prove itself worth it.

 

[Saddaisy]

I can definitely get enough of SN and antiemetics over this next week. Saturday I'll be alone from 830ish to 530ish so that should be more than enough time. Of course with my luck the SN I have access to will somehow be expired and someone threw it out( although that's HIGHLY unlikely since I'm the one who controls drug inventory and makes sure nothing is expired)

But with the way my life is even if it's expired I'll take my chances.I've missed one drug in the past 3 years and that's because people don't understand the concept of rotating new/old stuff. Its probably best I wait because my dad at least deserves a note. And my pos partner who is 75% at fault will be getting one and I'm going to set up timed emails with my note to go out to people so even if he throws it away it's going to come out what all he's done.

I'm mostly writing my dad and telling him please don't shoot Blah because I personally don't care if he lives or dies, but I don't want my 74 year old dad to go to prison for the rest of his life.

 

[ecmnesia]

I can definitely get enough of SN and antiemetics over this next week. Saturday I'll be alone from 830ish to 530ish so that should be more than enough time. Of course with my luck the SN I have access to will somehow be expired and someone threw it out( although that's HIGHLY unlikely since I'm the one who controls drug inventory and makes sure nothing is expired)

But with the way my life is even if it's expired I'll take my chances.I've missed one drug in the past 3 years and that's because people don't understand the concept of rotating new/old stuff. Its probably best I wait because my dad at least deserves a note. And my pos partner who is 75% at fault will be getting one and I'm going to set up timed emails with my note to go out to people so even if he throws it away it's going to come out what all he's done.

I'm mostly writing my dad and telling him please don't shoot Blah because I personally don't care if he lives or dies, but I don't want my 74 year old dad to go to prison for the rest of his life.

considering this, i think it's really for the best that you wait. you'll have the time to clear things up and you are more likely to succeed. good luck. i hope you can find peace no matter what, even if it's just until your last days.

 

[It'sNotLookingGood]

Your sleeping pills won't kill you, so you don't need to consider this method any further.
I would really advice against cutting your wrists to ctb. That's sounds messy, slow, painful and unreliable (if even possible?)

Hanging is a much more suitable method, but ...

If you are not familiar with the particularities of hanging or do not have the correct structure to do it, chances are you won't succeed, will be found and end up in a worst place than you are right now

I think there would be a very real risk of permanent damage to your body, if your attempt was not successful/well-executed.

Please don't act hurriedly/rashly tonight. I'm sorry that you have to endure this suffering. but still, please don't act rashly because you're overwhelmed. I think you should really deeply research a method, before rushing anything<3

I can definitely get enough of SN and antiemetics over this next week. Saturday I'll be alone from 830ish to 530ish so that should be more than enough time.

SN is my method of choice. There is a lot you can do to facilitate a SN death i.e. anti-emetics, fasting, water-fasting, antacids, painkillers, propranolol and sedatives. Lots to learn, and lots of things to make sure you are doing correctly, and not incorrectly.

Keeping thinking about your decision though, ctb is the biggest one you might ever make

Peace and love<3

 

[Saddaisy]

I'm going with the SN next Saturday. I'm going to research what drugs I need and most of them I'll have access to with no issue.the ones I don't I'll see if I can find a suitable alternative and if not I'll see how important it is to have. Propranolol is the only thing I might not have... but I'm not sure how important that is. I'll have lots of nice pain killers, sedatives, anti emetics, and lots of SN... and I'll probably stick to a water only diet for 2-3 days. Except for my morning coffee... insomnia is evil

 

[succor]

Hello my love, while I can't tell you what to do nor do I have the right, I would emphatically suggest waiting as you seem to have decided to do. I definitely agree with the decision. The decision and method to CTB are both very important, big things that you should have control over. Having it be impulsive does you a disservice, I think. It's the biggest decision you'll make in your life, and it shouldn't be done rushed in the heat of the moment. I wish you peace, relief, and stillness in your heart.

 

[ecmnesia]

I'm going with the SN next Saturday. I'm going to research what drugs I need and most of them I'll have access to with no issue.the ones I don't I'll see if I can find a suitable alternative and if not I'll see how important it is to have. Propranolol is the only thing I might not have... but I'm not sure how important that is. I'll have lots of nice pain killers, sedatives, anti emetics, and lots of SN... and I'll probably stick to a water only diet for 2-3 days. Except for my morning coffee... insomnia is evil

propranolol is not a must have according to stan's guide. also, it seems like it's not such of a good idea to fast for so many days, i considered it before, and some users advised me against it, since it'd increase the probability of throwing up. 12 hours is enough.

 

[TripleA]

I'm thinking about trying tonight. Stupid partner is mad at me for the DUMBEST crap. He had a bad day at work yesterday and got mad at me because I had found the perfect Christmas gift for him and I "was babbling like I always do when I'm excited". I forget I'm not allowed to be happy or show any emotion around him. There's more reasons besides him that I want to end it. Student loan debt is killing me (or will be next year), I have a chronic condition that's only going to get worse... I've signed up with dignitis in Switzerland but since America fails at corona it's going to be a long time before I can use them and I don't want to wait a year.

My options are hanging, taking all my sleeping pills, cutting my wrists, or that's basically it. I wish I had access to more stuff because I don't want to wake up to another day of this pain.

Wait your SN

 

[I screwed up]

I hope u are all right @Saddaisy ... Hope u dint do anything impulsively ...

 

[Saddaisy]

I took way to many sleeping pills so I had to call in sick to work: not like I care. This time next week I'll be gone. I'm not all right at all. I don't want to do anything. I'm only going to work to get all my supplies together. I'm just hoping I don't forget anything important.

I'm not worried about anything being noticed except the SN so I might wait until Friday to grab that. By the time they notice it'll be to late: I'm just hoping no one notices the cuts on my wrist. It's pretty obvious it wasn't a cat scratch like I was going to say. I might just play dumb and say I have no clue. But I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt so hopefully no one will notice.

I feel more confident this time. I was going to try to get in with dignitis (which I guess I still could) but I would much rather be in my home so that low life pos can find me and be haunted for life. Although I have dignitis as a backup. They finally got back with me and said that Switzerland is allowing people from the us in for medical reasons and apparently that counts. So we will see. Hopefully I'll be gone Saturday. I'm leaving a note for my best friend to come here if I'm successful to let you all know I'm at peace and I wish you all to find peace however you can.