Should I be mad at my gf for not wanting me to ctb?

[stargazingalone]

I told my girlfriend my plans to ctb, and she's trying to get me to continue living, saying stuff like that she believes in me, or wants me to continue living because she loves me. Which is I guess nice of her, but I feel like she's not trying to view things from my perspective. I tried to explain my feelings, and that professional help never actually helped, just made me feel worse, and that I don't see myself becoming a functioning person after I finish school (which I'm already failing), but she kept shutting me down.
I know that she cares about me, but I just feel so angry and misunderstood, and I don't know if that anger is justified or not.

 

[Darkover]

If you love someone and they want to leave, you help them pack. That's love.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Dump her! You sought her validation, but she left you feeling angry and misunderstood.

 

[DepressedChemMajor]

Dump her! You sought her validation, but she left you feeling angry and misunderstood.

If you love someone and they want to leave, you help them pack. That's love.

But I think on the other hand that it's kinda understandable that you don't want to lose your loved one? I don't know man, if you think about it it's kinda just selfishness that she doesn't let him go but it's still kinda justified no?

 

[boddibo]

I understand why you feel upset about the situation, but as DepressedChemMajor stated, not everyone wants to lose their loved ones. I think it would be more concerning if they were just accepting it right away or even trying to help you with doing it. They're not voluntarily trying to be dismissive of your feelings, I believe it makes people human to first try to find alternatives to ctb. Yet, I understand your feelings about it, and it's justified to a certain extent, because it's hurting you, but don't be too hard on them, they just care about you.

 

[Rapière]

I'm the first person to call out the "suicidal people are selfish" rhetoric, but expecting your loved ones to clap along as you march towards your end is ridiculous and out of touch with humanity. They wouldn't be your loved ones if they could accept your death so easily.

If you love someone and they want to leave, you help them pack. That's love.

And then, after he's gone, she'll cut off her hair and swear to never take another man again?

 

[rozeske]

Deciding to ctb is a decision that we solely make after evaluating our own life. I don't believe that anyone would have a positive insight towards it let alone our loved ones. It would be a common reaction for a loved one to try everything in their power to change your mind and keep you here. It would be near impossible for them to understand your pain and torment. Only you can know that. I can understand your frustration of being misunderstood though

 

[quietwater]

I told my girlfriend my plans to ctb, and she's trying to get me to continue living, saying stuff like that she believes in me, or wants me to continue living because she loves me. Which is I guess nice of her, but I feel like she's not trying to view things from my perspective. I tried to explain my feelings, and that professional help never actually helped, just made me feel worse, and that I don't see myself becoming a functioning person after I finish school (which I'm already failing), but she kept shutting me down.
I know that she cares about me, but I just feel so angry and misunderstood, and I don't know if that anger is justified or not.

I think it's understandable that your girlfriend doesn't want you to ctb, she doesn't want to lose you. People do not want to lose their loved ones, and they don't want to sit down saying nothing while they suffer and disappear. I understand that you feel misunderstood, it's normal to feel these emotions too, but I am sure your girlfriend doesn't mean harm.
I wish you the best ★

 

[dynastickitten]

These comments ain't it. She cares about you. You don't allow someone you care about to irreversibly harm themselves with absolutely no protest. If you want to commit then that's your choice, but you shouldn't be mad at the people around you for trying to convince you not to. They're trying to help in the best and the only way they can. It's the normal course of action

 

[Thanksforeverything]

If you loved your mom and all she wanted was to CTB, would you encourage her, even if you knew full well how she might feel? I couldn't. I know why I want to CTB but I still would do anything to help her, even if it was impossible, because I love her. Emotions and attachments are not things reliant on rationality or logic. It's an inherently flawed concept, but an inherently humane part of us. Your girlfriend loves you. She wants you to be happy, she wants to be with you, she wants you to be with her. Could you honestly say that you would want your girlfriend to CTB and actively encourage her if she told you about her plans?

Please look at it from her perspective and how she might feel. Of course, you might feel as if your feelings are being invalidated, but have you really considered hers? At the end of the day, choosing to CTB is everyone's own choice. But never be under any illusion that it won't affect the people around you. Because it will. I intend to make my choice fully understanding the gravity of what I'm about to do. I hope you will consider doing the same and make it so that you leave as little impact on those around you as possible. Although, to be fair, that might not really be possible, but one can hope.

Don't lash out at your girlfriend. It'll only make things worse for her. It's not the kind of memory you want her to remember you by if you do go through with it.

 

[CannabisMuncher]

I told my girlfriend my plans to ctb, and she's trying to get me to continue living, saying stuff like that she believes in me, or wants me to continue living because she loves me. Which is I guess nice of her, but I feel like she's not trying to view things from my perspective. I tried to explain my feelings, and that professional help never actually helped, just made me feel worse, and that I don't see myself becoming a functioning person after I finish school (which I'm already failing), but she kept shutting me down.
I know that she cares about me, but I just feel so angry and misunderstood, and I don't know if that anger is justified or not.

personally i wouldnt be mad. She clearly loves you and doesnt want to see you go. Its a moral dilemma. She clearly wants you to feel better about living. I wouldnt be upset personally, but your feelings are valid regardless

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable, sadly I just believe that so many people are too selfish to support the decision to die which is why I'd see it as for the best not to open up about it in the first place. Many won't even try to understand and believe that the suffering of others should be prolonged no matter what simply because they wish to continue existing.

