Venting She’s talking to my friend now

[ThatStateOfMind]

My ex-girlfriend of over a year is now talking to my ex-friend. She broke up with me a month ago and I stupidly held out hope that she would come back but that hope has been pretty crushed recently. She came by to drop off some stuff and we drive around in her car, she talked about how she misses me and shit, I reciprocate, as I really do miss her. Suddenly, she gets a call from my ex friend and her coworker, but on her radio it shows the contact name, which read "my baby (insert friend name)" and I fucking lost it, it wasn't my proudest moment, I broke down and just asked her to take me home. I went in, didn't lock the door and tossed some stuff in anger, and cried my eyes out honestly. I'm a very emotional guy and I've lost control of emotions recently and they just pour out now. Well, where I didn't lock the door, she came in and tried to comfort me, we talked and she said there wasn't much love between this friend and her and they've only been talking for a week (which means they started talking 3 weeks after we broke up, and I don't know if she's telling me this as it's the truth or to make me feel better). She also tells me she still loves me and he was her way of trying to get me out of her head. I don't know if I believe everything she's saying, she didn't lie when we were together but I don't know if she's trying to comfort me or telling me the honest truth. We hugged for a long time and I honestly needed it. She said she might break it off with him but she might not and I need to prepare for the worst if she doesn't. I was her friend for 6 or 7 years now and I don't want to lose her but I don't know if I can stay friends seeing her with my ex friend. I never trusted him and I always felt like he liked her, now that's confirmed.

I don't know what to do guys, mainly I just need to vent. If you guys have any advice, or even some kind words, I'd appreciate it. I'm so close to ending it, I want to stay alive for my friends and my pets but the bad seems to be outweighing the good.

 

[Monkeyman]

May I ask why you broke up? If you both still like each other the way you described, it sounds like you two could talk things out. Hope things work out for you...

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

May I ask why you broke up? If you both still like each other the way you described, it sounds like you two could talk things out. Hope things work out for you...

Sure, she said we were too unhealthily attached to each other and that I was very clingy. I wasn't the best boyfriend and I have acknowledged my mistakes and I finally got the opportunity to apologize recently which helped me a little. And we only recently began talking more, we've been no contact for a little less than a month and she asked me to not contact her first and wait for her to contact me. I don't really know why, and thanks, I hope they work out as well. I appreciate the supportive community here.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'll also try to make updates as they come if I can remember to.

 

[whywere]

Hi!

1st off like @Monkeyman, I wish the very best for you and your lady friend.

I also 100% agree with @Monkeyman, that issues between you two can be worked through. In my over 66 years on this planet, I have seen folks who talk, listen to each other make compromises, the whole ball of wax, and see happy conclusions.

Talking, understanding each other, as far as being grown up enough, no matter one's age, to not only work through things, BUT work TOGETHER.

I always say, "close one's eyes and see the situation". With that said you are such a kind- and good-hearted soul, that things will work out.

Sending BOTH you and your lady friend lots of hugs, love, kindness and the knowledge that you both are family here and love to both of you.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a painful and difficult situation to be in, it's awful how in this life what we go through can easily just get much worse leading to more suffering being experienced but anyway I hope that things go the way that you want them to. Best of luck.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Hi!

1st off like @Monkeyman, I wish the very best for you and your lady friend.

I also 100% agree with @Monkeyman, that issues between you two can be worked through. In my over 66 years on this planet, I have seen folks who talk, listen to each other make compromises, the whole ball of wax, and see happy conclusions.

Talking, understanding each other, as far as being grown up enough, no matter one's age, to not only work through things, BUT work TOGETHER.

I always say, "close one's eyes and see the situation". With that said you are such a kind- and good-hearted soul, that things will work out.

Sending BOTH you and your lady friend lots of hugs, love, kindness and the knowledge that you both are family here and love to both of you.

Walter

Thanks for your kind words. I truly hope everything works out. I feel awful without her and even more awful knowing she's dating my ex friend. Anyway, I do hope to talk it out with her if they break up. He was just a rebound so I hope they do. I know him better than she does and when I was friends with him, he had one goal, and it was losing his virginity. She wants kids, he never wants kids, they just don't seem compatible long term.

I thank you for your words again, Walter. You seem like a considerate, gentle soul.

That sounds like a painful and difficult situation to be in, it's awful how in this life what we go through can easily just get much worse leading to more suffering being experienced but anyway I hope that things go the way that you want them to. Best of luck.

It honestly is the worst I've ever felt, It's sad to say I've been upset for longer about this than family members deaths.

And thanks, I'm gonna need some good luck. I hope you have a good day.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm honestly so close to ending it all. I can't get over this pesky SI. I know it probably can get better but I don't see the point in waiting for that. And if she stays with him, it's gonna hurt like hell to see the two together and it's almost inevitable that I will, I live in a small town, with a small population.

 

[nozomu]

I'm sorry for this pain you are feeling... It's really hard to feel rejected like this. I really feel for you

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm honestly so close to ending it all. I can't get over this pesky SI. I know it probably can get better but I don't see the point in waiting for that. And if she stays with him, it's gonna hurt like hell to see the two together and it's almost inevitable that I will, I live in a small town, with a small population.

Hang in there, you recently met with your ex and a lot of painful feelings have understandably been stoked and brought to the surface. You got through the original breakup in one piece so you know have that capability in you.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm sorry for this pain you are feeling... It's really hard to feel rejected like this. I really feel for you

Thank you, it's not the rejection that hurts as much as knowing shes talking to someone who I once considered a very close friend and sad part is she knows the bad things he's done. He actually sexted someone we know's girlfriend and got nudes from her. He spread nudes of other girls around. He talked about how he only wanted girls for their body. Idk, I still care too and I don't want her hurt by him.

Hang in there, you recently met with your ex and a lot of painful feelings have understandably been stoked and brought to the surface. You got through the original breakup in one piece so you know have that capability in you.

I'm trying to hang in, I'm trying to plan a boys night with some friends and they're completely supportive and know the situation as I've told them. And yeah seeing her again definitely did strike some chord in me and brought the feelings I had mainly repressed to surface. And I'm glad you have faith in me, I feel like I've lost a lot of faith in myself, but I'm hoping I can make it through this, talking about it on here and getting advice and support from here and friends is really truly helpful. I appreciate you and everyone else who replies here.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm feeling somewhat better now. It helped to vent here, but my depression comes and goes in sorta episodes so I know feeling good is probably only temporary. You guys' kind words have helped immensely, I've gone through so many different emotions today; anger, sadness, rage, resentment, and even jealousy. I truly hope anyone who reads this has a great day and hopefully their situation improves, just like I hope mine does :).