Discussion Sex is Overrated

[Kolanthel]

I just never really understood why people are so obsessed with sex like its the epitome of pleasure in life. There are many pleasures I would rank above sex. I'm a male and I consider myself asexual but I still crave affection and all that comes with the whole "girlfriend experience" just without the sex. It's not that I find sex not enjoyable, I just don't particularly crave it. I seek a more emotional connection rather physical. This often comes as a disappointment to my partners in previous relationships leading them to think I was gay or uninterested. Is sex all that matters? Anyone else feel the same way?

 

[woxihuanni]

Asexual people would feel the same way, who else? Rest of us don't. It has little to do with orgasms, either. Sex is bonding.

 

[Rachel74]

Food is better than sex
Shoe shopping is better than sex
Sleep is better than sex
SS is better than sex

Sex is shite!

 

[BlessedOffal]

I'm not asexual, but I agree. The older I get, the less I care.

 

[woxihuanni]

Food is better than sex
Shoe shopping is better than sex
Sleep is better than sex
SS is better than sex

Sex is shite!

Girl, it's unfair to compare it to SS. SS is better than everything else.

 

[TAW122]

To answer the question, part of it is due to the societal programming and media itself. Now, onto a more complex answer is that it is one of our most innate biological desires, the desire to want to reproduce and further the species (I don't agree with reproduction and I don't plan on having any children - am an anti-natalist, but that's another point for another time.).

For me, I cannot arrive at that conclusion yet since I have yet to experience 'sex' to be able to come to any conclusion. Perhaps I might arrive at the same conclusion that meh, sex isn't that special, or I might find it really pleasurable, I can't say until I have personally experienced it first hand. Sure some people relate to masturbation and they aren't incorrect, but on a psychological and even physiological level, the person knows the difference between masturbation (self-stimulation) and actual intercourse between two consenting adults.

 

[Boonks]

My sex drive is bipolar. Ranges from asexual to hypersexual.

 

[Rachel74]

Girl, it's unfair to compare it to SS. SS is better than everything else.

SS thrown in with gin and chocolate, now you are talking.

I'm not asexual, but I agree. The older I get, the less I care.

See that's the opposite of my partner he's 58 and rampant.

 

[woxihuanni]

SS thrown in with gin and chocolate, now you are talking.

See that's the opposite of my partner he's 58 and rampant.

Beg to differ, can do without either chocolate or gin all my life but sex... Ah, sex is good. Sex is wonderful.

 

[Troubled]

Sex is not everything until you rarely get it. Then it becomes everything.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Sex I can take or leave, leading up to the women's monthly I can be a horny bitch, but after don't fucking dare come near me!!
My husband has a high sex drive, I am generally though not that kind, if there is no connection then I am not interested, there needs to be something there!
Unless your choking me out then fuck I am on that like no tomorrow!
Yea my sex drive is as confused as me!

 

[Darkhaven]

Is it?
I have been craving it for almost 23 years and somedays it's all i can think of.
But i also have a feeling that if i tried it my clumsiness and absolutely lack of skill for everything would make it a disappointment for me.

 

[Kolanthel]

Sooo is it a dealbreaker or possible to have a relationship without/limited sex?

 

[woxihuanni]

It is not possible, even with a low libido partner. Because then it'd be always in your control, as the one who wants it even less. You need to find somebody who is also asexual.

 

[BlessedOffal]

Sooo is it a dealbreaker or possible to have a relationship without/limited sex?

Are you asking in general or each of us? Cause for me, limited sex is a necessity due to my own disinterest. But zero sex would be a deal breaker. I have no clue what would be a good general answer. Some people only want to walk around in diapers, while others want to pretend to be a table. Some want to pretend to be someone's mommy, some want to put their food on human furniture. I don't know where I'm going with this. Does it answer your question?

 

[Kolanthel]

Are you asking in general or each of us? Cause for me, limited sex is a necessity due to my own disinterest. But zero sex would be a deal breaker. I have no clue what would be a good general answer. Some people only want to walk around in diapers, while others want to pretend to be a table. Some want to pretend to be someone's mommy, some want to put their food on human furniture. I don't know where I'm going with this. Does it answer your question?

