Help Should I break up with my girlfriend before trying to CTB?

[KrowaKovsky]

If so, how long should I wait to CTB after? It's more of a "I don't want to traumatize them again" because they've had a partner CTB in the past and they were the one who found said partner. As much as I want to die, I'd rather not ruin someone's life in the process.

Edit: this is more of a "input wanted" type of post, less a "should I just CTB without regard to the problems of anyone around me"

 

[DepressedChemMajor]

I guess you should break up, but if they know about what's been happening with you, I think they'll figure out that you broke up with them to CTB

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Sorry. Even if we'd factor out the history of your gf(meaning they had a prev party CTB before), you're still going to leave her with trauma.

 

[ObssessedEirika]

You really have to make sure the news doesn't get to her. A breakup like that being so sudden would also traumatize her sadly. If you ctb right after breaking up then the dots are connected and she'll know. It really depends on the timing of it. I'd say wait a good few months or if they follow you online, try blocking them or something. I really think they'll figure it out either way though.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Since she had a previous partner ctb, I think you only have two options:
1. ctb without breaking up and don't traumatize them thrice from breakup + ctb + past ctb
This seems risky because no idea how they would take it, but I should imagine really badly. I personally wouldn't do this to someone.
2. break up, and disappear completely from their lives, and after a "long" period,
I think this is better. If she knows you ctb it's always going to haunt her no matter what, given her past. There needs to be no possibility that she can feel at fault for this.

I don't think there is an ideal solution, because I see 2 more alternatives which might be better that don't involve a planned ctb.
* Don't break up and fight for life, and if you break up naturally, ctb preferably without her knowledge as in 2.
* Break up, and carry on for as long as possible while disappearing from her life, and if you do end up ctbing hopefully its a lot closer to an ideal 2. scenario.

 

[EyeWish...]

You could frame your death as an accident. I don't know how you would pull that off but it would sure as hell not make her trauma any worse. That way you don't have to break up if you don't want to. Of course she'd still have a hard time after you do the deed but it should be easier on her believing it was an accident.

 

[wisp]

No because in case you have to give up CTB, you will also be left alone. If you die don't worry, she will find someone else after a couple of tears anyway. Life goes on

 

[Nothing………………….]

No because in case you have to give up CTB, you will also be left alone. If you die don't worry, she will find someone else after a couple of tears anyway. Life goes on

I feel like someone on this site should know better than any that no, life doesn't always just go on. Especially in the case of trauma which is life altering for anybody who experiences it.

 

[wisp]

I feel like someone on this site should know better than any that no, life doesn't always just go on. Especially in the case of trauma which is life altering for anybody who experiences it.

I meant that life goes on for his girlfriend, not for him, no matter if he wants to leave her. Life will go on for her, and after two cries she will find someone else

 

[rozeske]

The most ideal way will be to breakup with her and wait for a good while before you ctb so even if the news gets to her she won't be hurt much. This also comes with a risk if you change your plan to ctb.....it just depends on how long you want/can wait and stick around.

If you can't wait no more you could 1. make sure she won't be the one to find you (obviously)
2. You could leave her a note stating among other things your decision to ctb has nothing to do with her.

At the end ot the day we need to accept suicide is perceived very harshly and it will endup hurting our loved ones.

 

[Nothing………………….]

I meant that life goes on for his girlfriend, not for him, no matter if he wants to leave her. Life will go on for her, and after two cries she will find someone else

Yea and I'm saying that it may not be that simple, she is likely to suffer even more trauma which will certainly be life altering, and could lead her to ctb

 

[hermestrimegistus]

If you care about this person, even a tiny bit, absolutely break up with them. If you're going to CTB, the most selfish thing you could do is stay in a relationship. Don't be mean. Let them know you care about them. But end it. It's not fair or right to keep someone under the impression you're going to be around if you're planning on going away permanently. Do not do that to them. It's borderline evil

 

[SexyIncél]

Ok, losing 2 bfs due to suicide seems a bit high

Make the breakup amicable af. Ensure she knows you're not getting another girl. If feasible, maybe help them get a diff guy who's not just a low-quality rebound

btw what's she like? How hard was she fucked up by her previous bf's ctb? Did it impact her personality? Is she pro-lifer now?

 

[Nothing………………….]

Ok, losing 2 bfs due to suicide seems a bit high

Make the breakup amicable af. Ensure she knows you're not getting another girl. If feasible, maybe help them get a diff guy who's not just a low-quality rebound

btw what's she like? How hard was she fucked up by her previous bf's ctb? Did it impact her personality? Is she pro-lifer now?

I think almost everybody who's never been suicidal, and most people who have recovered from being suicidal are pro lifers by default.

 

[ceilng_tile]

If you have the patience for it, you can try to induce a mutual breakup. This is where you become more and more distant. Become quieter and more passive and boring when you're around her and make your dates less and less frequent. This may come to the point where you mutually decide that you have lost the spark for each other and the breakup is drama free. Then give it some time for her to emotionally move on before you ctb.

This only works in some instances. If you're living together or she's really in love with you, this may not work.