I tried doing a high kick for a photo once and fell on my ass the very first try in front of my entire class. I've probably half-run into a few walls/doors without looking, knowing me. I've shook hands with the parents of my old crush backwards. I've also fallen over on my ass several times more when ice skating with said crush... sorry, both times I went ice skating with her I did that. I've met a fist bump with a hand shake a few times. I've been forced face first into the mat every single time when I had been in wrestling, plus I got suplexed by an 8th grader. I got a concussion by falling backwards sitting on a dip bar. I've sprained both ankles and my left wrist playing soccer on the blacktop, proceeded to play for an hour more stubbornly, and only then did I go to the ER. I could go on but I think I've already won, hm? Ahahaha!
"Met a fist bump with a hand shake" was prob my fav
There's an episode on 60days In where this plant inmate even gets laughed at by the Warden for doing that. He goes by Fist bump or something on a podcast. Poor thing. So determined but you don't sound very coordinated. Are you? I have a lot of stories like that lol. Even when my niece was like 3? She would cackle at something that happened to me that me, or my family would tell her, and I would ask, "Why is that so freaking funny?" and while she's cackling still and she spits out, "Because it happened to you...!"" I guess because Im the most socially proper and easily embarrassed of the family or any group that I'm that it's just that much funnier. I remember my crush in 6th grade player this flicking football game with paper with his friend, and Im like two rows away from him and the damn folded triangular paper he flicked landed and stuck somehow in my ear... and I have small ears. Cut to me like 10yrs later Im a clerk (cashier) at whole foods, and Im fat, depressed, and am ugly af so I wear a hat all the time, and he walks comes into my lane and I immediately recognize him. Looks the same, except grown up, still so cute. Im like oh shit.... please don't recognize me and hurry and go! So Im hurrying even faster than normal and he says, "Did you go to [blank] school...?" I said, "Uh... yeah..." He said we were in the same class. I agreed. He smiled and got pink (and he's tan cause he's Hawaiian) and he laughs and says, "Do you remember that time I flicked that thing and it landed in your ear?" and I died. Who knows what color I was but I grimaced and said, "Yeah..." and he laughed. Ice skating is so f**king hard.... I went on the ice with my niece when she was like 5, and I wouldn've been 20, but we rolled out and got to the middle, and I can feel I'm going to fall any second and make my niece fall too so I turn us around and we roll right back off the ice without falling in one swift wobbly loop. It was very Home Alone. Took our skates off. F**k that. I've definitely been hurrying into working with those damn sliding doors and they wont open fast enough if you're running so I run into them, in front of my boss... Ran into a bigass sign in front of him too. I was always hurrying. At whole foods (grocery store) you could a free little bag of ice for your cold stuff. I was always offering and running over to the 5ft+ high ice chest you opened and grabbed a bag. This customer definitely wanted ice this time, so I run over there and just my luck. Like two bags of ice way on the bottom. How the f*** am I supposed to reach those I'm barely 4'11"? But I lean over the edge and I lean and reach for those bags at the bottom, and I feel my feet leave the ground like 5in off the ground, Im balancing so I dont fall in and try to grab them, I can feel my ass hanging over the chest exposed for the whole row of cashiers/customers to see, and Im able to pull myself back over with the ice bags all red faced. The customers are smiling when I come back and kept saying thank you....
