Should I stop going to therapy?

[daikon]

I've been trying therapy for about eight years now. I think I've been to ten, in varying degrees, and none of them have helped. If I've gotten better it's only been from life events — getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, finding people I connect with, etc. I'm currently doing grief therapy (sort of), but it feels useless. My own therapist said he couldn't help me and he could only listen. At the same time, I'm very lonely, and most people in my life don't want to listen to my bullshit. I can talk to him about my suicidal feelings, and oddly he doesn't very much seem to care. I'm on my parents' insurance, so it's not like I'm really wasting my own money, but it feels stupid to pay someone to nod their head and say, "Yeah that sucks : ("

 

[Grumble]

That you are on a suicide site and saying you're very lonely suggests to me that you still need an outlet. Someone to vent to.

Do you have any mental health peer support groups in your area? I went to one of those for a while, and I'd say it's quite beneficial for what you're talking about. They can be tricky to find or poorly advertised, so it might require some digging. Mental health professionals would probably have information on what kind of groups (if any) are available around you. In my area, they have pamphlets about this sort of stuff.

If that's not an option, then I'd suggest stopping therapy with this current therapist, but continuing with another even if it feels a little redundant right now.

 

[TAW122]

I can't tell you what decision you have to make as it is ultimately up to you to decide what is best. However, I'll give you my take on this from my perspective. As someone who also has been in and out of therapy for most of his life, I'd stopped seeking therapeutic services as it didn't do much for me or achieved what I am seeking to achieve. I've been to no less than 10 therapists (including one psychiatrist) throughout my life. Needless to say, as a kid, I was naive and think that it would help solve my problems only to be disappointed that there is no concrete solution. Since I am a person who thinks in terms of logic and solutions for problems (even when sometimes there just isn't a rational solution or even an answer), therapy has at best, left me disappointed and frustrated; while the worst being a self-incriminating trap (there was a few times where I was questioned about whether I am a danger to myself or others; and of course, I knew better than to speak my mind as that would only result in intervention against my will and put me in a worse situation than before. Anybody who isn't looking to risk or get put into a psych hold would NOT speak the magic words or stuff that could do that. I have heard numerous stories of people being put into psychiatric holds and it has done more harm than good, contrary to what others claim.).

With all that said, religion has also been mostly useless for me too as I believe it is two sides of the same coin (but that's another discussion for another time). Religion, especially faith is the belief of something while lacking (sufficient, concrete) evidence. That does not bode well for me, especially as someone who operates under logic and proof based thinking. I am simply not convinced of something just because someone tells me that I should 'believe' in it. Without sufficient evidence or guaranty of something, I find it difficult to believe in something. However, I digress. The things that ultimately helped me (and I am mostly speaking for myself here) is my own self, finding things that I assign meaning to and achieving my goals as well as finding the problems that I wish to solve and then taking steps to solve them. That has done FAR more for me than therapy and religion.

Ultimately, it is your decision to make, but hopefully my experiences may give you a better idea of which decision is best for you.

 

[k75]

I feel like I could have written this...

I'm on therapist number 8 or 10. Lost count. Most of them don't know what to do with me and have no idea how to treat me. I often wonder if it's worth it to continue. In a way, I have to continue because certain things in my life require a history of getting treatment and having a therapist vouch for my mental state. So I'm kind of trapped playing the game.

It gets really frustrating, because truly the only way to actually get help is to let them know exactly what's going on in my head, but you can't say you're seriously suicidal with a plan and not get sectioned. So it always falls short of what I guess I really need.

I have figured out how to get very close to the truth without getting committed, but I can't help but wonder if I could be totally honest if it would change anything. I've told multiple mental health professionals that I have suicidal ideation, but when they asked questions about do you feel safe, do you have a plan, have you set a date... The only option is to lie and downplay the situation. Which makes them take you less seriously and feel like it's not a problem that needs to be addressed.

I think it is helpful have someone listen to you and be able to vent, so if you don't have anyone else in your life that you can do that with, it might be helpful to continue with therapy just for that. It's better than bottling everything up. I can say from experience, that only works for so long and when it comes out it's so much worse than it originally was.

 

[daikon]

That you are on a suicide site and saying you're very lonely suggests to me that you still need an outlet. Someone to vent to.

Do you have any mental health peer support groups in your area? I went to one of those for a while, and I'd say it's quite beneficial for what you're talking about. They can be tricky to find or poorly advertised, so it might require some digging. Mental health professionals would probably have information on what kind of groups (if any) are available around you. In my area, they have pamphlets about this sort of stuff.

If that's not an option, then I'd suggest stopping therapy with this current therapist, but continuing with another even if it feels a little redundant right now.

I don't think that's an option. Hypothetically I'm leaving the country for a job in a month and a half, and it seems like the usual advice is to stay in them for a while. I tried to join a grief group but they never got back to me.

Another problem is every week there's always some new catastrophe happening in my life that I want to go over with a therapist, but I can do also that with a friend — and I only hear from my friends like once or twice a week anyway.

It does seem like a good idea to stop.

 

[Final Escape]

Most therapists don't know how to help. You might be better off doing therapy on yourself if you are at least functional enough. http://spartanlifecoach.com/ if you are willing to do the work this guy has some effective therapy techniques. It's not free but it's more affordable for the average person.

 

[Painted Bird]

Eight years of unsuccessful therapy says it all - it's a useless hoax meant for milking $$$ from patients/insurance. Just like you said, in only gets better when you make it better - getting friends, etc. You're the only one who can save yourself.