Venting Shit Vent Thread (Ignore), alt. "But Nothing Happened"

[BeansOfRequirement]

No energy, very depressed (severe physical symptoms, which is rare for me) led me to tell my parents that I want to die (for the tenth time, lmfao).

"But nothing happened." - Mom.

Yes, nothing happened. I didn't graduate from college, I didn't experience love, I didn't become self-reliant, I didn't grow, I didn't make money, I didn't have fun experiences, I didn't make friends, I didn't fucking live. Nothing happened.

Wow, this was cringy. I don't have the energy to not post it now that I've re-written this in several ways. The first was an entire diary including exactly what little I had to eat, so I spared you that, at least. Fuck my entire life, I'm getting close to doing it.

 

[Symbiote]

I think your mom just told you to die in a passive aggressive way. It's like my wife telling me, "but you're still here, why are you still here then?"

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I think your mom just told you to die in a passive aggressive way. It's like my wife telling me, "but you're still here, why are you still here then?"

I wish that was the case.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know what having no energy and feeling extremely unmotivated feels like so, I understand what you're going through.
Just take your time and think things through. There's always another day to die.
Also, remember that most people will not understand the way we feel even though we explain to them perfectly the reasons why we wanna die so badly.

When I used to talk to my parents, therapist and friends about suicide, they just answered things like: "Well, you're still here." "Life is precious" "you would've already ctb if you really wanted to do it" , etc.

Wish you the best and see you around, pal!

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I know what having no energy and feeling extremely unmotivated feels like so, I understand what you're going through.
Just take your time and think things through. There's always another day to die.
Also, remember that most people will not understand the way we feel even though we explain to them perfectly the reasons why we wanna die so badly.

When I used to talk to my parents, therapist and friends about suicide, they just answered things like: "Well, you're still here." "Life is precious" "you would've already ctb if you really wanted to do it" , etc.

Wish you the best and see you around, pal!

My dad suggested to go back to the psychiatrists, jfl. Only on SS can we find people that know what we're even talking about. Thank you for the kind words. My method requires measuring, planning and probably even buying an additional item, along with need for a big risk tolerance (facing risk of vegetative state), so I can't really do it on impulse or whim (which is the only time when I can see myself actually escaping, lol).

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Yes, nothing happened. I didn't graduate from college, I didn't experience love, I didn't become self-reliant, I didn't grow, I didn't make money, I didn't have fun experiences, I didn't make friends, I didn't fucking live. Nothing happened.

If you're going to personally attack me, the least you could do is put an end to me.

 

[Last chance]

If you're going to personally attack me, the least you could do is put an end to me.

(didnt mean to reply and dont know how to get rid of it sorry!)

So that we don't hijack the other thread and without sounding like a creepy old man - How old are you Genes?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

(didnt mean to reply and dont know how to get rid of it sorry!)

So that we don't hijack the other thread and without sounding like a creepy old man - How old are you Genes?

23

 

[ZardozOmega]

I'm in a similar-ish position

 

[Last chance]

23

Ah so you shouldn't even be on here according to some,you come across as older.

I was in a similar situation mentally when I was 23,the only difference was I was a total fucking drunken punk rock mess who stank and lived in a shit hole.No girl would even come near me. Things did get better though,then worse again,then better again,then worse and with the amount of effort it sounds like you put into yourself I think it's only a matter of the four letter word "time" before things get better for you somehow (obviously I dont know your full situation mentally and all that jazz and Im trying not to preach).

Im trying to decide if I wish I had just killed killed myself back then instead of carrying on to the ripe old age of 37. I would have missed out on a fair amount of good stuff but at the same time I would have missed out on a shit load of soul destroying pain. Hmmmmm.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Ah so you shouldn't even be on here according to some,you come across as older.

I was in a similar situation mentally when I was 23,the only difference was I was a total fucking drunken punk rock mess who stank and lived in a shit hole.No girl would even come near me. Things did get better though,then worse again,then better again,then worse and with the amount of effort it sounds like you put into yourself I think it's only a matter of the four letter word "time" before things get better for you somehow (obviously I dont know your full situation mentally and all that jazz and Im trying not to preach).

Im trying to decide if I wish I had just killed killed myself back then instead of carrying on to the ripe old age of 37. I would have missed out on a fair amount of good stuff but at the same time I would have missed out on a shit load of soul destroying pain. Hmmmmm.

I thought you were going to stop giving me dopamine hits...

My case is pretty much open and shut, I've posted several times about my situation and should probably not do it for the thousandth time lol.

 

[rs929]

I send you a hug, despite you being a nasty troll sometimes.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I send you a hug, despite you being a nasty troll sometimes.

Thanks bruv.