Okokaykay
Member
- May 10, 2023
- 96
Genuinely, I don't know what to do. I started Sertraline (Zoloft) a long while ago.
It's helped me so I can go outside and talk to people without feeling unbelievably shit. I used to be borderline agoraphobic; overthinking every small thing that happened to me and never leaving my house or passing windows. Therapy didn't help so I cycled through medication until finding one that was slightly more bearable.
But, in starting this medication, I relapsed into sh and can't do any of the things I enjoy anymore. I'm not completely apathetic or "numb," I just can't get that sense of irreplaceable excitment that drove me to create things even when I was at my lowest. I can't draw anymore. I really, really can't.
Even when I was actively suicidal, I could at LEAST draw. I could at least get excited about the artists I looked up to, but I just can't anymore. I feel like I'm grieving a part of myself. I dont know if it sounds stupid or petty or childish.
I mean, I can function (for the most part) despite being overwhelmed with everything. I'm doing what everyone wants of me, but I just cant fucking draw. Art was all I had at one point, the one constant in my life to keep me afloat. I'm scared and miss everything I used to be, even if I was objectively "worse."
It's helped me so I can go outside and talk to people without feeling unbelievably shit. I used to be borderline agoraphobic; overthinking every small thing that happened to me and never leaving my house or passing windows. Therapy didn't help so I cycled through medication until finding one that was slightly more bearable.
But, in starting this medication, I relapsed into sh and can't do any of the things I enjoy anymore. I'm not completely apathetic or "numb," I just can't get that sense of irreplaceable excitment that drove me to create things even when I was at my lowest. I can't draw anymore. I really, really can't.
Even when I was actively suicidal, I could at LEAST draw. I could at least get excited about the artists I looked up to, but I just can't anymore. I feel like I'm grieving a part of myself. I dont know if it sounds stupid or petty or childish.
I mean, I can function (for the most part) despite being overwhelmed with everything. I'm doing what everyone wants of me, but I just cant fucking draw. Art was all I had at one point, the one constant in my life to keep me afloat. I'm scared and miss everything I used to be, even if I was objectively "worse."