Should I try to fix my problems before I CTB?

[qpsns]

I am scared to CTB because of SI and because it would damage my family forever.

I want to give my life one more chance before I do such a thing.

Should I try to fix my problems?

 

[whatevs]

Yes. What are your problems? I don´t think I can help with them, but you can let some pressure go just writing about them.

 

[qpsns]

Yes. What are your problems? I don´t think I can help with them, but you can let some pressure go just writing about them.

- I have SAT and AP exams in a month and I still did not study. I don't know if this is because of my ongoing depression. If I fail this exam my parents would be shocked. They think I am studying well, even though they know I have depression.
- I lost $5000 by buying things at a high price and selling them cheaply. My parents try to borrow money from me, and if they know that I lost $5000, they will be very angry.
- I need to tell the truth that I was unable to study and that I lost $5000, but I don't know how. I don't think I would be forgiven.

 

[whatevs]

You are in a tough spot but is not the end of the world. Brace for the impact and keep in mind the things you like about existing. Suicide (IMO) is about having exhausted all other options and becoming completely uninsterested in survival. If you are young and still enjoy some things I would´nt consider ending my life for a medium size failure.

I think the real question here is how bad your depression is, because everything else is irrelevant once we are talking about anhedonia or crippling fatifgue.

Of course, I too have failed many times by now, and it feeds into my depression, it´s true. The shame due to bad decisions and losses makes you wonder if you were born to be humiliated and whether it shouldn´t be better to kill yourself and be done with it. I have no uplifting answer for this unfortunately, I´m trying to figure out it myself.

 

[qpsns]

You are in a tough spot but is not the end of the world. Brace for the impact and keep in mind the things you like about existing. Suicide (IMO) is about having exhausted all other options and becoming completely uninsterested in survival. If you are young and still enjoy some things I would´nt consider ending my life for a medium size failure.

I think the real question here is how bad your depression is, because everything else is irrelevant once we are talking about anhedonia or crippling fatifgue.

Ever since I had depression I was unable to do anything that involves hard work, especially studying. I can still do fun things like watching Youtube though. But life isn't fun if I can't do hard work.

 

[whatevs]

Ever since I had depression I was unable to do anything that involves hard work, especially studying. I can still do fun things like watching Youtube though. But life isn't fun if I can't do hard work.

I´m pretty similar, although I feel is more due to a sleep disorder but I am depressed as fuck all the same. Working or studying when you can´t concentrate, lack motivation and feel sad and empty logically have to suffer.

Obviously whether we work or study or not should be less important for our parents than whether we are depressed or not but society sometimes has its priorities wrong.

 

[Crazy4u]

Yes absolutely. Financial losses suck but they are often temporary.

Goodluck on your studies, op. I hope you succeed and achieve what you want

 

[fastlife]

You are in a tough spot but is not the end of the world. Brace for the impact and keep in mind the things you like about existing. Suicide (IMO) is about having exhausted all other options and becoming completely uninsterested in survival. If you are young and still enjoy some things I would´nt consider ending my life for a medium size failure.

I think the real question here is how bad your depression is, because everything else is irrelevant once we are talking about anhedonia or crippling fatifgue.

Of course, I too have failed many times by now, and it feeds into my depression, it´s true. The shame due to bad decisions and losses makes you wonder if you were born to be humiliated and whether it shouldn´t be better to kill yourself and be done with it. I have no uplifting answer for this unfortunately, I´m trying to figure out it myself.

what do you mean damage? if you want to die you will soon die you can also have a heart attack today then you are also dead it's always our own life don't forget every person lives alone and thinks of zig own that's how life works

 

[noname223]

I am scared to CTB because of SI and because it would damage my family forever.

I want to give my life one more chance before I do such a thing.

Should I try to fix my problems?

Yes I would definitely try to fix my problems first. I see suicide only as the last resort. There are several approaches how to heal from depression or to fix financial issues.

Have you ever tried therapy or medication? Both helped me.

Here are some resources how to heal from depression. But I am not a professional. I can make mistakes.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/a-guide-how-to-fight-nasty-depressions.85990/

Talking to my therapist has helped me to escape rock bottom. It will probably be easier for you to study when you mental problems decrease.

I wish you all the best luck!

 

[symphony]

As others have already stated, my philosphy is that suicide should, whenever possible, be a last resort.

 

[84779943]

Yes. These are fixable problems. It's hard to fix problems when you are depressed though. Depression makes it hard to do the things that will help you overcome the depression. That's what medication helps with. But on a more practical note I promise it does not matter if you fail your exams. I have been where you are a long time ago and I tried to push through and I sat my exams. I did okay. But I wish I had done what my family and teachers suggested. Take time away from your studies to get yourself mentally healthier and then sit your exams when you are in a place to perform at your best.

When you're young and you're facing difficulties like these it is hard to know that there is a different perspective if you haven't been shown it. You can make that $5000 back. You can study and feel prepared for your exams. But you have to set yourself up for success. Right now you're thinking only about failure and quitting. Don't quit. Just take a break. Reach out for help and be patient with yourself.

 

[Meretlein]

It sounds like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

While losing 5000 is rough, it is not a life ruining amount of money if your main concern is your parents finding out. They will likely be mad but they will get over it, a lot faster than they would get over your suicide.

I really sympathize with your struggle with SAT and AP exams. But if it is any solace, your life will not be defined by how well you do on those tests. I never took an AP, SAT, or ACT. I was a terrible student who couldn't be motivated to do anything. I knew I would bomb the math portion due to not touching math in almost a decade at that point. The wheels of life kept turning and now that is in the past.