 

[slightoverlooked]

as someone who is very suicidal i would still react like this if a loved one would tell me they want to ctb. she loves you and no one wants to see their loved ones die early bc if there is one thing i learned that is that even if you dont have hope for yourself...your loved ones do have hope for you that things will get better. and you cant blame them for it. they want you to get better. if there wouldn't be any hope in their eyes than they would let you go. i have seen people let me go thinking i wont get better but my mom and real friends they cry for me and beg me to stay because they think there is still hope and that things will get better. they r not the best at it or the best friends but they try. i didn't read all of the comments but pls dont listen to bs ppl say. i understand that you are angry. i get angry too. i get so angry and shout at them and say "you guys just want me to live for your sake! you dont give a fuck about my feelings. you are selfish for forcing me to suffer."
while that might be partially true they also have hope that one day i will feel loved, i wont sh, i will stop starving myself.
i hope i could show you a different perspective on this. i understand your anger and feelings very well.

 

[Worndown]

Since she is not you, she does not know your life. She does not experience what is driving you to ctb. She knows you are in danger and is trying to help.
That is hard to do when you do not know what is wrong. She is doing what she can to keep you alive. I would be more concerned is the just said "ok, bye" and let you go.
Since she now knows your intent, you might as well explain this to her. Ler her know this issues that trouble you.
Maybe you two can find a way to survive. If not, at least she will know why you are gone.

 

[stargazingalone]

But I think on the other hand that it's kinda understandable that you don't want to lose your loved one? I don't know man, if you think about it it's kinda just selfishness that she doesn't let him go but it's still kinda justified

I understand why you feel upset about the situation, but as DepressedChemMajor stated, not everyone wants to lose their loved ones. I think it would be more concerning if they were just accepting it right away or even trying to help you with doing it. They're not voluntarily trying to be dismissive of your feelings, I believe it makes people human to first try to find alternatives to ctb. Yet, I understand your feelings about it, and it's justified to a certain extent, because it's hurting you, but don't be too hard on them, they just care about you.

as someone who is very suicidal i would still react like this if a loved one would tell me they want to ctb. she loves you and no one wants to see their loved ones die early bc if there is one thing i learned that is that even if you dont have hope for yourself...your loved ones do have hope for you that things will get better. and you cant blame them for it. they want you to get better. if there wouldn't be any hope in their eyes than they would let you go. i have seen people let me go thinking i wont get better but my mom and real friends they cry for me and beg me to stay because they think there is still hope and that things will get better. they r not the best at it or the best friends but they try. i didn't read all of the comments but pls dont listen to bs ppl say. i understand that you are angry. i get angry too. i get so angry and shout at them and say "you guys just want me to live for your sake! you dont give a fuck about my feelings. you are selfish for forcing me to suffer."
while that might be partially true they also have hope that one day i will feel loved, i wont sh, i will stop starving myself.
i hope i could show you a different perspective on this. i understand your anger and feelings very well.

I never really thought about it that way, thanks for your input on this! <3

 

[figurehead]

I told my girlfriend my plans to ctb, and she's trying to get me to continue living, saying stuff like that she believes in me, or wants me to continue living because she loves me. Which is I guess nice of her, but I feel like she's not trying to view things from my perspective. I tried to explain my feelings, and that professional help never actually helped, just made me feel worse, and that I don't see myself becoming a functioning person after I finish school (which I'm already failing), but she kept shutting me down.
I know that she cares about me, but I just feel so angry and misunderstood, and I don't know if that anger is justified or not.

If she didn't love and were trying to convince you otherwise simply out of spite, I'd you should be mad, but, that having said, you would't go out with her if that was true... Anyway, you have the right to have the final say after all it's your decision. But she's entitled to feel pain knowing that you intend to CTB. You can accept that or not, but there's no real stopping her to feel that. I think it's a bonus to know that someone love us.

 

[Argo]

Part of the problem is she is suffering. And when she's in that state, she cannot help but cause you to suffer and fail to attend to your suffering. And this is not some unique problem with her, it's the problem we all have. You can't help her suffering because you're also very busy suffering, and no one would blame you-- especially not here, since people here more easily understand you. If she's someone who truly doesn't care about you in any worthwhile way, then, that does happen, and you'll need to examine that carefully for yourself. But it's easy to get this confused because... well... we're all just these dumb, egomaniacal monkeys with clothes on.

 

[MyLuckyStars]

I'm the first person to call out the "suicidal people are selfish" rhetoric, but expecting your loved ones to clap along as you march towards your end is ridiculous and out of touch with humanity. They wouldn't be your loved ones if they could accept your death so easily.

And then, after he's gone, she'll cut off her hair and swear to never take another man again?

pretty much my opinion. i get how annoying it is to be met with platitudes from people who dont get it, but if they let you go without a fus itd be pretty weird. no typical person works like that