Challu

Challu

Life boat
Aug 29, 2022
260
Tired on relapsing on porn and sex.
I'd rather be judged by God than continue living here, and struggling, failing over and over.

It's serious enough that I am sure I need addiction counseling.. but how long into that therapy until it would get ahold of me again?

I feel like I disappoint God and i feel x2 worse about disappointing myself every time I fail.

My whole reason to CTB is to stop sinning. I just want to express a true heart of love for goodness without being tempted.

It's impossible, this is so impossible to do here.
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,620
all addiction is an illness. Please don't blame yourself for being ill.
 
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H.O.Xan

Experienced
Feb 1, 2023
278
i'm one too. don't feel bad abt it. i don't indulge in porn however. but i spend a lot of time fantasising
 
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Kerock

Kerock

Member
Apr 10, 2023
58
I'm on the same boat, but it's porn addiction. And it's not really a sin in the eyes of god since I'm an atheist, it just goes against the morals. The hypocrisy, shame, and the fact I look and feel disgusting after relapse just makes me want to Ctb. I wonder if I have this addiction in response to trauma or because I naturally have this fucked up fetish. Either way I feel like I've dug too deep a hole to get out of.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,095
If you have too much idle time, porn happens. Other activities are needed.
 
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Escapee

Student
Jan 14, 2023
163
I don't know how much your addiction affect you. I have gone through similar experience. I know how painful the remorse is. But I still can't understand how only this thing can lead one to ctb. I maybe wrong. Please if you pm me we can discuss more. God May speak to you through me. Please don't hesitate to pm me. God bless you
 
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AerialBoundaries

The Songs of Distant Earth.
Sep 18, 2022
432
You describe me to a tee. A horrible affliction.
 
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unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
If you have too much idle time, porn happens. Other activities are needed.
Bullshit. Porn is the not the first thing, or even a thing that happens with too much idle time.
There are some many others. And those 'other' activities will become addictive just as so; especially in desperate attempts to drop one addiction.
 
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