Venting should i tell online friends when i'm about to leave?

[cogmachine]

guilt plagues me every day when i remember the arguments / the way i treated them, despite them making amends or saying it was their fault. i feel shameful, and don't know if they still hold a grudge against me. at one point i wanted to tell them for some closure, but that's implying they care. what were your experiences when you told people, if you did? really don't know what to do. i feel like i can repay them only by death, and at least then i won't be tormented by my past actions every single day. thank you for input / reading.

 

[electric blue]

Well, I haven't read the rest of your posts so I do not know the full story or what your situation is. But to be honest, killing yourself because you want to repay someone for how you treated them seem likes it would have the direct opposite effect. I feel as though that would leave the person feeling worse and maybe even resenting you more.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I got pretty negative responses to where now when I plan to make my full attempt I'll leave most of them in the dark and only tell the ones I'm confident and are trustworthy.

I personally wouldn't tell anyone you don't trust unless you are currently attempting and have a copy&paste ready.

 

[Zegers]

If they know details about you, no way, sometimes you can spend months/years planning, but in the end a simple goodbye can fuck everything up.

 

[Foxes]

Definitely not. You can plan a scheduled e-mail or text message after the fact, but it does little to no good to tell them beforehand (unless you're looking to be talked out of it or possibly have the cops called on you.)

My experiences have always been people either getting upset with me, distancing themselves from me even further, or trying to give pep talks. If you're 100% determined to CTB, none of that helps.

 

[OutOfTheVoid]

idk. i wouldnt risk it if theres a chance they could intervene (e.g. calling the cops)

personally, i'll probably schedule a post for after i'd already be dead. and id make it clear that if theyre reading it i really am gone

or maybe its better to disappear silently, idk

 

[User00]

Very negative response. What did I expect? Friends online never even like me, find me predictable, annoying and boring, eventually theyll lose interest in me and leave me alone like most have. A lot of the friends online I made just dont care anyway. So it doesnt really matter what I'll do.

 

[PrettyKitty]

If they could call cops or know where you live don't mention CTB. When I've tried before I messaged them not saying I was gonna CTB but telling them how much they mean to me and how much I love them before going. It's a good way to say goodbye without giving a hint.

 

[Shinobu]

i think you should do something liked a timed email because like lets say you tell them and your doing the 48 hour plan for SN thats 48 hours for them to figure out where you live call the cops or family members and try to "save" you or try to convince you not to do it if you want them to know but dont want them to stop you a timed email or a like suicide note that you know would get to them somehow is the best option

 

[NoLightRemains]

guilt plagues me every day when i remember the arguments / the way i treated them, despite them making amends or saying it was their fault. i feel shameful, and don't know if they still hold a grudge against me. at one point i wanted to tell them for some closure, but that's implying they care. what were your experiences when you told people, if you did? really don't know what to do. i feel like i can repay them only by death, and at least then i won't be tormented by my past actions every single day. thank you for input / reading.

In general, I don't think telling others is a good idea unless you want them to try to talk you out of it. In my case, there's nothing to talk about that I can't put in my scheduled emails/note. There can be some closure there if they need it or care.

 

[RW__Asher23]

I can't say for you what is best to do. That is YOURS to decide. Online friends are always questionable unless you know them irl but if not then will they really care and will you in the end? You will be gone. The answers anyone left behind wanting to know even knowing you as friend, lover, family or whatever will never be told or enough for them to understand themselves. Maybe the rl friends not online strangers who say they are your friends those will possibly want to know the real answer to that older than time itself question Why? . But if it is a note you think will help or email text etc etc then I give you a few examples here. These are from real people who successfully ctb. Or maybe you can just leave without anything said. Up to you to decide. Wish you the best journey and that you find eternal peace and happiness if ctb is to be.

"I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call it Eternity"
― Kosinski, Jerzy
"This is what I want so don't be sad."
― Nina LaCour, Hold Still
"When I am dead, and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain drenched hair,
Tho you should lean above me broken hearted,
I shall not care.
For I shall have peace.
As leafey trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough.
And I shall be more silent and cold hearted
Than you are now"
― Sara Teasdale
"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."
― George Sanders
"When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one."
― Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Unknown: "Bury this body in the ground that I have suffered on."
Peace.

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

As others have said they can call the cops on you. Had it happen when I told an online friend I was thinking about leaving, the cops showed up 15 minutes later at my door.

I had a friend who vanished from the discord server we used to game in and then we found his obituary and that's how the group learned of his fate. You can email people, I find those don't get checked as often. But if your friends really care and worry for you once you're gone for awhile they might do what me and my friends did which is look online for the obituary. I've considered sending goodbye messages, I've even told people straight up please talk to me I don't want to feel like this and I got hardly any replies--but to be fair most people don't know how to handle that type of crazy.

It's probably best from my experience to just go without saying goodbye. They might try to stop you and that's the end of the rope they'll give (from my experience) most people will just stop you then go back to ignoring you.

 

[TheDizzenter]

Just have a last conversation. You don't need to go clear.
Just do It, so you won't have the guilty you did nothing.
Eventually, is supposed of us being forgotten, I believe so.
So enjoy last times.
Like a normal conversation and nothing more.
This is going to help with guilty.
But don't reveal your tricks. Don't consider this.