Venting She doesn’t even see me

[motob]

Sat across from the one person I actually see everyday. My gf, the one person I feel would put me as their first choice, one of the only people I could confide in. I'm crying and she doesn't even see it. She doesn't react. She doesn't see me. She's just staring at tiktok. She just got up, staring at her phone the whole time and walked away. And she didn't even see my face covered in tears. I'm even posting this now by her.

I don't know what I'm doing.

 

[U. A.]

Have you tried...talking to her?

 

[motob]

Have you tried...talking to her?

Haha yeah. For a while now. But she really just doesn't know how to deal with me, since the emotions are so severe (which is...fair). It's gotten to the point where I think she's just weirded out or even scared of me that she just avoids me in this state.

If I'm audibly sobbing and I don't get a glance at this point, it also just makes me so depressed I cant even blink lol

 

[lost_one]

Haha yeah. For a while now. But she really just doesn't know how to deal with me, since the emotions are so severe (which is...fair). It's gotten to the point where I think she's just weirded out or even scared of me that she just avoids me in this state.

If I'm audibly sobbing and I don't get a glance at this point, it also just makes me so depressed I cant even blink lol

My therapist, tells me most people don't know how to deal with other people's pain. distress. It makes them uncoufortable, but still, I find it a bit cold, specially comming from someone who is supposed to care about you. Like most likely she is not deaf, she notices and ignores you. Either cause she doesn't care or cause she doesn't know how to deal with you. I don't know how old you both are, but in my opinion it's just wrong.

Yes you can get up and tell her: "Hey I am sad and I would like to talk about it. do you mind?" ( You can try to be the bigger person, and comunicate to her your needs to her, that is, tell her is you just want her to listen, if you want some concrete advice, if you want some reasuring etc.) But I personally wouldn't even bother cause I would be way too hurt. Cause to me that's basic. ( if it was me that relationship wouldn't last very long)

 

[U. A.]

Haha yeah. For a while now. But she really just doesn't know how to deal with me, since the emotions are so severe (which is...fair). It's gotten to the point where I think she's just weirded out or even scared of me that she just avoids me in this state.

If I'm audibly sobbing and I don't get a glance at this point, it also just makes me so depressed I cant even blink lol

understandably....god it's not hard to at the very least to be present and close to you. maybe you'd need something more than awareness and a hug but shit, deliberately ignored ain't it

 

[Kari0499]

Sat across from the one person I actually see everyday. My gf, the one person I feel would put me as their first choice, one of the only people I could confide in. I'm crying and she doesn't even see it. She doesn't react. She doesn't see me. She's just staring at tiktok. She just got up, staring at her phone the whole time and walked away. And she didn't even see my face covered in tears. I'm even posting this now by her.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Most ignore pain. Will walk away.

Will you do that too?

 

[PI3.14]

Man, this post makes my chest hurt.

Sorry you're going through this.

 

[MyShadow]

Man, this post makes my chest hurt.

I felt this one too. Feels all too familiar.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I understand. I talked to my bf only once, it was only about why I was sectioned, like what led up to it. He just seemed uncomfortable and tried to change the subject. When I persisted with telling him, he just said 'yeah but you're better now.'

It made me feel like it didn't matter, or that he didn't want to know. For context we got together while I was informal, maybe 3 months before I was discharged from the ward. So he knew I was there but just didn't seem to care at all.

Ever since then I've never opened up to him and it's disappointing because I struggle to open up to start with. I even avoid seeing him when I feel bad.

 

[motob]

Man, this post makes my chest hurt.

Sorry you're going through this.

Thanks. It really means a lot to be seen this way

I felt this one too. Feels all too familiar.

the unfortunate reality for a lot of us here. it's relieving to feel like I'm not the only one, though

I understand. I talked to my bf only once, it was only about why I was sectioned, like what led up to it. He just seemed uncomfortable and tried to change the subject. When I persisted with telling him, he just said 'yeah but you're better now.'

It made me feel like it didn't matter, or that he didn't want to know. For context we got together while I was informal, maybe 3 months before I was discharged from the ward. So he knew I was there but just didn't seem to care at all.

Ever since then I've never opened up to him and it's disappointing because I struggle to open up to start with. I even avoid seeing him when I feel bad.

I'm so sorry that you can't open up to him. It's so hard for people (when they're not in this mental state) to comprehend how... chronic(?) it is. And also how inconvenient. But we keep trucking on. Sending you well wishes ovo

Most ignore pain. Will walk away.

Will you do that too?

No, I don't think so. Since this post I've tried to be more direct, she's tried to be more attentive. It's often not productive and quite uncomfortable, but what can you do.

 

[onyx559]

This makes me so sad :/ if you want someone to talk to you can message me. I know I'm just a stranger from the internet but if you want someone to listen I'm here

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

In the near term I hope you can find some solace. Also keep this in the back of your mind for later... no one can make you feel better. No one is coming to save you. This is just how it is. When it's all burned away this is just the plain reality of life. Expecting or hoping that someone else can help, just isn't how it works. I say this out of compassion.

 

[motob]

In the near term I hope you can find some solace. Also keep this in the back of your mind for later... no one can make you feel better. No one is coming to save you. This is just how it is. When it's all burned away this is just the plain reality of life. Expecting or hoping that someone else can help, just isn't how it works. I say this out of compassion.

Thank you, I understand what you mean completely. It's simultaneously hopeful and crushing.

This makes me so sad :/ if you want someone to talk to you can message me. I know I'm just a stranger from the internet but if you want someone to listen I'm here

Thank you for the sympathy. It's these kinds of flickers of connection I stick around for