Discussion Should hurting people in dying be a reason to not CTB

[SomewhatLoved]

I'm curious what you all think about this. Should people being hurt by your death be a reason to not CTB?

For example, let's say you CTB in a way that your body isn't left looking grotesque, and you are in a location where you are either never found or you are found by first responders (so no bystander, friend, or family is traumatized). Essentially, the method of your CTB includes due diligence to not unnecessarily traumatize anyone. In these cases, should guilt over how your family or friends would feel be a deterrent?

I have been suicidal/depressed for 11+ years, the reason I ask this is because a few years ago my brother attempted CTB and failed, ended up in the ICU for some time but made a full neurological recovery. I think I would have killed myself a long time ago if it wasn't for this guilt, but part of me thinks it is my life and I should do what I want as long as I try to minimize the amount of trauma it causes to my family.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

In my opinion, no. I'd still ctb even if my family members were to be hurt (which they will be of course) as my life is mine only and I shouldn't have to owe my life to anybody else. Yes, my family would get traumatised but grief is inevitable anyway even if I weren't to kill myself as I'm going to have to die eventually anyway. My parents brought this upon themselves via procreation. If they didn't want to deal with grief, they shouldn't have gave birth to me in the first place. Plus the grief is transient anyway and honestly doesn't even last that long

 

[divinemistress36]

In my opinion, no. I'd still ctb even if my family members were to be hurt (which they will be of course) as my life is mine only and I shouldn't have to owe my life to anybody else. Yes, my family would get traumatised but grief is inevitable anyway even if I weren't to kill myself as I'm going to have to die eventually anyway. My parents brought this upon themselves via procreation. If they didn't want to deal with grief, they shouldn't have gave birth to me in the first place. Plus the grief is transient anyway and honestly doesn't even last that long

Valid point

 

[Life'sA6itch]

In two words, hell no. You could get hit by a car or train, wouldn't they hurt? You could die slowly of some punishing disease, be murdered walking your dog, all sorts of ways to die. Natural and not. While the various ways may invoke different feelings for some people, you can either languish and live, be miserable, even for some in this world who may not know or care, or you can put yourself first whether that means living or dying. It is no one's choice but yours. It's the waffling back and forth that you may regret and you may even find yourself resenting those who could be left behind due to you putting them ahead of yourself. I can tell you from experience, putting others ahead of oneself can be very problematic. I hope you find peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it often is a deterrent for people. Whether it should be though is another matter. Should we feel indebted to them to carry on suffering in order that they don't feel upset or inconvenienced? Who's pain is worse or, more valid? The ideal would be that suicide could be discussed more openly and hopefully be accepted by loved ones before someone goes.

Is it kind for someone to say: I'm going to hold on for this or that person because, I don't want to put them through that? Yes. Is it kind for loved ones to realise that a person's future consists only of pain and not want them to live like that- so they let them go? Yes- I'd say that was the truest most selfless love there is.

I have a slight bias when it comes to people leaving behind dependents because, I grew up without my Mum. (Death by natural causes.) I feel like there is an intrinsic responsibility towards children but then, it must be awful to be going through ideation and having dependents. It's probably not fair of me to judge. I just have my own experience of that that taints my judgement.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

It's your place to judge how much you care about others getting hurt.

 

[affirmatice]

I don't know… what I do know, is that living for the sole purpose of keeping others happy, is far from enough to make you happy.

Therefore, not hurting others is not a reason to live. At least in my opinion.

 

[Lifeless Star]

I think caring how people will feel once you're gone is a good thing for sure, it means you're a good person. But I don't think that not hurting others is a good reason to continue to be in pain yourself. It's your life and your choice to make regardless of how other people will feel about it. Gotta do what's best for yourself. Don't suffer on someone else's account. But I do think if you can try to minimize the amount that they'll be traumatized by it as much as you can then that's defo a good thing.

 

[Unleashtherain]

I think it all depends how dire the situation and how much you are suffering.

 

[chocolocothechocobo]

I think staying alive for others can be a reason to not ctb short term. It kept me from trying non methods.
Long term however this is just not it. If you cant find another reason to stay, its not worth it to not ctb in my opinion.