Help Should I tell my online friends before I ctb

[Meimi18]

My current plan is to ctb and then have someone else send them the note afterwards, but I keep overthinking it. They'd be thinking I'm alive one moment and then the next they have a stranger telling them I've been dead for more than a day probably. On the other hand, telling them myself means they'll get a chance to talk me out of it, and I can't have that. Even if I still managed to go through with it, that means they'll have to live with the guilt that they couldn't talk me out of it. I'd just have them not feel bad about it if I could, but unfortunately, they really care. Or fortunately I guess, I got lucky in terms of friendships.

Everything is done through discord, so I can't send out a delayed message, and posting on any other social media means other people are going to see it.

I could just make sure they never get the news, but leaving them hanging like that sounds just as bad as any of the other options. There's just no good way to ease them into it, I've been going out of my way to make sure I'm chipper and fun so that they're happy at least, but that also means that me being dead would come as sudden news.
I can't push them away because that'll mean hurting them more, I can't just disappear on them, I don't want to lie to them, I don't know what to do anymore

 

[EyeWish...]

Well, you listed all the options that I can think of. Personally I think the best option is to push them away so that in the case they learn of your suicide they don't feel hurt. If you hurt them really bad they might even be happy you are gone. But idk, that's just me and my opinion.

 

[Meimi18]

Well, you listed all the options that I can think of. Personally I think the best option is to push them away so that in the case they learn of your suicide they don't feel hurt. If you hurt them really bad they might even be happy you are gone. But idk, that's just me and my opinion.

Well I suppose I could, problem is I'm not a fantastic liar nor am I particularly vicious
Honestly that option just kind of feels like I'd be accumulating even more hurt, so

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Telling them about your plan most likely will spoil your plan. There is no solution that won't hurt anyone. Suffering in the one or the other way is happening.

Unfortunately this is the truth. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Meimi18]

Telling them about your plan most likely will spoil your plan. There is no solution that won't hurt anyone. Suffering in the one or the other way is happening.

Unfortunately this is the truth. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Damn. Yeah alright that's how it is I guess
Thanks anyhow

 

[Linda]

It might be possible to get the best of both worlds. Can you tell them at the very last moment? So that even if they do try to intervene, it will be too late. Of course, much then depends on the method you use to ctb, and how quickly it works.

 

[Meimi18]

It might be possible to get the best of both worlds. Can you tell them at the very last moment? So that even if they do try to intervene, it will be too late. Of course, much then depends on the method you use to ctb, and how quickly it works.

Yeah I was thinking that, but some of them know my address, and while that's not where I'm gonna die I still don't want the police at my parent's doorstep + Slow method :/
No good solutions lol

 

[hail]

this will sound like a dumb question but do they know anything about you personally?

 

[Himeasa]

If you and your friends are on a Discord server, there is very likely a bot available which could send a scheduled message.

 

[John-Doe]

i've thought about this as well. maybe i'll leave a nice message saying how i've really enjoyed talking/other positive things about them depending on who it is, but without actually mentioning my suicide. this way i won't freak them out or get the cops called, but i'll still get to leave a nice goodbye message instead of ghosting everyone.

 

[Meimi18]

this will sound like a dumb question but do they know anything about you personally?

They sure do, I think we're pretty close. I had a brief manic stint where I told them about my plans, and they've been keeping a close eye ever since :/

 

[Himeasa]

i've thought about this as well. maybe i'll leave a nice message saying how i've really enjoyed talking/other positive things about them depending on who it is, but without actually mentioning my suicide. this way i won't freak them out or get the cops called, but i'll still get to leave a nice goodbye message instead of ghosting everyone.

Most people are aware that a message like this out of the blue is usually a red flag for impending suicide and by itself could cause emergency services being called on you, or at least your friends contacting you and then resorting to emergency services if there is no response.

 

[hail]

They sure do, I think we're pretty close. I had a brief manic stint where I told them about my plans, and they've been keeping a close eye ever since :/

@Himeasa mentioned the use of bots to schedule a message and i think that's your best option, goodluck in whatever choice you decide to make

 

[John-Doe]

Most people are aware that a message like this out of the blue is usually a red flag for impending suicide and by itself could cause emergency services called on you, or at least your friends contacting you and then resorting to emergency services if there is no response.

yeah that's very true, i think i'd be able to navigate it in a way that is not extremely obvious/out of the blue though. it would probably be mixed in with other replies and/or scheduled. i wouldn't make it feel like a vague suicide message i just want to leave some people on a positive note, even if it's subtle.

 

[mortuarymary]

Only you can decide that my friend

 

[Little_Suzy]

As the saying goes, people who truly want to kill themselves don't tell anyone. You're already aware that telling anyone beforehand will result in an attempt to prevent your suicide.

Don't bother your friends—you've decided to die!

 

[KarmaBus]

I would advise on not telling anyone beforehand, especially if they are keeping an eye on you. But, would it be possible for you to ask them for their email addresses? If some of them have your home address already, maybe you can say you want to update your address book with their contact information? You can send delayed emails that you could prepare in advance.

 

[DinoDaAltaTCPCacaRt]

I would do it, when my time is coming I may warn my friends first so there is no confusion or people thinking im ignoring them or whatever, just wont keep people waiting

 

[dysthymia]

write in your discord bio "Committed suicide (insert date here)"