fuhloof
Member
- Dec 19, 2021
- 12
i feel like ill just be idling about for the rest of my life, passively ideating about suicide anyway, so should i just end it early? this is a rhetorical question by the way -- my answer is unequivocally yes, but the problem is i have no idea how to. well... actually i do, there are lots of ways, but frankly im too lazy to pursue any of them. anyway i went on a bit of a tangent there. let me explain a bit about what brought me to this point in my life. iiii.... i was a neet for a few good years because i didnt wanna do anything with my life. i had developed staunch antiwork sentiments which made me wanna be a neet forever; i was like "ah fuck it, i just wanna lay down and rot until i die." and yeah, i guess that has persisted and now im just like... what am i still doing here anyway? i feel like someone like me should be eligible for euthanasia or something like that bc why tf am i even alive? what am i supposed to do here for the rest of my life if i dont even want to be here? i dont have some overarching hobby which sustains me and causes the blood to course through my veins. and i doubt with my unmotivated, attention-deficit brain, i would ever find anything which id enjoy doing long-term. everything is just boring and unstimulating and a mechanism for distracting me from my existential void. anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk! if you couldnt already tell, im kind of a useless leech to my family... just a fun fact for you.
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