Should i help my suicidal friend?

[KiraComplex]

Im absolutely pro choice but my friend has been threatening suicide for a while now and shes thinking about going through it and i love her so much and she has a lot going for her and i dont know if i should talk her out of it or just help her do it?? I dont know what to do.

 

[AnnonyBox]

I've had this happen to me before. The only thing that really helped in my case was being upfront with them, letting them know I felt exactly how they felt, and letting them know that I understood, but that I thought they were a good enough person that they deserved another chance. I don't know if my experience is at all applicable to your situation though. Sorry if I'm just wasting your time with this, I realize you want replies that actually offer some amount of assistance, rather than just anecdotal advice.

 

[KiraComplex]

I've had this happen to me before. The only thing that really helped in my case was being upfront with them, letting them know I felt exactly how they felt, and letting them know that I understood, but that I thought they were a good enough person that they deserved another chance. I don't know if my experience is at all applicable to your situation though. Sorry if I'm just wasting your time with this, I realize you want replies that actually offer some amount of assistance, rather than just anecdotal advice.

Youre good luv!
And i think being upfront is really all you can do in these situations. Because i cant "tell it how it is" (he doesnt love you anymore because you werent very nice to him for example) because shit can backfire

 

[SinisterKid]

If she decides that she is to leave this life behind, you have to respect that is her choice to make and support her. But do not assist or offer to assist her in any way other than that. You could end up in a great deal of trouble if you "help" her in any way and you need to be very aware of that. Moral support is fine, anything else has the potential to see you prosecuted for something [rules vary across the world] like manslaughter/aiding and abetting suicide or the like.

 

[KiraComplex]

If she decides that she is to leave this life behind, you have to respect that is her choice to make and support her. But do not assist or offer to assist her in any way other than that. You could end up in a great deal of trouble if you "help" her in any way and you need to be very aware of that. Moral support is fine, anything else has the potential to see you prosecuted for something [rules vary across the world] like manslaughter/aiding and abetting suicide or the like.

Thats a dilemma...
If i know shes going to fuck up her method and become brain dead, then am i willing to potentially fuck up my entire life and butcher my chances of killing myself??

 

[nothingleft]

I'm just speaking from my own experiences here. But trying to save someone who is hell bent on self-destruction has always been impossible for me, and also really draining and demoralizing. If she's asking for emotional support and you feel capable of being there for her, then do what you feel is best. But you have to know your limits.

 

[Partial-Elf]

If this started happening with any friend of mine I'd probably try to change the subject or reduce contact. Because I'm not about to have them baker acted but I'm also not about to be arrested for aiding or not preventing or whatever stupid shit.

As much as it sucks, preserving one's ability to ctb at will has to remain the highest priority in my opinion. Anything that jeopardizes that including incarceration or hospitalization should be viewed with extreme skepticism. It's sucks that that's the case but it's the rule book in this god forsaken place

 

[Stan]

And i think being upfront is really all you can do in these situations. Because i cant "tell it how it is" (he doesnt love you anymore because you werent very nice to him for example) because shit can backfire

Depends how you would personally like to be as a friend. Sometimes a friend is the one who tells the truth, you don't have to dress it up as sometimes it is hard enough in its purist state. If her wish to to cbt is over a failed relationship and they are young (whatever that means) then it could be temporary thing. But I know very little about the situation you are in or whether she feels like this constantly and this is a trigger.

 

[KiraComplex]

Depends how you would personally like to be as a friend. Sometimes a friend is the one who tells the truth, you don't have to dress it up as sometimes it is hard enough in its purist state. If her wish to to cbt is over a failed relationship and they are young (whatever that means) then it could be temporary thing. But I know very little about the situation you are in or whether she feels like this constantly and this is a trigger.

Shes 16, and she broke up with her bf a month or so ago. Too young to die, in my opinion.

 

[Stan]

Shes 16, and she broke up with her bf a month or so ago. Too young to die, in my opinion.

Is it only this breakup that's given her those thoughts or is there an underlying problem with her?

 

[Strangeasangels]

Maybe she is asking for help?