Yes, thank you for the answer. Looking for individual input and will see if there's a general consensus I guess...

 

[Rachel74]

I would say my wand does more for me than any man or woman could do!
Whoever invented that thing is god!

 

[Alchemist]

I would say my wand does more for me than any man or woman could do!
Whoever invented that thing is god!

Are you a wizard?

 

[Darkhaven]

Are you a wizard?

"You're a Wizard, Harry!"

 

[sadgirl2002]

I don't really care much for it but then again, I'm a virgin and I'm saving myself for marriage. I guess I never understood it, I've wanted to say I'm asexual but I don't want to have a label for myself. I crave true love, affection and an emotional connection that's based on the soul but other than that, I don't really want anything else. If I could have platonic love, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

 

[Life sucks]

Sex is overrated because of how stupid is the biological body. The stimulation (which is way more fun than sex itself) happens visually in third person most likely, with some other factors like sounds, fantasies..etc. Also the visual part is second/third point of view


However, sex itself becomes boring and repetitive and its from first person perspective which is way different than the stimulation part.


Its just a shitty biological programming. Making something looks so cool and oppress people about it so people procreate more

 

[Final Escape]

I was way too sexually interested as a young person lol! I envy people who are less controlled by their desire for sex. It's probably way less frustrating to not have such a high drive. There might have been other reasons that I was using sex that had nothing to do with the actual sex or enjoyment of it. I was using it to try to get love, attention, acceptance, validation.

 

[woxihuanni]

I was way too sexually interested as a young person lol! I envy people who are less controlled by their desire for sex. It's probably way less frustrating to not have such a high drive. There might have been other reasons that I was using sex that had nothing to do with the actual sex or enjoyment of it. I was using it to try to get love, acceptance, validation.

Sex is never mainly about the friction for anybody anyway. It is the bonding, the being free together, the letting go. Of course, if there is not a solid relationship behind it, it is seeking to belong and being disappointed. Which I understand has been painful for you many times.

 

[LonelyLight]

Sex is one of the very few pleasures in my life. To me its about the closeness, I just love feeling close to somebody. Feeling wanted by somebody even just in that moment. But I wish I was held afterwards. Is that pathetic? Oh well.

 

[Final Escape]

Sex is never mainly about the friction for anybody anyway. It is the bonding, the being free together, the letting go. Of course, if there is not a solid relationship behind it, it is seeking to belong and being disappointed. Which I understand has been painful for you many times.

Yea I had no skills to form healthy relationships so I would use sex. This is probably super common for young people from dysfunctional or broken homes. This is what they expect from kids who grow up in welfare system, that u will repeat the cycle and create a new generation of poor people dependent on welfare which keeps this evil system going.

 

[woxihuanni]

Yea I had no skills to form healthy relationships so I would use sex. This is probably super common for young people from dysfunctional or broken homes. This is what they expect from kids who grow up in welfare system, that u will repeat the cycle and create a new generation of poor people dependent on welfare which keeps this evil system going.

You didn't perpetuate this, though, I believe (through own kids).

 

[drake4871]

I honestly think sex is pretty great, but there are definitely things that feel better. But I mean mixing weed + sex with someone I cared about was honestly one of the best experiences

 

[Final Escape]

You didn't perpetuate this, though, I believe (through own kids).

Instead of perpetuating the cycle I just decided maybe it was not a good idea to become a parent unless I could acquire some serious therapy first. I most certainly would have repeated the cycle if I had kids but I think at least I could have admitted to my kids where I had fucked up and that I'm sorry for allowing them to be born into disadvantage that could have been prevented.

 

[LonelyLight]

I honestly think sex is pretty great, but there are definitely things that feel better. But I mean mixing weed + sex with someone I cared about was honestly one of the best experiences

Second the weed and sex statement!!

 

[Boonks]

Second the weed and sex statement!!

Everything is better with weed.