Discussion Should I tell women I'm dating that I'm bisexual?

[nigelhernandez]

I've read women online say and heard from some female friend that most of them would be totally turned off by a bisexual guy and would leave their boyfriend/husband if they were bi.

Do you honestly think this is the case? If so, should I hide it?

I've heard that my only option is to date bi women.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Don't hide it.. be yourself otherwise it'll always be there in your head that you're not being true to yourself or your partner. Trust me lol.

 

[Tabbyql]

Be yourself, I'm bi and I tell my partners, if they don't like it then they jog on. My guy friend is also bi, he tries to keep it secret as much as poss and I think it hurts him to have to hide it sometimes. You should be free to be the genuine you. Me and my friend have had hurtful comments, but I don't fink they hurt as much as keeping it all in. Just my experience

 

[Escargot Shorts]

lol yea like the general consensus is that if you have to hide it just for the sake of increasing your potential dating pool, you're going to run into a lot of people that will increase your misery (i mean, you can be miserable w/ anyone but at least there would be different reasons)

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i think you should be honest. if they're repulsed by your sexuality, they wouldn't make for a good partner anyways. and burying a part of yourself will only make you feel worse.

 

[dieornottodie]

well usually partners would ask what do you like, if this question didnt come up yet dont bother telling them

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Intimacy requires trust and mutual respect, though of course some people screw without it, and that's risky behavior that can have major consequences. Disclosure is important to allow others to make informed decisions. Sharing sexual orientation and transmittable conditions allow the other person to make informed consent about who they're getting physically intimate with. If it means one might not get laid, and it's more important to them than mutual informed consent which may end up with a No, I hope their sexual organs stop functioning until they get their heads on...straight. Haha. I don't care about orientation, I was just amused that my narrative ended up at a play on words I didn't intend.

Seriously. Don't let Mr. Happy out until you've told the other person what Mr. Happy does and what Mr. Happy has.

You might get away with not disclosing, but if the truth comes out later, you and Mr. Happy could answer the door one day and be greeted with the fists or the gun barrel of a formerly uninformed partner, or of someone who is protective of a former partner, or of someone who has gotten intimate with a former partner since you did.

 

[Leech]

I mean you don't really have to. I think if it comes up in conversation, yeah. You shouldn't hide it from them. It's a conversation that you could initiate for sure.

 

[Sinai Silence]

Definitely don't hide it from them. Just because a couple of soccer moms have said this online doesn't mean that most women feel this way.

Be honest to them from the get go so if they do feel that way then no feelings get hurt in the long run. If they do feel uncomfortable being with a bi guy then they're not worth your time.

 

[draw a circle]

Not a straight woman so idk but I think trust and honesty is important in a relationship. If you think they should know and they're not, like, homophobic, I think it's fine to tell them.

 

[onlyeverexisting]

I'm not sure how often that happens, but I think you should tell them if it comes up. Do you really want to date someone that's homophobic, and doesn't accept you for who you are? That's the trash taking itself out tbh

 

[Life_and_Death]

I had a bi bf (well he claims that but that's a different story) and I didn't care. I'm not so sure it matters as long as you're not in an open relationship then it might be best they know. But in general I guess it would depend on the person but I don't see the problem. What's it matter who you're with before or after?

 

[Smudgedlines]

I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for five years. He has lied throughout. Or "witheld the truth" as he prefers to call it.
He has damaged our relationship beyond repair. It killed the intimacy. Once my trust had gone the relationship was dead. He's trying to bring it back but I can't.
You see if you withhold the truth over one thing...who is to say you're not withholding the truth over other things...
tell the truth about everything always... even if it hurts.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yes, obviously.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Personally if it were me (not being bi myself but speaking in hypothetical) I would absolutely not hide it because I feel like nothing would hurt more than to try to date someone who hates your identity. Besides biphobia is fucking stupid and I have no idea why it's as prevalent as it is. People are stupid I guess. Just be honest so you have a higher chance of finding someone who loves you honestly.

 

[whywere]

I am 64 years young and have been bi from the get go. I am a male btw. I have through my life had zero chances with gals when they find out that I am bi. Now on the othe hand, even some of the guys were NOT happy that I also liked women. For me I am 100% straight, sorry for the pun, honest when I meet someone of interest that I am bi. Lets get that aspect dealt with from the get go. Love and peace to all my global family memebers.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I've dated bi-sexual guys in the past. Was never a problem for me, as long as the were open and honest about it.

I think you should just tell. Why start something which starts as a lie or the half truth?

 

[alexit]

I've read women online say and heard from some female friend that most of them would be totally turned off by a bisexual guy and would leave their boyfriend/husband if they were bi.

Do you honestly think this is the case? If so, should I hide it?

I've heard that my only option is to date bi women.

Don't hide you. That being said people don't need or want to know everything.

 

[Failedboy]

I am bisexual as well and I don't hide it.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

A lot of time has passed, but I just saw this thread... and my experience is different from most of the comments.

As a bisexual male who had several serious relationships with women, I found out the moment you tell them - nothing will be the same anymore and it's just a matter of time when the girl will leave you. This happened to me multiple times.

I know in theory it shouldn't be like this, but unfortunately it is in practice, especially in countries which are not very liberal (US, Western Europe).

If you can, keep it to yourself.
Girls may say they're liberal, but when it comes to relationships - they are suddenly not so liberal.
They will never approve of your urges, will constantly think that you're cheating on them, and eventually will even make fun of you.

Some things should just stay - private, at all times.

 

[mightypabster]

A lot of time has passed, but I just saw this thread... and my experience is different from most of the comments.

As a bisexual male who had several serious relationships with women, I found out the moment you tell them - nothing will be the same anymore and it's just a matter of time when the girl will leave you. This happened to me multiple times.

I know in theory it shouldn't be like this, but unfortunately it is in practice, especially in countries which are not very liberal (US, Western Europe).

If you can, keep it to yourself.
Girls may say they're liberal, but when it comes to relationships - they are suddenly not so liberal.
They will never approve of your urges, will constantly think that you're cheating on them, and eventually will even make fun of you.

Some things should just stay - private, at all times.

I'm a bi guy and have been for many years - my experience is exactly the same.

I've observed people tend to brush bi-phobia off as attention-seeking, but it's certainly a real phenomenon.