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EmoIsNotAPhase
Member
- Jan 12, 2019
- 82
I keep tittering between leaving and staying. Do I tell someone how bad I'm doing? That it's crossing my mind every day every chance I'm not busy? That's I'm struggling not to cut and drink every night. That I ended up relapsing with cutting a month ago after sucking 5 years free from it? That I don't have the strength to keep fighting and at the very least I fucking need a break. That this site is the only escape I have right now. Will they get mad or annoyed? Will they yell at me? Will they cry? Will I end up having to comfort them like in the past? How much longer can I realistically fight this on my own? I feel like it's not much longer. I'm getting closer and closer to the edge. I'm in therapy but never want to go impatient ever again (they sent me home on medication that made me suicidal just like they always warned in antidepressant commercials) so I'm scared to say that this is going more and more past ideation. I just don't know what to do anymore