I am suicidal and i tell no one as none of my friends know how i feel. They know i get depressed especially because i have had challenging circumstances but never would i tell them that i come here or research methods for offing myself. I know their concern would come from a good place but they do not know what it is like to wake up as me.

My nephew killed himself 10 years ago. NObody saw it coming. People who are serious do not tell people. People who are reaching out for help do.

 

[mnjkl]

Shes 16, and she broke up with her bf a month or so ago. Too young to die, in my opinion.

Yes that's very young. I think you should encourage her to give it a few more years, a lot will change during that time.

 

[Thetimeisnow]

Maybe she is asking for help?

I am suicidal and i tell no one as none of my friends know how i feel. They know i get depressed especially because i have had challenging circumstances but never would i tell them that i come here or research methods for offing myself. I know their concern would come from a good place but they do not know what it is like to wake up as me.

My nephew killed himself 10 years ago. NObody saw it coming. People who are serious do not tell people. People who are reaching out for help do.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with that... I have reached a place where I can talk to people about it but it does not reduce my chances of doing it slightly. In fact sometimes the more I talk about it with people the more it triggers what ends up to be an attempt. I don't know.

 

[Jean Améry]

That's a tough situation, you have my sympathy.

I would try to convince her to seek solutions to her problems before opting for the most drastic solution.

Personally I would never rat out someone who is suicidal (even when I think it's a bad idea) since it would be a betrayal of my moral principles but in that case I would make it very clear that a) I'm not encouraging that person to seek death, b) I'd prefer them to live if that would be a reasonable option and c) if they were to do it I would not appreciate it if they texted me or called me beforehand as this could lead to legal difficulties.

'Threatening suicide' is fairly stupid. Talking about it is something entirely different. If I felt someone was trying to manipulate me by acting like they want to kill themselves I'd cut them out of my life asap. If they're sincere I would feel for them and try to help them in any way I could that would not jeopardize my freedom and safety.

 

[Read123456788]

Im absolutely pro choice but my friend has been threatening suicide for a while now and shes thinking about going through it and i love her so much and she has a lot going for her and i dont know if i should talk her out of it or just help her do it?? I dont know what to do.

I've not been in this situation but I think I'd tell them I'm supportive of their decision either way they decide. You can't spend your life asking them not to do it and likewise if they want to do it they will with or without your help. Just be supportive and tell them so x

 

[Stan]

I think we need to look through the post again, if I am reading it right, its a 16 year old girl suffering from a split with her boyfriend. I am probably going to get some abuse for this but I would prescribe 2 days of sitting in her room playing Adele on loop and eating tones of ice cream whilst watching romcom movies. There is no way on earth I could support someone 16 years old to cbt for that reason alone, perspective needs to be had in comparison to some of the truly harrowing stories told in this forum. This doesn't even get close to reason imho.

Does she need a friend to talk to? Yes. Is her life over through the only reason that her teenage boyfriend left her.....?

 

[TAW122]

I think you should lend a ear and emotional support for your friend if possible. As for the age, yes I would concur (in my opinion of course) with others that she is a bit young to consider CTB and should at least give more thought before going through with it. I would not encourage them to do anything NOR aid them in anyway (for legal reasons mainly), however, I would also not attempt to interfere with her.

 

[hobbydevil]

16 is way too young, and a lost high-school relationship too minor a reason on its own. Don't get me wrong, relationships and their ends can be devastating even at that age... But it's something she can come back from stronger for sure. Just be a friend and lend her an ear. Distract her if possible. Remind her that her life is her own and not built around a teenage boy. At 16, her brain is still developing and maturing, and it's possible she can't comprehend how permanent the decision to kill herself would really be. So many things can change so fast when you're a teen. Best of luck to both of you, I hope she gets better.

 

[GeorgeJL]

As her friend you should help her live first because there is no going back from CTB. You can always reverse other things such as therapy, medication, etc, but you can't reverse death. So help her live first but if she insists on exiting life then advise her perhaps. It's illegal to help her or assist so don't do that, but.