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nihilism44

nihilism44

trying my best
May 2, 2021
79
I've struggled with self harm for as long as I can remember. I haven't really been able to cut/burn myself regularly for a few years because I'm in a long term relationship and I don't want him to see those things on my body. He gets really upset. Recently, I started drawing blood on animals at work (I work in a vet clinic) and I've been stealing syringes and needles to draw blood on myself at home. I've found that it gives me the same feeling without leaving scars. It may actually even be a bit better than cutting. Has anyone else done this?
 
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Acopia

Acopia

Specialist
Sep 21, 2020
356
This is interesting, I've thought about this many a time. I'd love to try, but my own morals mean I couldn't steal from my employer.
You're not the only one who's considered it at least.
-A :heart:
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've heard that self-harm is like a drug and never works in the end.

Hope you can feel better soon so that you and your bf keep on having great times together.

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
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nihilism44

nihilism44

trying my best
May 2, 2021
79
What does this mean?
He's right in my opinion. It feels great while you're doing it and even for a bit afterwards, like a "rush". But it only makes you feel worse in the long run. Like any other drug
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
He's right in my opinion. It feels great while you're doing it and even for a bit afterwards, like a "rush". But it only makes you feel worse in the long run. Like any other drug

This is exactly what I meant! I'm glad you got it! :)
 
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Acopia

Acopia

Specialist
Sep 21, 2020
356
I totally agree. Self harm is manageable at first, but it soon ravages you. For some it takes months, for some it takes years, but it happens in the end.
In my eyes, if you draw blood from yourself and that works, great! Just please don't push the blood back in, & don't do it too often.
-A :heart:
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,274
That certainly is interesting. I have never been one for physical self harm, but I have always liked the sensation of having blood taken. I would have no way of getting access to this though. I know self harm can be a relief but can get addictive and could be harmful in the long run. I wish you the best.
 
F

Forgetting5

Member
May 3, 2021
55
I've never used needles but I have poked myself with sharp knives which produced a lot of bleeding
 
I need peace

I need peace

The past is never dead, it's not even past.
Mar 28, 2022
141
I do this too, but I do it too many times and I'm not good with syringes, so I end up leaving bruises and marks, but they don't show up so much
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
I do this too - I don't know how to explain the feeling it gives me. Not quite power or entertainment...idk. Although I don't view it as being harmful unless I purposely fish around for a vein and am unnecessarily harsh to my vein. Then I feel and see the result the next few days. I suppose it is self harming because I use them to practise injecting - then when I finish the injection I have a bit of fun. I like to do 'spray paint' inside the sink when I have a full syringe. Sometimes I daydream of having an access port - the sort you get placed when in hospital, not sure the correct term for it - and bleeding out through it.
 

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