Before I started to get fatter and more depressed there and cover up with a hat, I woukd dress up on holidays. Like I wore this Valentine tie on Valentine's, and I'm going so fast that freaking tie gets locked in the cashier drawer and I can't open it until the next customer pays... Im trapped like Im in I Love Lucy. So I pretend that Im fine and ring up the stuff until I have to lean far over and scan this ladies cake in cart because she didn't put it on the belt. I realize I can't reach it because Im "tied" to my register and have to awkwardly ask her if she wouldn't mine scanning the cake for me. Once I looked cute on day at Walmart and was waiting behind this black woman and her cute daughter standing up in the cart in front of me. The daughter was 3 or 4. The mom rounds the corner to get a drink or grab a magazine and the daughter is just left in the cart standing and face me. I have a cute red, white, and blue head band on because it was a holiday and I wore it to work. The daughter is curiously staring me down. She cocks her head to the side and say, "Is-you-grown???" I'm shocked and embarrassed and I say, "Yes I'm an adult." Why am I getting schooled by 3yrs olds? Once my niece was (probably) 3yrs and she was pissed at her Mom for something so she grabs my hand and stomps off toward her room and says, "Come on Bae Bae!!!" and drags me to her room and shuts the door to show her Mom. What am I? Her dog? Another time her mom was my niece's room reading and my niece had a small kids pop up tent. Her mom would not get in there with her to play and so she drags me in there with her... I was a very fat girl so it hot in there and there's no room, and I'm getting claustrophobic and resent being dragged against my will into a tinyass heatbox by a child. So I poke my head out of the "dog house" door and tell my sister "HELP! I WANT OUT!" and she does nothing but laughs.... then my niece reaches her little hand out of the opening and pushed my big head back into the kid tent
Once her dad was already asleep and he worked early so I stayed up with her until it was time for bed. She slept with her parents and so I put her in with her dad, already asleep and went to leave the room. She said no and said I had to sleep with her until she fell asleep. I said I can't, her dad's right there, she'll be fine. Just go to sleep. She said no and started patting the bed and wouldn't take no for an answer. I was like "Shit, what do I do?" Because it's going to be embarrassing and rude if she wakes him up. So I just creep on the other side of her on the very edge of the bed and lay down. It's so uncomfortable and I'm hoping she falls asleep in 5secs. I can't even bring myself to put both legs on the bed so I leave one leg on the ground and just fake it like Im laying on the bed. Im uncomfortable and praying he doesnt wake up and my brother-in-laws eyes pop open and see me and not my sister. This is how I pretty much became a sick sister-wife....
Ugh social anxiety is so cruel...
When you mentioned your "kick" it reminded me of when I auditioned for American Idol and they asked us to do a little dance. The hell? What was I supposed to do? I have to plan everything... but I just go with this little Austin Powers dance and then throw my back leg up at the end and my arms in the same direction. I hurt my neck doing it to hard once. Us people with anxiety can't be asked to do spontaneous things...
If being bullied at school is considered an embarrassing story, then I could write a whole novel here.
Having to hide in the bathroom to skip class is not funny....
If being bullied at school is considered an embarrassing story, then I could write a whole novel here.
Having to hide in the bathroom to skip class is not funny....
I tried doing a high kick for a photo once and fell on my ass the very first try in front of my entire class. I've probably half-run into a few walls/doors without looking, knowing me. I've shook hands with the parents of my old crush backwards. I've also fallen over on my ass several times more when ice skating with said crush... sorry, both times I went ice skating with her I did that. I've met a fist bump with a hand shake a few times. I've been forced face first into the mat every single time when I had been in wrestling, plus I got suplexed by an 8th grader. I got a concussion by falling backwards sitting on a dip bar. I've sprained both ankles and my left wrist playing soccer on the blacktop, proceeded to play for an hour more stubbornly, and only then did I go to the ER. I could go on but I think I've already won, hm? Ahahaha!
Way to take the pain and hide it. I only did so because admitting that you bashed yourself is embarrassing. Somehow I fell just right and did something in gym and bashed my pubic bone so hard (I'm a girl, yes this happens.) and I pretty much had to walk it off like the fall didn't hurt... but this is the part where the guy grabs his balls and falls over in pain. My other crush was nearby so I definitely had to play it cool. Oh and I've always been pale, so when a little tanning place opened up in out small town my mom got me and her a package. No one tells you if you have boobs as a young girl and you're pale, that they will BURN first and easily, so at lunch for a few days all I did was go to the bathroom and hang out in a stall with my bra off because it hurt so bad. Lord.