• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

Dusk till dawn

Dusk till dawn

Student
Sep 7, 2018
151
The more i grow up the more i realise life is empty

Life is empty, boring, dull, meaninglessness, without a clear purpose

When i was younger i used to participate in a lot of meaningless activites just to cure my boredom, i knew i was empty and shallow, i just didn't have a strong motivation to commit suicide because there was no particular event in life that scarred me beyond repair, i got over losing my childhood friends, it's fine to me

But ever since then, what was the purpose of my life? I clearly don't produce, i only consume, i'm isolated that it become a part of me, i can't bring myself to open up to anyone to try to befriend anyone, i was never brave to open up for various purposes although i wanted to try to make friends, but a part of me saw these friendships as meaningless, they won't last forever

I just feel like maybe nothing will ever make me feel fulfilled on a deeper level, and maybe that's true

Existence is arbitrary to me

During the last few years, i just become dead and alive, or maybe i was dead but alive and only now figuring it out?

I'm not even trying hard, i don't care about therapists or getting "help" or recovering because it's not worth it to me, i didn't put any effort into recovery because i can't see why it's worth putting effort when i have no attachments to anything, it's just a waste of effort to me

There's nothing that'll ever make me feel complete and fulfilled

I'm tired of repetitive activities, yet at the same time i feel some nostalgia

Sometimes feeling emotions is just better than the void i'm in, even if it's harmful emotions

A very important piece of me is lost, it's the reason i feel so unfulfilled, so incomplete, so shallow and empty, so bored and dull, but i can't grasp what's the thing that i crave, the thing that'll make me feel fulfilled, i'll probably never understand why, maybe it's because i had high expectations from life but i was disappointed to realise i'm just living in dream

I feel incomplete as a person, without a genuine purpose or reason to feel happy

The only times i genuinely feel happy is during my dreams, where i have weird dreams that depicts me in scenarios when i feel complete, with real friends that i can connect with on a deep level, when people care about me

The only times when i feel so relieved is when i'm thinking of going back to where i was before i was brought to life

I feel like happiness, feelings of fulfilment are fake no matter what, even if they seem real to you, those emotions are still fake

I hardly can understand my emotions, it's only when my subconscious gives me dreams that i get an idea of my emotions on a deeper level

I can't understand those who desire life or feel genuinely happy and fulfilled

I just want to jump off a high building, close my eyes, then never wake up again
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: DefinitelyReady, DeletedUser, Vicolo cieco and 5 others
fly

fly

YOLO
Feb 29, 2024
19
I believe in you. Where every you are now; if dead or alive
I loved your thoughts a lot
Just feel the air while falling and end all of this pain
 
AbusedInnocent

AbusedInnocent

Student
Apr 5, 2024
120
The only times i genuinely feel happy is during my dreams, where i have weird dreams that depicts me in scenarios when i feel complete, with real friends that i can connect with on a deep level, when people care about me
I can really relate to this, I'm so done with the real world I sometimes have dreams that make me see how boring and uninteresting my life is.

I wish I could dream 24/7 or find another way to take myself to a different reality.
 

Similar threads

AbsentMindedHuman
Replies
5
Views
219
Suicide Discussion
wheezle42
W
waterworks
Replies
27
Views
756
Suicide Discussion
whitesumac
W
i dont feel real.
Replies
0
Views
62
Suicide Discussion
i dont feel real.
i dont feel real.
G
Replies
0
Views
108
Suicide Discussion
Guy089001
G